[Gracey]

I am in the middle of an unbelievable mess right now, and it is kicking my anxiety in HIGH GEAR.

Three days ago, on Wednesday, a young lady came to spend labor day weekend with me and my family. I've known her and her family for quite a while, and have looked forward to meeting her finally. She flew in Wed morning, I picked her up, and we had a great day that day. Thursday morning, we ran some errands, had lunch, and then came home. And at 1pm, all hell broke loose. She totally dissociated. . .completely. Almost like catatonia. She stayed this way for over 13 hours before it finally broke. I ended up having to take her to the ER b/c she was cutting and mutilating herself very badly, and I couldn't get through to her. Her mother had given me a consent form "just in case" for the weekend, so I able to attain treatment for her. She ended up being checked into the children's psych unit (she is 17) and since then, it's only gotten worse.

Apparently the staff is accusing me of having some sort of "romantic interest" in her b/c of a note I left for her, which basically told her to keep her chin up, work the program, blah blah blah, and that I signed, "Love Gracey." They also feel it was "wrong" for me to stay with her through the ER stay, and come up to the unit and get her tucked into bed. I'm a mother for Christ's sake. . .that's what mama's do, even if the kid isn't theirs. I'm old enough to BE this child's mother, although that is not my role in her life.

Now, the staff is wanting me to come in tomorrow morning to meet with them about all of this. This really pisses me off b/c through this whole adventure, they haven't come up with a treatment plan for her, they aren't letting her participate in group, and they aren't working with her mother, who flew down to be here. Her mom was 18 hours away when this all took place, WHAT was I supposed to do? Drop her off at the ER and just leave her? I am feel very attacked here, with this RETARDS and their insinuations. I'm starting to second guess everything I did, and my relationship with this child. . .wondering AM I being inappropriate? Are there some lesbian overtones to the note I sent her?

Somebody help. . .

[Parker10]

Geez Louise - any caring person, who has a 17 year old visiting them would have done just what you did ! I dont think there was anything inappropriate in your note to her, and for the staff to even THINK that it was inappropriate concerns me. IS it a good place? I can understand them not allowing her to participate in things if they do not have her stablized, and if they are unable to have a treatment plan - perhaps due to wanting records etc. I am glad her Mom came, and I think that you should make it VERY clear to them in the meeting they requested how this had made you feel, and also how you accepted responsibility for someones child, and you fullfilled it, as if this were your own child. SHEESH - that whole thing ticks me off!!!!! Stay strong, and strong in your belief that you did what was right, and in the child's best interest.......don't let those jerks make you think any different !

I do hope the girl will soon be better !

[CedarS]

Oh my gawd, I cannot believe how stupid they are behaving! How horrible, to take you, a caring person going out of her way to do the right thing, and twist it around to slap you with it.

You in good touch with her Mom? I hope she knows what is going on and that she will advocate for you too, you deserve thanks not bashing.

Do you have to go to that meeting?

dismiss that idiotic group of people and skip that meeting. that is the most ridiculous that i've ever heard. and no, your note didn't have lesbian overtones. that came from a staff that doesn't do their work...too much gossip time.........ignore it. let the mother take over.............you are a good and kind person.

[dottie]

Hi. Sounds like you are dealing with a group of overeducated fools. Hope things get better for you.

~Dottie

[TheOrganicAngel]

Those fools have sex on the brain. Apparently, you can't even show concern over a child's welfare without it being translated into something sexual. If you choose to go to that meeting, be sure to let the staff know how stupidly they are reacting, and recommend that they tune into the LOGO network to get their future lesbian thrills.

Outrageous.

~Alexiel

[Lexicon78]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this crap. You were only doing what was in her best interest and I commend you for that. Those people don't know jack about that girl and need to give you a break. You were only watching her and doing the best you could. You did the right thing. I agree that the mother should handle it from here on out.

Could maybe you AND the mother sit in on this little meeting of theirs? I don't know. Just a thought. That way the mother could hear all the crap they're throwing at you. I'm sure things will work out for the best. Maybe taking a lawyer would be a good idea if they want to accuse you of anything. There's another idea. Just keep your mind open to whatever options come your way.

Take care...if you need me just pm me or post to me...I'm always lurking around here.

Lexi

[Gracey]

Thank you all so much for your support. I did not in fact, attend this meeting this morning. I hate it, b/c I am afraid they are going to paint me as "uncaring" to the girl, but after meeting with the mother last night, I realized (as did my friend who went with me) they were trying to set me up to the bad guy with her. I dont believe that was in her best interest, and neither did my husband. So, I had to make the hard decision, to not go. I DID however, write a note on a tiny post it, and slip it into her Altoid's tin; her mom hates them, she loves them. Hopefully she'll see it on the plane and know that they totally cut me out. That I wasn't around not by choice, but b/c they forced me out.

Again, thank you all SO much for the encouraging words. This has taken a huge toll on me and I appreciate your kind words so much.