[lawnspic]

Im not sure where to start, but i will give it a try. I have had anxiety for many years and have managed to cope. Sometimes i would binge drink to get through. Thing is i have OCD that i have never seen discussed hear or anywhere. Not even books, I obsess over my daily activities. I will try to remember things that i did at any given moment and try to remember it the exact way i did them. Most times i will forget like a normal person would but obsess trying to think about exactly how i did those things. It cant be a vague recollection but exact to the tee. I also will obsess over things i have tought about and try to remember my thoughts in the exact order i had them. I dont do the typical rituals(hand washing ect.) but they are similar i assume. Its like i have to battle my short term memory, even though that is five. I try to recall things that most people forgot already. And the things i try to recollect are random, can be anything. Example- I know i brushed my teeth last night, but i need to know when i did, or exactly what time i went to bed. Its been bad or the last 3 weeks, but im getting through now with alot of effort and trying to let go. Sometimes i can go a long time not doing this, but one little thing can set it off. Has anyone seen this before and is there a name for this type of OCD. Thanks

[sup_sarah]

I've never heard of something like that before. I also have OCD but in different forms. I'd suggest seeing someone about it, it could really make a difference.

[lawnspic]

Wow not the response i was looking for, was hoping to hear it being common. I quess OCD comes in many flavors, i just had one nobody has tried, ha ha. I just hope someone will read this and be familiar with this, whether personaly or just from observation. I share the same problems as everyone else who has i quess the usual symptoms. Mild depression, cant focus. Im trapped in my head 24-7 and need to get out. Im starting to get control again, and i usually learn from my mistake's. I have been dealing with panic disorder for many years without the need for help or medication. I dont know if that was a good idea, maybe i could have had better quality of life, but im stubborn and was set on not becoming dependent on meds. I know one thing that it has done is made me srtonger in some respect. There is a saying that you should keep your friends close and your enemy's closer (Godfather). Well the enemy is anxiety and keeping it near has helped. Sounds strange yes but by not forgetting those experiences has helped me cope. Once i felt fine for some time and out of nowhere i had a full blown attack, which was a big blow for me then.I quess i got a little to comfortable (normal i suppose).Now i keep it close to me and i can control my life better. The same can be said for my OCD, maybe i got a little to comfortable. Now i can learn from this and not do it again, while trying to combat my symptoms.