[jenn1356]

Hi, I'm new here. This is my first post. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15, however, my anxiety began in college and has gotten progressively worse. I finally went to my doctor who prescribed Klonopin .5, which only made me teary and more depressed. The paniky feeling ceased, however I was left feeling horrible. My doctor has been gone for a week now, and I'm about to lose my mind.

I work a very stressful job, I'm a social worker. I am still going through a divorce, my second, with a 3 yr. old. The ex won't sign until it's perfect, and it hasn't been yet. I barely make ends meet being a single mom. I have a bf now, however, he's unemployed and is either unable or unwilling to find a job. That has stressed me out beyond belief.

I seem to wake up in the morning automatically on the wrong side of the bed, I wake up mean, cranky and mad at the world. It only gets worse through the day. I feel so bitter at the choices I've made, and in turn, I'm bitter towards everyone in my life.

Mental health is no stranger to me. I seem to be able to solve other's issues and give great advice, however I can't seem to do the same for myself. I've went through the whole "rebel" and do everything that other's think are bad. Now I'm snapping out of that, but snapping into the realization that I've made a terrible mess of my life and my son's life...and I blame it all on myself. GRRRRR....I hate life right now.

[Denver Dave]

We're the only ones who are to blame for the decisions we make. If you try to place the blame on someone else, you'll never get anywhere.

Start by setting goals for yourself. Where do you want to be in six months, a year, five years, ten years? You don't like your job and you're not happy with your boyfriend (understandably). What would it take to make you happy? What are your passions, your interests, your hobbies? If you can figure out how to earn a living from one of those, that's ideal.

[Perna]

Hi, Jenn, sorry you are having a rough patch now, I wish I could give some magic advice to give you some relief. It does sound like you need "relief" from both your situation and your own criticism? Can you think of something simple you would like that might give you comfort or hope for a bit and go for that?

I guess I would try to find a helpful relative I could send my son to stay with for a bit, someone I trusted, just for a week or two and get my living situation sorted out with my ex- and current bf and figure out what I wanted/needed to do for myself and how to proceed; just give myself enough space to make a "plan" I felt I could work on without added stress caused by a feeling of "mess" about my life.

[Cyran0]

jenn, do you currently see a therapist? I know as a social worker you know the drill but I ask because a friend of mine is a social worker and it took her forever to admit she needed a counselor herself. It just sounds like you're dealing with so much maybe it's time to get some help for yourself?

Cyran0

[Ambrosa]

Originally Posted by Cyran0

jenn, do you currently see a therapist? I know as a social worker you know the drill but I ask because a friend of mine is a social worker and it took her forever to admit she needed a counselor herself. It just sounds like you're dealing with so much maybe it's time to get some help for yourself?

Cyran0

Totally agree there. I was a Case manager and the first thing my supervisor told me is to find someone out side work to talk too. Luckily for me at that time I already had someone cause it all can get a bit to much. In the end it wasn't the client's problems that weighed me down it was the staff