Waiting for relief (a general intro as well?)

I haven't seen a doctor in a while. I have been getting refills. My clinic here has switched my psychiatrist two times because they left. I was just informed by the nurse of the nurse practitioner I am seeing that I will receive no more refills until my appt on the 2nd of Dec. I disagree with this decision. Keeping someone from refilling their meds could result in a lot of things including suicide. I am not referring to me. They said there were two or three no-shows from me. I do not remember just not showing up, but rescheduling yes. And I received a letter from her cancelling an appt last month. I am dreading the visit fearing I'll get scolded. For one thing, it's hard for to get out. I don't like leaving the house. I don't have a car, and prefer a taxi.
I was living with my roommate from May 2009 to two months ago. I live with my cat now, and go to school online at U of Phoenix. I'm on my third "semester" now, but almost took a leave of absence a few weeks ago because I felt I just couldnt handle the school work. But I got through my finals anyhow. I am majoring in healthcare administration, but doubt I will find a job after I graduate in March. I have a long period of unemployment. I've been in Wisconsin since 2006 October, and haven't worked since I've been here. Maybe it will be retail again for me.
As for meds I am on Gabapentin for anxiety, Xanax, and citalprolam for depression. The Gababpentin really turns me into a zombie, but lifts my mood.
Right now I feel I am really losing it. Last month, I almost called 911 because I was out of Xanax and having panic attacks and feeling out of control. But I asked my ex-roommate for money to buy them since I didnt have it. I have been off my antidepressant for like two weeks? Can't get a refill. Thats when I called and found out I had to see her first. Sometimes I use Nyquil to calm me down. Sometimes Benadryl. Theres a lot more I coudl write about childhood stuff but I think Ill leave it for now.
Im glad to be here and hope to make friends and provide and get support here.

Lauren

Hello Lauren,

Welcome to pc. I'm sorry things are worrying you. Hopefully we'll be able to support you.

They probably just want to monitor your progress and make sure the meds work correctly because if there is a serious side effect or a risk of some kind, they could get in trouble. Can you go to another doctor if you don't like this practice?Sounds like the meds are helpful for you when you have them available.

Hi Lauren. Welcome! I'm really sorry you've been messed around by the clinic. I don't understand how they can justify stopping your prescriptions like this. I hope you're able to make arrangements to go to a different medical practice so that you can remain on your meds continuously.

Well done for getting through your finals!! That's a great achievement!!

Wishing you all the very best

Thank you. I understand them getting annoyed with rescheduling over months, but its still serious to cut someone off from their meds. They are the same thing I have been talking for a long time. There is another clinic here. I wrote down the number. Its called womens health but said they deal with mental health and meds. Right now is really a roller coaster and Im trying not to fall off. Im not surprised since I wa son 80mg of citalopram a day for depression and have been off it for like two weeks now at least? My brain is going what the hell? I have been on antidepressant sinceI was 18. 20 years. i started out with Prozac. And I dont know about citalopram anymore. I took lexapro before. Maybe that would be better. I just dont know. The thing is I havent been really depressed since Ive been without them. Anxious, panicky, and angry, but not really dowwwwwn. I think the antidepressant helps regulate anxiety too. All I can do is wait.

I hope things get easier and that December 2nd comes quickly for you. This is a great place to distract yourself, and also to get some additional support