stuck in a hopeless situation

Hi, I am posting here to get out some feelings. Perhaps someone might have a few suggestions. For the last years I have been suffering from terribly high anxiety (agoraphobia), which made it impossible for me to work or lead a normal life. I've tried to get better on my own at first, but gradually the anxiety grew stronger and none of my coping techniques worked. ( I tried klonazepam, ativan, xanax, two ADs, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, breathing techniques, meditation, mindfulness, vitamins & supplements, exercising..)
I lost one part after another of my life. Most friends were gone, my job offers had to be cancelled, plans had to be postponed and so on. I had never experienced that kind of loneliness in my life before..The world around me just wasn't the same anymore. I drifted into depression, but right now I'm doing ok. I learned important lessons during the last turbulent years and I'm trying to be more accepting of myself, as well as see things in perspective. When things get very bad I remind myself it will pass and I try to keep my spirits up. It isn't always that simple but I have no choice but to try moving forward. There is also someone special in my life whom I trust and who makes this life seem less miserable. The problem is that I still haven't figured out a long-term solution for dealing with the anxiety. I would like to try out an impatient program but I don't have the financial means. There is no state funded program as far as I found out through my research. The only thing I could do for free is a group therapy in my city, but my anxiety is too high for me to do that. Another difficulty for me is that everyone around me is skeptical toward mental illnesses and questions my honesty. Being called a liar, lazy and worse things add to the problems I have and push me into desperation.
I personally feel like my next step should be to find a medication that lowers my anxiety. After that I would like to start working again, in order to regain my independence. Then my plan is to move away to another country (which was my original plan before anxiety started). I am hoping to find a way to make some money to buy medication that would work for me. I have tried to sell things online but haven't made any money yet.
I hope that the post was more or less coherent. I might have to edit it once my brainfog goes away. Thank you for reading.

hi.
im sorry ur having a hard time and its great that u have set goals for urself that always helps me. it might take a little time to get over these anxietys. but practice practice practice. start small. like going to a park then build ur way up to more crowded place but dont overwhelm urself cause that could make things worse. like i said start small to build ur confidence. i believe u can do anything u set ur mind too. good luck!

I don't believe any situation is really hopeless, although I felt that way at one time. Twelve years ago I was very far down in the pits of anxiety/depression and thought seriously of suicide. I quit work which did not help my anxiety and wrecked my self-esteem. My husand and family were fairly sick of my and my issues and looking back, I can't say I blamed them. In desparation, I drove myself to a psych hospital but they would not admit me.

It was then that I decided I would go to any length to get better. I took medication for a time, got counseling and joined a support group (very helpful) which I still attend. I learned about anxiety, mostly how to get better. I got a mentor in the group and she is still in my life. Finally, I went back to work and I am at the same job today (my first morning back to work I threw up, then went it. It was very hard). I also now travel, have friends, etc.

None of this was easy but what I learned was that dealing with anxiety is a paradox - I couldn't wait until the anxiety improved to take action to heal - I had to take action and have faith that the healing would follow. It did. And even my family couldn't get me well - it was up to me.

I still have issues with anxiety and some depression but it is nothing like it was. I am living life with anxiety and that is good enough today.

Anxiety is a really tough thing to cope with. (Worse than depression IMO.) Sounds like you've tried meds with disappointing results. That was my experience too. (Benzo's, Neurontin) Having someone you trust in your life is huge. Tha's really good.

I think meaningful interaction with other people is one of the best things to quell anxiety. That can be hard to manage when social interaction is, itself, a cause of anxiety. Probably the unhelpful skepticism of those close to you has undermined your ability to have supportive relationships. It's a shame that some people are so ignorant about mental challenges. Unfortunately, they probably won't change. You just have to be careful who you confide things to. I've had to learn to not give judgemental people ammunition to use against me. Meanwhile, keep alert to chances to know people who are more enlightened. PC is a good place to come, in that respect. I hope you find a foothold in your struggle. Keep trying to do things that seem hard to do.

I hate ur going through this. If ur going to a GP/PCP, I encourage you to see a psychotherapist. Talk therapy might me a good option.

I have this same problem and am sinking back into it after I thought I was making progress. From here I have no idea. Take care.

