[Leilee]

Whenever I have to deal with people I begin to shake uncontrollably and feel real uneasy. I get so embarrassed that I begin talking to myself to try to reassure myself that no one is going to hurt me. and sometimes they do emotionally. I wish I was invisible sometimes and/ or at least wish I could act normal. Currently I'm on Lexapro for depression and Anxiety than the doctor upped my Klopin to 1mg to help a little, but the fear is still overwhelming?? I just wish I wouldn't shack so much, and have enough self-confidence to appear unafraid of my own shadow.

[Perna]

I had a hard time with my T because I was the opposite; was as frightened as you but wouldn't show it so appeared too "stiff." My T pointed out that it's better to "be" what one feels, not try to hide it. I think if you work on being with people, only one or two at a time at first, gradually you'll get better at it.

I went to a meeting at my library to form a friends group and got a phone call a couple days later asking me if I would be secretary of the new group, that the president/founder had enjoyed talking to me and wanted me as secretary. I didn't even remember talking to the woman! But I took a chance and said yes (first time in my life) and was terrified but she was very supportive and we became good friends (I think of her as my mentor; she was an older woman, about 25 years older than I was at the time). I was just getting so I could talk on the phone; I'd always had to say "yes" to whoever called (my first phone call in my apartment was from the Fraternal Order of Police asking for money and even though I didn't have enough for myself, I "had to" agree to give them some) which is partly why I said yes when asked to be this organization's secretary. Coupled with my fear though is a desire to please/do as I say I'm going to do so I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. It turned out well for me. I "used' my friend's help along with my T to meet more people and do more things and it all was very helpful.

Do you have a T? Maybe you can find a friend who doesn't mind your shaking a bit and will help you with your fear and embarrassment. I know when there are people who I perceive as even more frightened than I am, I become less afraid and able to help them! Maybe helping someone else instead of "dealing" with them would help you too?

One mental trick that helps me is to tell myself I'm "excited" instead of "afraid" and try to look at whatever I'm about to do as an adventure instead of a frightening ordeal. I think of one or two daring (for me) things to do (specific things to say or people to talk to) and get involved in that "project" and then I'm not so focused on my fear. Sometimes I do things like decide I must greet the grocery store clerk and exchange a pleasantry or two or that I have to look the next 3 people I meet in the eye and say hello. Practice interacting with people does build a bit of confidence.

[alisandria]

I used to get that way a lot. I didn't have the ability to take medication at the time so I did it without. I practiced being with people. I think a good portion of it is building your self-esteem, once that was in place things got better for me. The other thing is I would associate prior places that it happened to with the shaking, and am still working on overcoming some of that.

I think one of the key ingredients here is, don't let your past reactions dictate your present or future ones. You can learn some new coping techniques, skills, and re-establish self-estteem and confidence. Something maybe you never had before, or something that wasn't a strong suit for you.

I know for me, I didn't have coping skills, or self-confidence and self-esteem. Coupled with quite a few traumas I ended up in a hole. The hole is a long way aways now, but on occassion I still feel a shockwave or two from it...I cope, I face my fears, and still trying to work my way out of the residual stuff. One moment at a time. And, hey, give yourself a pat on the back and a break for one moment...you have gotten this far, you just have (as I call it) an overloaded outlet/faulty wiring at the moment...the sparks (shakes) will come to pass little by little.

Have you tried that link Doc posted www.masteringmylife.com I find it very helpful, I don't at the moment have a T, hope to find one soon that can help cooperate some of the work in there, like help navigate me when I get a little stuck. Check it out. Might help you a lil.

Hugs, Lisa

Yup I got this way right before every guest speaking engagement, every group meeting of any kind and in my present life I get this way every court assigned heraring (one every 6 months).

What helps me is that I carry around a walkman and some cassettes with music that I like and find calming, a cassette that my therapist and I made during therapy of a relaxation visualization and I also carry around a small scented bead pillow that I can feel and smell when I need to.

Social anxiety is horrible but it does get better if you plan ahead and have come calming things along to help.

Hang in there