[lavieenrose]

I'm spinning my wheels in the mud. Being a single homeowner on disability gets really hard and stressful. I've always shovelled my long sloping driveway myself, but can't anymore. A plow business cleared it yesterday, but I have to sign a contract for the season. Even 3 inches, $35. I worry about every penny I spend. Do I pay for yesterday but not sign on? I hate living this way. Poverty sucks. It adds so much fuel to my anxiety. I never go to restaurants, have getaways, buy myself anything.

Another problem: Last winter, the snow plow guy for my neighbor across the street pushed all my neighbor's driveway snow across the street and onto my property, a mountain of it, right next to my driveway, blocking my view of oncoming traffic, on a busy road. I told him not to ever do that again. This morning, I get to the bottom of my driveway and there's another huge pile. Am I being petty? A crank? I don't know, but I'm furious, feel violated. His is a narrow driveway with landscaping that he doesn't want to damage. He even placed boulders on his curb so that no one would park there. Yet, he feels he can dump on my property and damage my plants. I don't understand people who have no regard for others, who just don't care. I spoke to the police, but there's no violation. They said it's only "inconsiderate, not illegal". This is just the first storm. I feel I have no power, no clout. Sorry if this is inappropriate. I needed to vent.

[Gus1234U]

i totally understand you, Rose,, i'm in much the same position,,, i say don't sign up for the rip off charges, there is always someone down on their luck looking to shovel when it's deep,, or when the darn plow puts an ice bank at the foot of the driveway,, oh,, i hate that~!

you might call around, like the Senior Centers sometimes keep lists of people who shovel snow for people who can't do it , ` ? and congrats on keeping a home at all,,

it's hard, but i do without almost every thing other people take for granted, too,, hope to get to know you better ~~ best wishes,, Gus

[Perna]

It's not looking like Massachusetts is going to get very many "only 3 inches" snows this year I would sign on. I can't do my driveway either and my landscaper (I just got this past summer, best money I have spent for peace of mind for a long time!) will do plowing for me too, BUT, last year the State needed all the free-lance snow plowers first, before they could do private stuff so I may not get plowed if there's a really big storm.

If you hire someone, I would simply find someone you really "like" and tell them your problem and play tit for tat for a bit, have the snow plow guy "accidentally" need the room to back up over your neighbor's area/plants because there's no room left near your property to maneuver and/or have your guy move some of the other guys snow "back" to his yard or your snow to his yard (if his guy comes first and "fills" your space), etc.

[lavieenrose]

Thanks Gus for your reply. I appreciate your input, and would like to get to know you, too. I'm feeling a lot of pressure to send the contract, as the guy wants it ASAP, and the other plow guys never called me back. I called the senior center handyman, who also didn't get back to me. Depression and through-the-roof anxiety make it hard to organize myself, and figure out next steps to my problems. I don't know where to find the high school kids to shovel cheaply, that gets suggested to me by friends. Seems no one wants to do anything cheaply.

There are so many pressures falling on my head. I don't know what is appropriate or not to share at PC. Even here, as with my friends, I feel bad for complaining, talking about my problems. I don't want to be a burden.

Today, my dog cost me a fortune in a behavior consult and treatment for HIS anxiety. I don't have the money, or energy for the training he needs. But, either I do it, or re-home him, which also feels terrible.

[lavieenrose]

Perna, thanks for your ideas. It's been 2 days since the storm, and this guy's waiting for his money and the contract, so I think I'll have to sign on. He didn't say a word, his wife was the friendly one. I think he was anxious to get to the next job, and probably wouldn't do the favor of shoving the snow back across the street, a fairly busy street. But, I'd love to shove it back at the neighbor. Every time I think about it, grrrrr.

[boodles]

Hi lavieenrose, I'm sorry to hear your troubles. I am not in exactly the same situation, but I worry that I will be soon. I live alone, too, and it's not easy having to manage everything alone without the physical help or the emotion support of sharing responsibilities and decision-making. We have a lot in common, including a dog with behavior issues and a sloping driveway with no one to shovel it!

Anyway, I'm not experienced enough with hard winters to know about snow removal rates, but I wish you could find some reliable teenage neighbors to help you for a cheaper rate.

