[Melmo]

I find myself feeling nauseous when I get to work or on my way to work, because of my manager. She is almost always in a bad mood and she takes it out on everyone, especially me I find, maybe that's jut because
I'm overly sensitive. I always feel stupid because of comments she makes and I'm starting to understand that I shouldn't take things so personally because she's the one with the problem, not me but it still causes so much anxiety . She puts me down all the time, in front of customers and co workers.
A few questions, is shaky hands a sign of anxiety? An how do you settle you're stomach when you're nauseous due to anxiety?

[Little Lulu]

Shaky hands can be anxiety related. As for the upset stomach, you could try over-the-counter Ranitidine (Zantac) which suppresses aicd production in the stomach. Sucking on hard candy might help calm your stomach, also.

Even though you recognize that you are overly sensitive, your boss sounds toxic. I had a boss like that years ago and the best thing I did was find a new job where the environment was more supportive and nurturing. I flourished there.

[Melmo]

I have been looking for a new job but I cant seem to leave. Plus I hate starting over in a new job , I have social anxiety so meeting new people causes more anxiety so I guess I feel trapped at my job because its familiar and comfortable, where as if I start a new job , I feel stupid if I don't learn fast enough and hate not knowing how to do my job. I know I'll always be unhappy if I don't get out but I any seem to make myself do it

[Little Lulu]

Keep seeking ... the answers will come. All you have to do is stay on the path. At least that has been my experience.

[oliamble]

So sad to hear this is happening at work justwantobenormal and specially with a supervisor who is supposed to be trained well on how to treat employees, conflict-resolution issues and not to cross the line, but of course I'm assuming he or she is a undimesticated animal wearing a human holloween custome with the brain the size of a dinosaur.

I remember when I used to get so mistreated for many years by a similar person just like you are now until I was finally able to ask for a transfer. This lady used to make my life miserable every single day at my job, I couldn't snap b:c I would have lost my job (she was a supervisor too), but eventually as time passed I got my transfer approved and things settled.

I hope you are able to find a new job or perhaps you can ask for a transfer in the pretext that another location is best fit close for either your kids to be dropped off or picked up at school or some other reason you can put on the petition. Another thing, would be to have a talk with this bastard face to face and tell her or him that "it" should not and has no right to marginalize you specially in front of customers and that you would put a complaint to human resources. I hate when people like this with a little bit of power come to abuse others.

Please feel free to PM me and we can even put a complaint letter together against this bastard. Take care ok.

[gnat]

Yes and yes.

I still am at a loss with the shakiness, but have learned several tricks for the nausea. The best one of all is ranitidine which is an over the counter medications that shuts downs some of the production of stomach acid. This is very different from a product like Tums which neutralizes stomach acid (and in my case does no more than produce fruity flavored vomit). I also drink tea and avoid grease or salty goods. For me dairy helps soothe the stomach, but for some people it makes it worse. Pay attention to what you eat and see what bothers you most. Of course, working on the anxiety would help too, but I find it much easier to pop some pills and monitory diet than reduce my anxiety.

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

I find myself feeling nauseous when I get to work or on my way to work, because of my manager. She is almost always in a bad mood and she takes it out on everyone, especially me I find, maybe that's jut because
I'm overly sensitive. I always feel stupid because of comments she makes and I'm starting to understand that I shouldn't take things so personally because she's the one with the problem, not me but it still causes so much anxiety . She puts me down all the time, in front of customers and co workers.
A few questions, is shaky hands a sign of anxiety? An how do you settle you're stomach when you're nauseous due to anxiety?

Your boss is a complete idiot and should not be in a leadership role at all. In fact I think she needs to be in therapy! Here's the real dope about your situation. Your boss has problems but is smart enough to recognize people she considers weaker then herself and she then lashes out to them. She is actually a coward because people like that rarely lash out at people they consider stronger then them. You are no doubt nervous around her. That is anxiety. You should not have to feel like your walking on egg shells around her. You need to speak up to her. Don't let her authority intimidate you. You still deserve the right to be treated fairly and she needs to be reminded of that. That would be a big step for you but if you simply told her you do not appreciate being treated like that she will probably stop! Because most bully's and that's all she is a bully, most only bully those they can get away with it. As long as you express yourself in a non-threatening or offensive way she can not fire you. And if she does (which I doubt) you have a good case! Your other option is find another job but your gonna discover there are people like her every where so you might as well learn how to deal with them now. Good luck!

[oliamble]

I agree with you IndieVisible, this boss of her is a bully, she is a psychopathic bully, they tell off people in order to feel good about themselves b:c deep inside they have a very low self-esteem and they feel the only way to feel good/competent about themselves it is to humiliate others (specially when these type of bullies are in leadership positions). I'm very sorry IwantobeNormal you are going through this situation at work and facing this brainless monster.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by oliamble

I agree with you IndieVisible, this boss of her is a bully, she is a psychopathic bully, they tell off people in order to feel good about themselves b:c deep inside they have a very low self-esteem and they feel the only way to feel good/competent about themselves it is to humiliate others (specially when these type of bullies are in leadership positions). I'm very sorry IwantobeNormal you are going through this situation at work and facing this brainless monster.

