I have had enough!

Hello everyone,

I'm so sick of feeling anxious all the time. I have generalised anxiety disorder. Been like this for about a year and a half now.

I mainly worry about being poisoned; so I'm constantly wiping my mouth or worrying that I'm breathing in fumes of chemicals that could kill me. I wash my hands a lot. I worry when I walk past people who are coughing, I worry when trees blow pollen in case it's poisonous to me. I have dyed hair and it's a real struggle to dye it, I try to leave it as long as possible in case I have become allergic to it, then I usually have a panic attack and have to wash it off quickly. I can't stroke my cats any more. There's so much...

I can't take medication; I'm terrified of side effects or allergic reaction.

I have started to worry that food and water could be tainted. I'm trying to deal with that, I don't want to become one of these people who won't eat or drink anything without having a panic attack.

I had a real problem with panic attacks earlier in the year. That's eased off slightly. But I still get out of breath a lot. I'm out of breath as I'm typing this.

I really want this to stop and I don't understand why I can't just control my own mind. Part of me thinks it would be better to just die. But it's the one thing I'm terrified of. I used to be really carefree, fun and spontaneous. I'm nothing like I used to be. I try to hide my anxiety from people now as I feel stupid, nobody understands if I do talk to them about it, they don't know what to say. I'm always on edge.

Someone help me please.

The first step to conquering this is acknowledging that one of the fears you will have to go against is the fear of treatment because you know logically that you need some help. Without treatment, this will not get any better. You need medical, professional help to get your fears and anxiety under enough control so that you can learn to take control of everyday anxiety and phobia attacks for yourself. Until you accept that professional treatment must be accepted for your own well being, you will continue to allow the fears to take over your life. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and I kept myself in a box for many years and I was making my own life "safe" but miserable. I had to face my anxiety triggers, accept help, and learn to stop seeing myself as a victim from all angles. Once I finally began to see that I had the power of decision and choice of whether it would tell me how to live my life or I would decide to make life better, I took some of the power back from my fears. Good Luck

Hi, it's nice to meet you. I hope you find support, friendship, and insight here.
I have had a lot of experience with anxiety, particularly GAD or free floating anxiety as one doc called it. I understand that when there is no obvious reason for anxiety that the mind will assign a cause. I'm not a professional but your experience sounds like more than or different from generalized anxiety. Have you had an evaluation or do you see a psychiatrist or therapist? This just sounds like more than generalized anxiety.

Yes, I agree with George (in my welcome too :-) I would go see a doctor; it sounds like you could be developing a phobic obsessive disorder of sorts, fear of germs, etc.; still an anxiety disorder but might be treated differently than just general anxiety.

Hello,

Thanks for the replies I appreciate them. I was diagnosed with gad last year and was given 6 sessions of counselling for anxiety.

I have had problems since I was about 12 with my emotions. A few therapists in the last few years have spoken about the possibility of borderline personality disorder. But the mental health services in my area are so bad, my mum's a schizophrenic and she had a breakdown for like a year and nobody helped her.

I think what you said about some sort of phobia or something might be right. I have made an appointment to go back to group therapy for anxiety. And I asked my doctor to refer me to a psychiatrist to pursue the personality disorder issue that my previous therapist have spoken about.

I'm feeling okay today, actually a good day! First time in a long time. Haven't left my room though, so I don't know if that's why haha.

Thanks again guys