As for your neighbor across the street, I don't agree with the other person who suggested that you do "tit for tat." I just haven't found that to be productive; it just tends to escalate hard feelings and increase the tension and anxiety. Maybe you can talk to him again and remind him that moving the snow to your yard is not an option. Or do you have someone who can talk to him on your behalf? I find that, as angry as things can make me, that the more I am nice about resolving conflicts, the better the results. But I don't mean being nice to the point of being a pushover.

Anyway, I saw your post and just wanted to wish you well....take care.

[Perna]

I don't know your property situations; I live in a townhouse and at the end of my driveway is a patch of grass that we put our trash/recycling out on but multiple dogs (including my next door neighbor's) use it for their bathroom and their owners don't pick it up. When they go on my driveway proper, I use a shovel, etc. and fling it over to my neighbor's driveway; I'm retired so home when he's at work and/or he really doesn't care; he has the corner lot and does not clean up after his dogs in his yard, lets them roam off leash (and doesn't pay much attention, screams at them when he finally notices they're over in my yard/bushes). I like my neighbor though, he's helpful in some things and I don't care to make a problem over sh it

Parts of everybody's property, especially that nearest the road/water (we're on the water) actually has gas/electric/cable, etc. right-of-ways, isn't "ours" to mess with.

I don't know that with the heavy kinds of snows you have that there is any way to keep from having too "high" a level of snow in order to get the street/driveways cleared. It's always inconvenient for awhile; I remember how angry I was last year because someone pulled their car back in a parking space at the parking area in order to shovel the snow around their car and when the snow plow came, they couldn't get through because that car wasn't pulled forward enough, was sticking out in the street and, since it's a private, residential area, not a priority street, the plow just went away defeated and my third of the street didn't get plowed that day!

If this snow goes away some before the next batch, I'd see if I couldn't fashion a fence or posts of some sort so you could get to the area from your driveway area but the across the street person couldn't and/or see if you can get plowed first so there's no "room" for his snow?

[lavieenrose]

Thanks Boodles for your comments. I agree that revenge and anger will only escalate the situation. I went over and spoke to him yesterday. Having forgotten where this thread was, I wrote about it in the Coping with Emotions section. He was nearly silent, his expression was blank mixed with scorn. No apologies, explanations, or agreement to stop. It was creepy. While it angered me all the more, I didn't yell or get nasty, but I definitely communicated my displeasure at his utter disregard. I asked the name of his plow man. He actually said, "I don't know his name", and closed his door in my face.

[lavieenrose]

Thanks Perna, I've thought of some sort of wood barrier, like those that protect shrubs in winter, but it would have get stuck into that huge mound of snow. There won't be any melting for months. Don't know how I'd physically manage that. These people aren't going to care about a barrier, anyway. I learned that the guy who plows is a friend of the neighbor, not some real company. But thanks for the ideas.

[sundog]

Oh my!! I am SO sorry you have such a crappy neighbor ((((((((((lavie))))))))))) Yikes. What a jerk. I admire your restraint at not raising your voice when you spoke to him today. Ugh. It's way beyond "inconsiderate" that his snow gets dumped on your driveway! That would enrage me no end. But you have definitely taken the higher ground by keeping your tone civil and not sinking to his level of behavior. It's just so sickening that he can get away with this though.....

I wonder if you have signed on now with your snow plow guy? Or whether you have been able to find someone else to help??

Hugs to you

[lavieenrose]

Hi Sundog, Yep. I did sign on. And just opened a bill for the last storm, $70 for a "double plow". I don't know how I'm going to make it to the end of the season. My tenant/housemate is willing to split the usual $35 per storm, but not a double dip. Living is very expensive.

[lavieenrose]

I did post under the thread "feeling dumped on", (having forgotten where this thread was ) that finally a sympathetic police officer delivered a strong warning to the neighbor and his plow guy to stop pushing the snow across the street onto my property. The catalyst was a wonderful man living next door to the neighbor. By chance, I met him and he told me he witnessed the plow man in the act and reported it to a police officer. That was the officer who finally did something. I found out the police dep't. never even documented my complaint to them. When I called them yesterday, they had no record of me. I couldn't believe it. But, at least there's a resolution to the snow business.