Phone/voicemail/email anxiety

I am so scared of my phone! I haven't checked my voicemail for 8 months. I am planning to send job applications this week, so I need to clear my old ones and be able to check new ones. I am completely terrified.

I have social phobia and feel so guilty for the times when I don't respond to calls or emails out of fear. The guilt/shame keeps me from wanting to face the evidence of it, and it builds up over time. So I just pretend it isn't there; but it lurks in the back of my mind and feels awful.

I find email equally scary. So many people wanting responses. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. I did manage to send emails to my references last week. It took 3 months of working on my mh issues to do it. I got responses right away, and it made me feel worse. Positive attention is sometimes even scarier than the disapproval I'm so afraid of facing all the time!

I feel so inept. I'm hoping that writing this out is a first step in facing those voicemails. Recordings can't really hurt me. I guess I'm afraid there will be bad news I can't handle, or I'll find out I failed at some social obligation. But ignoring the voicemail won't make problems stop.

I don't have a problem making professional calls, even if I'm sometimes awkward. But personal calls--just nope. Can't think if it.

I wish my brain didn't make the simplest things so painful. Every time my inbox crosses my mind I feel sick and terrified. Ugh.

I can sympathize.

I have a profound anxiety when I need to call (especially call!) or email someone asking them for something. In school, I actually got in a lot of trouble because I was afraid to email in advance when I needed to be somewhere else that day. Currently, I'm horrified of sending emails to references myself to ask them for their help.

with me, i find with emails... i always come across more desperate than i actually am.

i'm so anxious to say what i need to say- that i end up writing a total mess (half of the email not what i was meaning to say) and i don't usually get a response- because the other person i'm writing too is totally confused
with the phone, this is no joke... i can't even hold the recever in my hand- i can check voicemails on the anser phone, but if it comes to using it myself to call someone then i can't.

I just checked my voicemails from an old friend that he left in June and August. I just wanted to avoid everything as I sink into another depression. You're not alone - congratulations on applying for jobs...I'm not ready yet.

Thanks so much for the responses! I'm sorry that other people have similar issues, but hearing about it helps me with my social phobia. My brain tells me I'm the only person who's scared of these things, and then it tells me that I'm too broken to overcome it.

Sorry I didn't respond earlier. I got phobic about PC for a while again. Hoping to get back on the facing-things wagon.

Finally erased the voicemails yesterday. Now I still have to apply for jobs. Maybe the panic from running out of money will overcome my anxiety about speaking to people? I can usually come through in a crisis.

I do so much better when I have a regular schedule. The unknown trips me out. But I have to face the unknown to get a job and have a regular schedule. It's so overwhelming! Ahh! Feels better to vent; thanks!!!

((((orange)))) Im glad that you were able to get back to PC. Know that you can always come here to vent or talk

I really hope that you dont get to the point where its between talking to ppl or running out of money. that sounds really stressful, and I know you will be happier in the long run if you can avoid that and just gut it out. Sometimes, you just have to stop thinking and do the old nike "just do it".

After you brush your teeth in the morning, check your VM. Delete messages regularly.

It may sound strange but thank you for this post. I thought it was just me.
I have this same issue. My phone has been off for months. I do not use my Skype either....I get very anxious. I want to use it more because I want to see my son and Grand daughter (They are in Hawaii and I am in the mid-west)...I am just afraid of... I do not know what. Phones really are bad for me. All I have is my work phone. I want to be left alone I guess because I do not feel good...high anxiety and it "hurts".

I found the only way to stop getting scared of the phone was to force myself to use it, no matter what...the more calls I made, the less bad it got. Still can't make answerphone messages though. Good luck with the job hunt.

I do this to! I sometimes wait two or three months before I check my voice mail. Then, I just delete all the messages from familiar voices, because I figure that I've already talked to all of them.

I like the idea of checking your messages, every day. However, for me, it is easier to do things that I dread before bed. I'm kind of OCD, so I have a hard time going to sleep if I don't have everything done.

I also agree that with desensitization, these things usually get better!

Thanks so much for this post. I, too, worked on emailing my references for about 6 months. When I finally did it, I didn't check their responses for a month. Needless to say I couldn't use them for the job I was considering at the time because of my anxiety. wtf.

I also take phone and email breaks that sometimes last for months. Recently I've managed to go no longer than 12 or 15 days. And I never check my voicemail.