I'm going to try to read between the lines here so sorry if I assume wrong.
I'm guessing that you had to move back home and your parents do not believe that you have a psychological/emotional problem?
And they are completely unsupportive in any way that would help you get better?
They probably even make things worse.
I'm also guessing that you are downplaying the seriousness of your situation... maybe a lot?
Finding the right med/therapy can be very difficult and very frustrating. Finding a good doctor/therapist is like searching for the grail.
Your English is very good... are you in the US? I'm guessing you aren't in the UK or Canada because they have a somewhat better health care system as far as accessibility without financial means.

thanks to all of you for answering and offering me your advice. It gives me a little hope when I hear that some people have been in an equally difficult situation at a point in their lives but are now able to live a somewhat normal life. Im hoping to get there too although I assume I will always have anx in my life to some degree.
george h, your assumptions are all correct. I shouldnt downplay it, but I didnt want to over dramatize it either. Fact is that there are difficulties in finding help; financial and personal ones. Living home is hard, because of conflicting beliefs of what is the right approach for my problems. I dont want to stay home anymore..Its making things worse but I cant just run away either..Or have you seen many agoraphobic runaways

Not many runaway agoraphobics I'm thinking
It sounds like you're a long way from over dramatizing your situation. Anxiety is part of life it's true. It can even be beneficial but it sounds like yours is very bad.
None of the meds helped at all?
So what part of the world are you living in? Maybe someone knows the system there and can give you some advice on where to find help.

i'm living in western europe. if someone knows anything that might help, i would be grateful for any advice, preferable via pm, as I would rather not disclose my exact location on here. thanks everyone..it means very much to me to have received so much supportive feedback here.

Iam not an expert so i can only talk from my own experiences, 12 or 13 years ago , there is no way i will go out side from my home without someone closed..but today i can go anywhere wherever i wanted to do all by myself and use public transportation whatever i want ..iam not saying theres hope but i think your situation can be change with times and practices and lots of patience .
with me what make it works is i faced my fears , i made myself went to the cinema where all people are either with their friends or couple and families and iam the only person who was there all by myself, it was so scary but it was feeling good afterwards, and theres so many timed i made my self went to public place all by myself until i feel okay with that , but i do made a plan and small steps in the beginning ,i.e if i need to go to supermarket i will go early inthe morning coz not so much people there yet and park my car to the nearest entrance as possible and after i comfortable with the place next time i will increase the challenges.. but i do realized that everything works differently for everyone tho, so what might works for me not works for you but maybe its worth to try ...

Hope you can get out from your unfortunate situation soon

Thank you puffyprue for sharing. You were courageous to put yourself in these scary situations all by yourself and it paid off in the end.

It sounds like you really need to find a way out of this situation with your parents. I'm sorry but it really sounds like they are only making it worse.

That is true..I really need to find a solution soon. The centre I contacted today cannot offer me any space anytime soon so my only choice seems to be to keep trying to get better with the help I have. I have been trying that for a while though and things only worsened. The centre I called for therapy sessions tried to convince me that my situation wasn't as bad and I should just rest and take it easy. I had to insist on an appointment. I wonder how the person could suggest these things after I explained how incapacitating my problems have been for years? I think it's irresponsible to tell someone who has just poured their heart out that it isn't as bad is it seems. It makes no sense from a financial point of view either to push a prospective client away. I wasn't offered any alternative either and although the person was very kind and wished me all the best, I felt left alone. I was hoping for at least group therapy or anything really. Still better than another centre I called last year, where the person on the other line insinuated that my problems stemmed from drug use

Wow... I wonder what they consider serious. That would make me question the quality of care... or the competence of this facility.

Chocmouse, You can get through this with the help of others especially if you can find a doc and T. I suffered from anxiety disorders my whole life, and just this past year i have come a long way with a med change, a new doc who is amazing, and T too who is wonderful. Just keep looking if you can get help to afford it.

But you see the thing is that she doesn't have the help of others, can't find a doc, and can't afford the help she needs even if she could find it. Hence this thread looking for new ideas.

It's how it is. Of course it would be great if I - and everyone else in a similar situation- could find an affordable and helpful solution, so that living a normal life won't remain just a dream, but I realize that I can't expect the doctors and hospitals to save me. Sometimes it feels a bit bitter how some doctors talk to me..I wonder if they would behave the same way if it was their child/friend/sibling etc. struggling from an mi. But in the end everyone is just doing their jobs. I have to fight harder somehow.
I also know that everyone else is struggling with their own problems, so i really appreciated every advice I received here.

You do have to fight hard and do your part... the problem seems to be that you're getting no help from doctors or hospitals or the people in your real life.
Sometimes that help is necessary.