[thunderbear]

My husbands Crohns started flaring up Sunday. He went to th Er to get pain relief and he didnt get any though. Monday he tried to shoot himself. I had the gun taken away. I have to hide my flexeril from him because Im afraid he'll try to OD. I cant leave him alone at all. I went 2 miles up the road to buy his probiotics, he was asleep when I left. I was only gone 10 minutes and when I came home he was no where to be found. I freaked out scared to death of what I would find. He was in.the bathroom. Doing nothing but using the bathroom. Earlier, we went to a new Gp trying to get relief from his pain. And the doc asked my husband if he had ever been tested for Hiv. Of course, my obsessive tjinking/phobias began. My husband said yes everytime we went to a new doc they tested him. The doc said well its cause youre thin. (he has Crohns!!! Of course hes thin!!). Anyway, my husbands self esteem went from low to non existant. H told me on the way there that this doc was going to be the last shot. If he didmt help him, he would, you know. Cause he was tired of living in pain. Well, on the way home, he was going off about this doctor and this new law (going by the new law, abdominal pain does not qualify you for narcotic pain medicine). Then he started crying saying he must look awful cause the doc asked him about Hiv. (Im still trippin over that one) then he started purposefully swerving into oncoming traffic. I was, by then, hyperventelating. He pulled over on this curvy desolate highway and told me to get out. I wouldnt. But he straightend himself out. We got home and I threw up in the car and driveway. And I havent been right since. But I have to look after him. Hes been saying "g-damn this g-damn that, I hate my g-damned life" He NEVER says that. Ever but he said God damned him with Crohns. So hes mad at Her/Him. Then he goes from g-damning everything to crying. To not speaking at all. I told this new Gp about it but he brushed it off. I actually started crying and said "Hes suicidal! Do something to help him!" I yelled it. But the doc didnt say or do anything!!! And now Im left with my obsessive phobia, my husbands nervous breakdown & his family is being awful and sh**ty about it. His great aunt told him in a snotty tone "I heard about your little stunt. If your gramdmother dies from this itll be your fault". She said that about his S attempt! Im just so messed up right now. I feel so overwhelmed. But I have no one Irl to talk about it to. No one knows about my phobia except my Bff and hes Hiv+ I talked a little about it and he told me I dont have it and gave me some really great advice but I didnt want to talk too much about it with him cause he actually has Hiv and I thought it would be rude.
Thanks for reading. Im not making much sense and my mind is racing. I hope some of my Pc friends has advice.

[Jolisse]

Your husband needs help now, his behavior is irrational and dangerous.
Is there a pdoc you can take him to?

[7Cups_Ann]

It really sounds like you've got such a complicated situation, Your husband seems to be in incredible pain; pain that severe can affect other parts of his well being, as you've experienced.

It also sounds like you've been struggling with your own emotions about the situation as he goes through it. I can only imagine what it's like to be with someone who has daily pain. You're caring for him, but you also need to care for yourself.

Happy to be a shoulder or lend an ear if you'd like.

[thunderbear]

I know, Jolisse. This time last year, he got like this and I begged him.to go see my pdoc cause my pdoc specialzes in illness related depression and had treated many Crohns patients. But H thinks psychotherapy is ridiculous. He thinks paying someone to "listen to your problems" is ridiculous. Ive tried telling him that its much more than that. But he doesnt listen or understand. He seen a new GI today. This new one didnt do anything. No labs no imagimg no meds. He just said "It sounds like intestinal scar tissue is causing malabsorbtion" & I agree. So when we got home I told H I wanted him.on EN (basically a liquid diet taked orally or intravenously) cause his intestines needed rest. His exact words were "F**k you and your g-d Ensure". Ive never heard him use such foul language. Hes usually the one getting on me and my habit of dropping F-bombs in every sentence.
He is refusing to take his antibiotic (Flagyl) & his anti-spamatoic (Bentyl). He says he just wants to die. A good family friend of ours died from Crohns. She had no ins for meds andgot down to 80-85 lbs from malabsorbtion and due to that, she had a massive heart attack. She was only 44 years old. Im afraid the same thing will happen to my H. I am beyond frustrated. My stress is causing me to have 3 periods in a 34 day cycle. I havent had a BM in almost a week. I throw up from anxiety every day. Im broke out in hives and eczema. I have been chain smoking. Im iritable as hell. Im at the end of my rope with him. He doesnt care what his attitude is doing to me or his son. Our son has been spending all his time next door at my in laws cause he cant stand the way his dad is acting. Its awful here right now!!

