[criostiona]

I don't know where to begin, so I think I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out. I've started so many different threads on different boards only to delete them before I publish them because I'm sure I'm doing or saying something wrong. I apologize ahead of time if this becomes long and rambling.

I'm pretty sure I have three lovely disorders all tied up nicely in one little package: depression, anxiety, and anorexia. Each one seems to feed off the other, sending me into a downward spiral that's going faster and faster. I'm depressed, but I'm terrified to ask for help, so to deal with it I starve myself. I get sicker, which makes me more depressed. Still too scared to say anything, more starving. See where I'm going with this?

I've been feeling like this on and off for YEARS. Lately though, I feel like everything is crashing down around me, and I just can't hold things together anymore.

I don't know how to ask for help though. First, I just moved to a new city and a new state. I know absolutely nobody. Second, I can't afford health insurance, so I doubt there is anyway for me to afford treatment.

I just don't know what to do or where to go. All I want to do is stay locked in my house and never come out. Impossible to do when you have to work. That just makes me hate my job and blame it for pulling me away from my comfort zone. I wake up every morning thinking there's no way I can do this one more day.

Where did I go wrong in life? And what, if anything, can I do to make things better? I'm feeling desperate and hopeless. Any advice or help will be so greatly appreciated.

[phoenix7]

HI criostiona

Im a long way from youin Australia - so i cant help about the insurance but im sure somone else will.

Ive read in other posts that there are charities that do councelling free of charge - maybe there are some in your state? or free counselling lines - or help lines?

Coming here and talking is a good first step - i really hope you can find a therapist to help you

I understand how you are using starving as a copijng mechanism - the thing is to learn new things to replace it - i have self injured in the past... recent past - sighs its my coping mechanism - i am learning other ways to cope - if you go to the self injury board there are copign mechanisms thetre that you can apply to your habit of starving too - and in the PTSD forum there are grounding techniques at the top of the forum that might help you

there is an eating disorder forum too

you have reached out and that is very brave of you - now yuo need to find someon in real life - to help you through this - some way of accesing a psychologist or counsellor

if i hear anything anywhere i wil let you know

if you need to talk feel free to PM me ok

take care of you and try not to beat yourself up about things - when that happens - try to thinkif a friend said that to me what would i say? that they are dumb? noooooooo - treat yourself like you would a friend ok

take care

P7

[Gus1234U]

yes, please do keep posting, and when you have posted 5 times, you can come into the live chats and attend the Hosted Topical chats,, check your calendar for the times and topics,,, but they can be very helpful, especially meeting people with your own needs and interests, and learning new skills,, hope you find some relief soon~ best wishes~ Gus

[pyratechic]

I am also new to this forum and understand. There are many resources for finding affordable mental health services. Most providers know you NEED them and are willing to work out a payment plan that is managable. I would go to your states website. They often have links to charity care resources. I myself think I have several issies, incl. anxiety, bipolar, and S/L addiction, self-injury. So, I know when you have so many issues it seems hard to know what is coming form where. And which things are tied into what issues, which makes it hard to treat and move on and live happily and heathily. Hang in there. I am here for you!!!

[Ryask]

I have looked up some resources in your area you can find them here : http://www.suicidehotlines.com/florida.html

Most of them are free crisis lines but some of them when you scroll through help with things like setting appointments, finding services and i am sure some can even help with finding low cost or no cost resources. Have a look and i hope you find some help, it's very brave of you to take the first step by making a post here. Good for you, it takes alot i know.

Best of luck and keep us posted,
Ryask