[soonforgotten]

Tomorrow is my daughter's final camp day and the owner's are having a pool party at their house; my mother is a housekeeper so she volunteered to go there today to help clean up for tomorrow. She asked me to come along so I agreed as I didn't want to be labelled as the parent who doesn't volunteer plus the lady was picking us up and taking us back home. I thought I would've enjoyed it but I didn't; once again I could've sworn that during both trips, people on the street were watching me and that the lady was also judging me as it seems every kid who attends her preschool / camp come from a 2 parent home and of course she knows there is no father/ husband in my picture, I was uncomfortable for the whole 9 hours I was there. I honestly can't go back there tomorrow for the pool party, I will die, I know I will; I am going to have to pull a fake illness of some sort to get out of this. whoever reads this please don't think that I am a bad mother 'cause i'm not; I just can't handle it right now.

[CedarS]

I definitely do not think you are a bad mother. I firmly believe that you have the right to say -No- to anything at all. You get to have all your feelings, you get to make choices, you get to do what is right for you. No matter what anyone else thinks.

My son is now 25 years old, I raised him as a single mom. I can relate to much of your experience that you have posted here. I understand and empathize.

If you actually wanted to go again, there are things you can do with your thoughts etc. that might help.

If you don't want to go, for any reason or no reason at all, you don't have to. You fully get to say -No-, however works for you, with any excuse or no excuse that works for you.

You are a worthy human being and a good mother and you get to have your own preferences, likes and dislikes. You get to choose how you spend your energy and time.

Sarah

[soonforgotten]

thanks (((((((((SarahL)))))))))

i understand your feelings. i really do. i've been in the same position. since this is your daughter's last camp day, please consider how much she wants you to be there. your presence, for her, will be far more powerful than what others think. ultimately, what matters is your relationship with her. if you can grit your teeth and do it, years from now, that's what you and she will remember. that you could go........xoxoxoxo pat

[soonforgotten]

I wish I could go Pat ...... I'm sitting here crying, I feel really lousy honestly I do, but I can't I just can't

[jmo531]

Lisa,

Did you end up going or did you stay home?

I understand how this is upsetting for you. I am sorry you had to go through that. Please let us know how things went, OK? Talk to you soon.

Hugs,

Jen

[soonforgotten]

Thanks Jen,
No I didn't go but thank God there were some guardian angels who looked after her for me.
How are this with you? drop me a PM and let me know.

Hugs*
Lisa

[kelbelle65]

I agree with everyone who said you didn't have to go. I just recently learned to say no to things I feel obligated to do. And I also learned that you don't need an excuse. For me, it feels better to be authentic and say something like, "I'm just not feeling sociable today." Anyone who cares about you will understand. Anyone who doesn't understand is probably feeling envious that they couldn't bring themselves to bow out. And it's OKAY if someone doesn't understand. We all need to love ourselves just a little bit more and take care of ourselves when we're about to do one more thing for someone else.

Hugs {{{{{Soon}}}}} (and by the way I think you should promote yourself to "Forever Remembered")

Love,
Kelly

[soonforgotten]

(((((((((Kelly)))))))))

Thank you so much for your reply to my post; I have come to terms with my actions on that day I still feel a little bit guilty that I didn't go but not as bad.

Also thanks for the name suggestion. I keep it at heart don't think I've reached that stage yet though.

Hugs

Lisa