[xrainstormx]

I am scared every second of the day. I am scared of my parents. What bad thing will they say or do next? My friends, I am scared they will get mad if I don't let them use me. I am scared of myselfe. I always think and worry way to much. This brings so much anxiety. I am typing about this stuff and I am shaking, it is hard to deal with. I don't want to be like this.

[lostone]

Hang in there... I know its hard right now but things can get better. Are you on any medicines for anxiety right now?
I take ATIVAN,, and it is my best friend,,lol.

I am here if you need to talk, or just vent, pm me if you need.

SMILE...

Hi there. How old are you? Can you not move away from home? Get a job elsewhere? Are you seeing someone (professional)? The environment you are in will only have a deleterious effect on your psyche and emotional well-being. You should get out if you can.

[xrainstormx]

I am on lexapro and stratara ( I think I spelled that wrong ) I can't change because of my parents and what I am on doesn't work.

[xrainstormx]

I am 18 years old. It I moved away my parents can screw me over with money. They would do that too. I am trapped. That is scary.

[Rhapsody]

Dear xRainstormx -

From my POV and experience you cannot change as of yet nor are the medicines working, for you still have to many unresolved wounds running around inside of you.... your inner energy is stuck on hurt, therefore, you cannot start to heal.

........................................................ Does that make sense?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

My best BOOK that I like to recommend to others in situations like you are having is:
Feeling Buried Alive Never Die (by: Karol Truman)

LINK: http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/bo...pid=0911207023

i'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. it's hard to feel trapped and also to not feel supported or understood by one's parents.

is there anyone, at all, that you can talk to IRL? a counselor at school? anyone?

if you will, please keep posting, we'll do all we can to help you. xoxoxo pat

[xrainstormx]

That does make sense but how do I resolve those problems.

[xrainstormx]

Thank you, I appreicate that. I have a doctor and great boyfriend. That isn't helping. Nothing will.

[(JD)]

Grrrr wishing you better feelings! How long have you been on the dose level of your meds? You can always call and go in to see the MD that prescribes them..or leave a message saying they aren't helping... I'm sure if a doctor prescribed them, they know how much you are suffering...and want to help you.

[xrainstormx]

Certain things can't be done because of the situtation I am in. My doctor knows that.

[niko851]

<font color="#000088">This so sounds like my own life repeating itself.... I found out that my own mother, when I was between the ages of 14-18, was tapping into my trust account that was SUPPOSED to be locked-down until I turned 18. My grandfather left me that - to get a house, go to college, and whatever else I desired - but the house and all that had to wait until I successfully completed the first year of college... Found out my mother had been using the 'emergency' clause in the contract w/the bank - and was producing fraudulent medical bills for me in order to take out money. I'm 28 now, 2 years ago my grandma passed away, and I found HUNDREDS of cancelled checks for house pyaments, car payments, you name it.... I know EXACTLY what you are going through in re: Parents screwing their kid over...

I am literally homebound myself. I am afraid of even breathing at times... I haven't even been on this forum in weeks bcuz I fear and flip out that someone is going to be able to see this that I don't want to. No matter what I do, no matter how much medication I take, I have VERY FEW days of relief... I'd much rather be doped up every second of my life than to have to even think about making a decision - I just can't do it....

Also, and no discouragement intended, but ALL of us know that these medication cocktails take time and trials. At least with my bi-polar side, I have not been having as many highs/lows; so there is some progress for me - but this took over 4 months and several differnt drugs... The only thing that keeps me 1/4 calm is my xanax; there is nothing else out there that will knock the jitters out of me like that will... I also could care less if anyone, including my Pdoc, et.al. consider me addicted; you're damn right I am and that is what the stuff is made for. Now if I were taking 30 a day, that would be a problem... That's not the case...

Do me a favour - talk to your Pdoc about getting on Xanax or Valium or something in the Benzo family so you can at least get SOME relief while the others' start to work or are being worked on. From the sounds of the posts, your doc seems pretty receptive and I can't see why he/she wouldn't do this - I'm actually wondering why he/she hasn't done it already... Whatever you do, and i know this is only words and it is hard, just do your best. Don't over-do it, don't get upset, just take it a moment at a time... That's all I can do - and the rest can just wait....

If you need to talk one on one, feel free to write anytime. We're all here for one another - always remember that
Niko </font>

[xrainstormx]

My parents won't let me switch medicines.