[naughty noo noo]

Hello, I have suffered from anxiety for some time now, usually on and off due to stresses in my life.

My partner and I are going through quite a stresses time with our finances and are probably going to be made bankrupt. He has now went back to uni to study which leaves me as the sole provider of money to pay our large mortgage and all our bills. We constantly get debt letters through the door which I don't open, phone calls from debtors and people that come to our door.

My anxiety has been getting worse lately as I have my usually fast heartbeat, and sense of dread.

But I have also experienced some new things. I have been getting lots of intrusive thoughts which I have no idea why I think about them. Some of them are horrible and quite morbid. Sometimes I can hear a voice in my head screaming which I have never had before. I am getting quite worried about it all. I'm finding it hard to talk to my partner about this

Is it normal to have random thoughts?

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Thanks for reading

[kaliope]

i am not saying this is what is happening to you, but when my stress and anxiety gets bad enough i begin to experience psychosis. I will hear people talking to me that are not really there and have hallucinations. Walls will "breathe" and patterns in carpet become fluid and move about on me.

Do you have a therapist you can go to to discuss what is going on? It would be wise to get in to talk to somebody before things progress much farther. It sounds as if things are beyond stressful for you right now and you need to take some measures to get things under control. what is stopping you from filing for bankruptcy? it sounds like it would take a great weight off your shoulders. perhaps you could talk to a financial planner for suggestions. they have them free here in USA for people in your situation.

good luck to you. hugs.

[naughty noo noo]

Thanks for your reply kaliope

I don't have a therapist at the moment. I am being torn going to my gp to speak about it. I fel really awkward speaking about it face to face. The voice I hear was like a thought kind of, but not my thought and it didn't sound like me so not sure what that was? I don't think I have psychosis as I don't think I am hallucinating. I did think I seem something weird the other day when I was at work, a person wearing a black mask but it went away quickly. But then I think it could be my eyes playing tricks on me

I live in Scotland and I know I really do need to get something done about our finances. I'm dreading talking about it all again as that will really make me stressed out. But putting it out of my mind isnt helping either.

[kaliope]

putting it out of your mind is what is contributing to your stress/anxiety level. things will only continue to get worse if you do not deal with them. it really sounds like you are at a critical point here.

if you have a GP, you could consult with him/her about your anxiety. you dont necessarily have to tell about the voice/masked individual if you are uncomfortable with that but do state that the anxiety is out of control and interfering with your daily life and ask for a prescription for antianxiety medication to help you get thru and a recommendation for a therapist to gain some coping/stress management skills.

[naughty noo noo]

My doctor prescribed me Citalopram and Propanolol before but I don't think that helped me much. I wish I could just tell someone off load all my thoughts and that would be it.

Do you experience any random thoughts?

[kaliope]

Used to, but doing much better now on meds. Why dont you private message me. Go ahead and get it all out. I dont mind. Im here to listen.

[supraguy17]

I Have been dealing with allot of stress for many months now I was laid off from my job and went through my entire savings quickly and have ended up selling allot of my things just to make bills on time.My anxiety got really bad and it was difficult to even think about sitting through a interview or anything.In the meantime I was struggling to make my relationship work and I was afraid to tell her about everything that was going on.I find that my anxiety is at it's worst when I lay down for bed I sit there and think about every detail about the relationship and finances and it ends up being a whole mess of negative thoughts and doubts about everything in my life.So I can really relate to you and how it feels it is very difficult to pretend everything is fine when it is not even close to being fine. I don't really experience voices just a real whirlwind of negative thoughts that I get stuck on.

so you are not alone I think you would be surprised at how many people deal with anxiety.