[kneedhelp]

Over the past three months I've awakened in the middle of the night or in the morning with racing heart, major adrenaline rushes, dry heaves, gagging and the onslaught of "OH NO! I'm about to die."

This is what I have experienced for the past few months along with the feelings of impending doom.

My situation was this, Briefly - I had lost a home, all my worldly possesions due to criminal acts. My business was on life support, and I had major debt - teetering on personal bankruptcy. To top all this off I was betrayed by my best friend who I knew for ten years...all this happened in the course over the last three months...

My world was in a tailspin. Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks and PTSS were my constant companions. They were my personal four horsemen.

I don't drink or drug. I needed a way to cope. I was beyond desperate. I searched high and low for relief on the internet for answers. I even typed into a search engine browser these three words "I want to die" because thats how bad I felt. The only results returned were the national suicide hotline. (I did not call the suicide hotline because I didn't want to die but wanted relief) -

Another solution I received when I was trying to alleviate this condition was the Samaritans. I e-mailed them telling in detail how I felt and received this reply," I am glad you have contacted Samaritans. We aren't therapists but we can offer you emotional support you for as long as you wish. I wonder whether it would help to talk about what has happened in the last three months and how the world has been collapsing on you?...I wrote another detailed reply back and haven't heard a word back from them since. SIGH...

Also everywhere I looked online was either a solution to take different drugs, quack light therapy, hypnotherapy, online counseling, chat rooms, or religious ramblings. I posted on forums and received the standard hugs, "we know how you feel", and the "One day at a time" boloney.

I waited many one days at a time and nothing changed, in fact I was getting worse.

Nobody personally cared. NOBODY BUT NOBODY CARED --- Everything was about $$$ / Everybody wanted $$$ or were just too busy to give a damn. I was too depressed to get even a little bit angry. I was a ZOMBIE; not eating right, smoking cigarettes like I owned stock in Philip Morris, sleeping most of the day and waking up more tired than I was before I fell asleep.

Enough of my life's challenges and dismay ...

EUREKA!!! For the last two mornings --- I HAVEN'T HAD ANY ATTACKS / DEPRESSION LIFTED ---

I FEEL GREAT---and had 2 nights of the most restful and peaceful sleep I've had in a very long time...

I feel like a new person and a miracle has been bestowed upon me...Two nights and mornings with no panic/depression attacks may not seem like a long time but I would have done ANYTHING to feel like I do now...I know this is not a temporary situation...I believe I found the answer to break out of these chains...

I am not bitter that noone was there to help me in so many times of absolute need when I was in a dire mental predicament. My goal is to offer a glimmer of hope to even one person. I am not a doctor/ psychiatrist/therapist, just someone who has been where you are and wants to feel better. The solution I personally used that has made me feel like a million dollars is this...

glad things are going well for you. pat

Okay, I'm lost. Is what? Is this...? What?
Am I stupid, or what?
Is this... like "to be continued" or is it- Is this...like you've already said the answer somewhere previously in your post? Or is it like an Is this...like this forum?
Please, clear this up for me?
I'm glad you're feeling better!!!
(((Kneadhelp)))

[lenjan]

Sounds rather troll-like to me....

[Myzen]

Hi folks,

OUCH!

When I first started posting on the net, someone wisely said to me that it doesn't matter so much what you write, as long as you are genuine.

Kneedhelp, your post does look like a wind up. I hope you will prove us wrong.

Cheers, M