[Krzysiek1992]

Hi
My name is Chris, and this year I'm finishing 20 years. I will present my problem as precisely as possible, because it is very unusual (I don't meet anybody with a problem like this), and I think some details can be very important:

The problem starts when staying in large spaces, such as auditoriums, church, etc. When there is starting an event in this place (for example: lecture, exam, etc.), and I begin to sit down together with the assembled people, nothing happens yet. The impression of feeling a large space raises some kind of the feeling of uncertainty, but in this moment I can looking on the other people around me, with great freedom (yet). But after a while (up to several minutes, or just when the event starts and the are silence - for example, on the lecture) there is a big problem. The impression of space is beginning to have an increasingly negative impact - I start to have seizures, I'm starting to be jittery, and - most importantly in this problem and the worst - I start getting to have a sort of "paralysis" neck. This causes that I start to (as if inadvertently) lift down my head. The whole situation escalates further, and being for some time in that body position, I'm not normally able to lift up my head as previously and look straight ahead instead of down. And when I try to lift my head, some kind of force "pulls" it down again. The whole situation can be a suprise in the audience, and I myself feel embarrassed and then enslaved by my own body, and I'm still waiting at the end of the event, when I will be able to leave the room. All this "embarrassment" is compounded by the fact that in such event, the large hall with the audience is quiet and focused, and you have to "sit" in one position to the end. In my opinion, the size of the audience affects this problem, because if the room will be perfectly empty, then this "paralysis" would not exist at all (although I am not entirely sure of this). But I know that this problem almost completely prevents to keep my attention in this big room during an event - it was particularly evident for me during the writing of examinations in a large hall. By the way, the two exams (these are the four-hour exams) "are waiting for me" on 18 and 20 June, and in such a large hall like this, in addition, I planned to study, hence it is obvious that this problem (maybe quite trivial - apparently), may limit me in the future. I write "apparently trivial", because that seemed to be trivial for the people from my family. Also, psychologists and psychiatrists, which I visited, they felt helpless in this matter, or simply, they were "changing the subject of a discussion" (the problem was not the only one for which I visited the doctors).

If anyone knows the problem and could advise me anything on this, any help would be appreciated, because I feel completely helpless. It seemed to me that the antidote to this problem should be a direct "encounter" with it, but every such attempt fails. This may also have an effect on my learning.

(By the way, the problem is not visible in the small, classic classrooms in the school)

Cheers

Chris

[kindachaotic]

Welcome to PC!! Really sorry you are struggling. I admire your efforts to stay in school with these issues.
There should be disability services for people who need to take test away from the large classroom. You will probably need some kind of paperwork from your T or pdoc for this.
If you don't mind me asking, have you seen a neurologist about these symptoms you speak of??
Don't know if this helps, just nice to know someone read your post.

Take care of yourself, don't give up.

[Krzysiek1992]

Hi, thanks for reply, I'm really grateful
No, I haven't sen neurologist. People around me with whom I spoke on this subject, trivialized this issue, regarding it as a simple phobia, which I must beat alone. In fact, only I did not rule out neurological issues in this problem (don't know If it is good). and my doctor, hearing about the problem, only directed me to a psychiatrist, who cannot help me anyway.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I can't 100% relate but lately I've had two seizures. These seizures, according to my therapist are a result of high anxiety and possibly connected with another diagnosis of me. None the less I was in quite a conundrum. I had such an intense fear of having another seizure it was putting me on the edge to have another seizure. I would get so worried, every small sign of dizziness, any time my blood pressure would drop, even when I would start to nod off to sleep I would have severe anxiety because I was terrified I would have another seizure.

If this problem is related to anxiety, I know it's hard I really do. But you have to find a way to distract yourself from the fear of being there. When you feel like you are starting to panic, get up and walk away for a minute to clear your head, draw a picture, day dream about something nice, just get the focus off of what you know/think will happen. It's so hard though. You're told you are having these problems because of your anxiety, but these problems are causing you anxiety. It's all messed up, but there is a way to get better. Just hang in there and don't let it get to you!

[Krzysiek1992]

So, basically you're right, this is the way to be able to get away with thoughts from the fear. But not always it can be done. The situation is a little bit better when the event which is in a large hall, does not require so much concentration. But as I wrote, soon I've an important exam at the end of my vocational high school, and it requires from me during this exam to keep my head free from bad thoughts, any anxiety and fears. No way, about getting out of place, unfortunately, because at this time I lose my exam. Also too long trying to "relax" during a panic cannot occur, because I must act quickly and try to break the barrier with my fear thoughts (beat them) to find the free way to think about the content of the exam test. And on that battle I always lose...