[tomsmith101]

What is this called when I feel people are talking behind my back all the time? When I feel like every conversation I cant quite hear is somehow (as illogical as this maybe) about me, and against me. As I type this it seems I come off as self-absorbed , but I assure this is not completely the case. I may be somewhat self-absorbed,but who can claim not to be? I try to work for people in my life and make things better. Everyday I go out and feel judged. I have trouble making decisions in terms of style, my haircut, etc. This is kind of a hash of small issues but hopefully somebody gets where I am coming from.

[aleej28]

I understand, this is actually a common paranoia for people who suffer from psychosis. I have the same thoughts and feelings, as if everyone is always talking bad about me. I don't think it has a specific name or at least I don't know what it is but you're not alone in this.

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[tomsmith101]

Schizophrenia runs in the family. I have had idea before, that I may be somewhat psychotic, but in all honesty, I don't want to be diagnosed. I feel like I can work past it, maybe. The thing is day after day I hold myself back with this fear of being judged. I tried anxiety meds and they didn't work so well. Really sick of my mind being a prison.. Thank you for your feedback Aleej. I hope things are going good for you.

[aleej28]

I understand being scared of the diagnosis, depression and anxiety I could deal with, but the psychosis and BPD which I've dealt with since summer and it's very nerve racking. Therapy has definitely helped me though

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[Frankbtl]

Hi, if it is schizophrenia the absolute best thing you can do is have it diagnosed and start some treatment however hard, worrying, frightening (?) that may be. Of course I'm not saying it's going to be an easy road to start on, but without that then things can be a whole lot worse as I'm sure you're beginning to see.
Now I REALLY don't want to put you off seeking help if you need it. If you do then completely go for it!! but just a thought IF it may not be:
Do you think that maybe you're more feeling really insecure? Sometimes if we are then it's easy to believe that others are thinking the worse about us, and read things into situations that aren't really there. And the problems with making decisions MAY come from a lack of self confidence I'm thinking?? What do you think??
But what are your relationships like in general with those around you? Thinking outside of the box, is there anything you can do to improve those if you need to??
Just some ideas, but DO get some help if you need to.
Best wishes
Alison