[not quite right]

IfMy best advice is to take him to the emergency room & tell them he is suicidal. They HAVE to put him under 72 observation & maybe they can figure out how to help him. Also, you need to make sure you're taking care of you. if you're not well you can't help him. We're all behind you so I hope you keep us posted on how things are. Positive thoughts for you both.

[thunderbear]

Thanks, Ann & not quite right.
He will not go to an Er. I cant get him to do anything proactive about his health. 10 minutes ago, he woke up cussing and carrying on. I wish he'd go back to sleep. Hes mad cause I want him to take his medicine. Bentyl gives him diarreah but it helps his pain. I just dont know. Ive been sitting here crying because he is being so damned hateful. I want to go to my dad's house for a few days, but Im afraid to leave him alone.

[Redsoft]

Originally Posted by not quite right

IfMy best advice is to take him to the emergency room & tell them he is suicidal. They HAVE to put him under 72 observation & maybe they can figure out how to help him. Also, you need to make sure you're taking care of you. if you're not well you can't help him. We're all behind you so I hope you keep us posted on how things are. Positive thoughts for you both.

These were my thoughts. He is a risk to himself having previous tried to commit suicide, and a risk to you - he tried to swerve into oncoming traffic (that's a suicide attempt in itself) and you were in the car when he tried. Your son likely feels at risk, too, at least mentally, otherwise he wouldn't be elsewhere. I'm sorry your family is being so difficult and unsupportive/unhelpful- what terrible things they have said.

He is not thinking clearly, likely because of pain and his body not getting the sustenance it needs, and he sounds severely depressed. He is not thinking clearly at ALL - his irrational or uneducated opinions on psychotherapy and the ER are moot now.

It doesn't matter if he WANTS to go to the ER or not. From what you've posted, he NEEDS to. Call an ambulance if you need to. If he can't get sustenance, is severely depressed, is suicidal, and is a risk to you (he disregarded your safety in the car because of his state of mind), he needs to be hospitalized. If it were me, I would do whatever it took to get him there. Your body can't take much more of this either, it sounds like. You've been caring for him and caring for him, and it's gotten to a point where you can't anymore, and that's not your fault, that's the nature of the situation. He NEEDS medical attention. If you have to have him committed to save him, do it. It may be the tough love he needs to find his right direction.

[thunderbear]

Thanks you all. I have a tendency of pulling myself together just long enough. I dont know how I do it but I do. I actually drove for the first time in two years the other day to go get him some probiotic pills. I also got him so pot from my cousin (I know. Illegal. But it helped so much). I put him on a liquid diet even though he didnt want to, I made him. That was yesterday. He also smoked some pot and took 2 probiotic pills and he woke up today painfree. He also has no diarrhea. Its a complete 180°. I hope this lasys long enough for him to gain some weight and feel better about himself. Im keeping him on EN (liquid diet) for a few more days then Im going to introduce soft foods like applesauce. The GI told him yesterday that he believes H has scar tissue from previous Crohns flares and it is causimg the severe pain and diarrhea. The CT will tell. He goes back next month and ifit is scar tissue, then he will need some intestines removed or stretched. But right now, today, he is 100% better. No suicidal talk hes not in pain and he has some color to his face. He looks like he feels good. Im still keeping an eye on him though.