I just had lunch with one of my coworkers and we were talking about our manager . She said she's noticed she's worse with me than everyone else and it seems like she's picking on me. Another coworker awhile back told me she cant believe how she talks to me at times. This proves its not just me being overly sensitive, other people see it too.

[oliamble]

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

I just had lunch with one of my coworkers and we were talking about our manager . She said she's noticed she's worse with me than everyone else and it seems like she's picking on me. Another coworker awhile back told me she cant believe how she talks to me at times. This proves its not just me being overly sensitive, other people see it too.

Yes she's a bully. Stand up for your selfs against that bastard. And this hasn't much to do with suffering with anxiety or anything like that, you are under stress and just like any other human being you are reacting to this person's attacks and harassments. For some reason she doesn't seem to like you. Hang in there.

[oliamble]

How was the rear of your day today? Did this person keep bothering you.

[Melmo]

I only had a 3 hour shift today thank god, but within 5 minutes of being there I was ready to leave. She basically barked orders at me like do this, do that etc before I could get a chance to do it. She would come over and do something for me as if I was being too slow and she needed to do it. She was pretty much on my *** the whole time about something or other, as usual.
I had a dr appt today and my dr upped my Celexa to 30mg a day, so hopefully that will help but he also wrote me a note saying he reccommends I quit, so I am going to the unemployment office soon to see if they can help me find a job that I would be better suited for.

[oliamble]

I'm sorry this is happening justwantobenormal. This person is getting up on your anxiety. Don't think that medication alone will fix all. You also need psychological therapy, psych defense tactics to train your brain to be strong. I watched a video on you tube that says a medicine will only help you to deal with the problem you are facing, but ultimately you say to your self, "this is me, this is my self esteem, I have to stand up for my self, for my rights" and so on, you train your mind to this and it will help you a lot. This person has no idea the psychological wreckage she's leaving on you, this bully wish I had her in front of my face to tell her off.

I recommend for you to read this book from author Emund J Bourne, Ph D called "Beyond Anxiety & Phobia" dealing with cognitive-behavioral therapy. Page72 reads "you stand up for your basic rights. You ask for what you want and you say "no" to what you don't want. Self-trust means you trust your body, feelings, and behavior."

So even if you don't get to the unemployment stage or quiting stage, you tell her w/o snapping and with a firm tone "you can't treat me like this, I have rights as an employee". I feel harasses by the way you approach me and single me out in every moment you have an opportunity to do so" and either call that brainless cow into her own office or tell her that with a very firm defiant tone. Do not snap, do not create a show (that is what these animals want you to do so they can have a better excuse to write you up or fire you).

Pick up on your self-esteem, don't be afraid in any way to face these type of people in your life. And I'm very sure all symptoms you have are a normal reaction to negative stimulus caused by these types of situations. I'm sure you can recover from this like I have in the past and overcome your demons like I have. Please keep us all posted ok. God bless you.

Ps: bullies I hate bullies, I detest them.

[oliamble]

Hello iwantobenormal, how are things going at work and how?

[Melmo]

The past few days have been a little better, my boss hasn't been as bad. Hopefully it'll last but I doubt it :/

[oliamble]

I'm happy for you. Maybe is a temporary thing, maybe not. Of course we all wish for it to be a permanent thing. I hope whatever demons are bothering that person for it to desist. Please keep us posted. In the meantime keep working on alternatives.

[stephybee]

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

I have been looking for a new job but I cant seem to leave. Plus I hate starting over in a new job , I have social anxiety so meeting new people causes more anxiety so I guess I feel trapped at my job because its familiar and comfortable, where as if I start a new job , I feel stupid if I don't learn fast enough and hate not knowing how to do my job. I know I'll always be unhappy if I don't get out but I any seem to make myself do it

oh wow! i have so much social anxiety that i feel stuck at at job that makes me miserable. this is EXACTLY what i am going through. i know it sounds terrible in a way but.... its nice to know that other people in the world have these same fears, i feel so alone about them and everytime i try to explain to people what its like, thye just dont get it!..

I had the same thing with my supervisor back when I was employed, who liked to pretend she had powers she did not and also gravitated between trying to be my best friend and also give me more hell than anyone else...although she gave EVERYONE hell. So I am very sorry a similar thing is happening to you. I know how anxiety-producing these kind of relationships can be; every morning was some kind of anxiety attack and I had issues getting there on time (which was no help to myself since she was always watching my desk.) Anyway, I don't have a great answer for you here...I hate getting a new job and having to learn everything all over again so I know how miserable that is too. I hope things stay better for you.
Edit: I meant to add that yes, shaky hands can be due to anxiety, and I take pepto bismol maximum strength (the liquid) for stomach pain/upset.