[Enigmatik]

okay im so confused, when i DO go out into the world (not often and NEVER alone) i get nervous no matter what trusted person accompanies me, yet when im alone i panic also, i dont get it? fear of abandonment? social phobia? just plain panic disorder w/ agoraphobia? i dont get it, i hate it and i want to just wake up and feel normal, my relationships are severed because of this *****, i have my mom and my boyfriend in my world (occasionally my dad) and other than than NOBODY, my friends have abandoned me (or maybe i abandoned them) i feel so alone, even with the two most important people with me in my life, i feel so empty. I hate this thing that happens to me, I hate that i cant just bite my lip and get on with *****, i hate that i hate it... oh ya and i hate the fact that im too damn chicken ***** to help myself!,... go to therapy? how do i get there if i cant leave my house?!! take meds? how do i do that if im too damn afraid to take them for fear im going to die?! i think i know the roots of my issues but im afraid to dig at them. will it get worse? will it get better? God please help me shed some light on my life, cause right now im not living, im merely existing with no idea what the purpose is. (no im not suicidal, im waiting to find out what my purpose is, but right now, im just not gettin it and im sick of being in limbo with this stupid !!@##%@ disorder)! argh.

[pamelasu]

*hugs* I hope you get feeling better soon! I know it's hard to want to go out into the world and do things but the only way to get rid of the fear is to face them. You can do it!! And if you just take little baby steps you will eventually be able to go out into the world again. I know the world is a big scary place but what I find that helps me with my anxiety is carring a teddy bear in my bag with me. It calms the inner child inside of me that is causing all the fears. So that could be something you can try too! Just get a little teddy bear to cary around with you, just knowing that it's there will help!! *hugs* and good luck!

[Taipans]

I have heard of people taking small objects as a security blanket when they go out. I suffer from pretty severe social anxiety and avoided treatment, and medications for a long time. Until I got to the point where you are at now. When you finally relise that your world is falling in and you seem alone when you really arent. Soon you will effect even the close ones around you and it will get worse. This is the point I called a doctor and started treatment. I found if I didnt I would lose my wife and family around me by becoming a recluse. I know its hard, probley one of the hardest things you have to do, but once you make that first tiny step and get help, you will only go up from there. Even if it takes awhile to get to where you need to be. Wish you all the best, and we are all here to help as much as we can!

Mark

I can't shed any light on things going on in you but -I - can say that with - ME - the right medications and therapy programs and other self help things like - MY - using grounding and relaxation techniques and - MY - taking a depression anxiety management class has helped - ME - so that - I - am not anxiety filled and so on,

It does get better but no one can do the work.

for MY anxiety problems -

- I - had to be the one taking the medications
- I - had to be the one going to therapy
- I - had to be the one doing the things that I was learning in therapy outside my therapy time to make MY outside of therapy life better.

No one can force you to take the meds, get out and do the therapy and so on. But if you want your life to get better unfortunately thats what needs to happen.

Hang in there.

You sound overwhelmed when you describe going out.

Yes, therapy can help you. But take it slow. Think about getting help and feeling better. When those thoughts start to get scary and cause anxiety (as it seems to happen for some of us when we think about something a while) switch to thinking of something else, something pleasant, comforting. Switch as if you are clicking a TV remote to change a channel... Make an appointment with a therapist and commit to just that one appointment, keeping your thoughts from expanding and beginning the 'what if' scenarios that scare us. Plan ahead; ask a friend to go with you so you will feel more comfortable. After your appointment, treat yourself (and your friend?) to something special: lunch, coffee, or whatever would be a treat for you (my treats are usually buying a new paperback book: also, my books are my security blanket and I usually have one wherever I go).

It sounds like an oxymoron, but it is actually the truth: that we feel better when we face our fears. We feel proud when we can find the courage to try; afterward we can be proud of our great accomplishment. And getting out, getting help, putting one foot in front of the other in spite of the fear in our hearts is indeed a great and courageous accomplishment!

Here is an interesting and informative site you might want to visit! www.aboutpsychotherapy.com

[Boopers]

I have to agree with myself. They were right on. It sounds like you have some choices to make and I hope the best for you.

Good Luck
Linda