what's so weird about being shy?!

Hello. Just needing to vent a little. Been feeling so down for so long. I started a new job a few weeks ago. I'm sooooo quiet and shy there, and people are probably starting to think I'm weird or something. See, this group of people are very outgoing and loud. I really don't fit in. It's sort of near the city, and I'm more of a suburban girl......if anyone knows what I mean. And, I'm in such financial trouble, I just have to keep going. My first day, I came home, and started crying uncontrollably. I mean to the point where I almost passed out because I couldn't breathe. During this "attack" I kept thinking how my life will never ever get better, I'll never have the motivation to live the life I want to, I have no true friends, what's the point, etc. etc. The thing is, I like being shy, and I wholeheartedly admit that I'm not too fond of people. I really love non-humans. And with this job (retail).......oh my god......I have such anxiety alllllllll day long! I just don't know how I'm going to make a living if I just can't stand people anymore. It almost seems that as I get older, I don't like more and more people. I feel like I don't belong where I am.......my face hurts from trying to act polite all the time. I'm so tired of it. And my home life absolutely does not makes things any easier. I can feel my nerves buzzing, like I'm about to just snap. And this feeling of hopelessness is bringing me waaaay down. I'm under a huge pile of bricks or something. It really physically feels that way. For the past year I've been thinking about moving west to Utah to live near this animal sanctuary. The ONLY thing keeping me here is my cats. I would miss them so much. I can't take them all with because I couldn't afford it (I have 14) and the person I live with loves them too. I've run out of ideas on how to make myself happy. I'm empty, frazzled, and weighted. Don't know what to do anymore.

Hi Rebecca,

I think it's fine to be shy personally. I find it distracting and not very professional, when I've worked with people who talked constantly. It seemed that if they thought it, they had to say it. I find that very annoying. I am more circumspect. If your coworkers say anything about your being quiet, you could just say something like, "I'm just getting the lay of the land."

I'm suffering from PTSD, and don't have the same tolerance for people that I used to.

I worked for a Fortune 500 company for 17 years. I was laid off almost four years ago now, because of my age. I have had a terrible time finding a job, which is a good fit for me since then, so I understand how you are feeling.

Try to work on your self-talk. Start with getting rid of the "nevers". True friends are hard to find. Hope is very precious. Don't crush hope on the ground. We all need to hope things will get better, when they are not living up to our expectations.

I hope it won't hurt your feelings if I say I chuckled when you said your face hurts from being polite. Yes, it takes a lot of strength and composure to maintain an attentive face, listening to a string of customers all day.

I've been feeling like I'm under a huge amount of weight too. I've made the analogy of it feeling like snow--you know like after an avalanche. It's like my life fell on top of me when I wasn't looking.

I'm an animal lover too. Can't you take your cats with you if you move to Utah? You'll know what to do when the right idea surfaces. Hold onto hope, and try being nicer, gentler and kinder to yourself.

Hugs, Jane

It sounds like you're doing the best you can with what you've got. There's nothing wrong with being shy and I can really relate to not liking people much. The only "friends" that seem to be able to cheer me up and to make me feel wanted are animals, too. They're wonderful. If I were in your position, I'd be very stressed out and anxiety-ridden also.

When I was younger we had 13 cats and it was the happiest I'd ever been. I'm a big cat lover and couldn't bear to not be around them at some point in time. Right now I'm living where I am not allowed to have pets (it's very heartbreaking) so I keep all my cats at my dad's house (he lives on a farm) about 6 miles away from me so it's not too too bad. I see them once a week, not enough for me but I don't have any other choice.

I just wanted to relate to you and tell you it's not so terrible being shy and relating to non-humans. I can understand your unhappiness, though, and wish you the best.

Hang in there.

Hi.... I'm not very shy but I know what you're talking about. Sometimes at work I feel as though I'm going to start throwing things if people don't shut up. And people on cell phones irritate me beyond belief. I DO NOT CARE WHAT THEY HAD FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT~and I don't care where they are going or where they have been. I relate much better to animals than I do people.

Case in point. I made these beautiful Christmas cards and decided to send them out. I addressed one to a friend and then thought about who else I would send one to. No one! So, I guess my friend will get a really nice card for the next ten or twelve years~

I am contemplating leaving Oklahoma for Texas and I understand how you feel about moving. I have four cats and three dogs and I know that I am going to have a hard time finding a place to rent because of them. But I'll search til I find a home for all of us. I understand your feelings about not going without them.

xoxox pat

Hi All,

My therapist is my St. Bernard, Molly!!

Hugs, Jane

i use Fayeroe, LitaChiquita, Teddy Jack (named after Leon Russell's son), Amsu, Pearlcat, Timmee and Mikee. they are very reasonable in their fees. and are available 24/7

thank you everyone. animals really are the best therapists. having so many in the house can get a little overwhelming at times, but i always have so much fun when we have our play time. it almost feels like i'm becoming more feline-ish. hehe. thanks again to all of you.

I am kind of shy too except that I have been in retail for around five long years. I joke to my co-workers that I have my people skills. Some days they come natural. Other days, I just can't seem to fake it. I had a customer today ask me how I was. I replied "altright." He/she replied that I wasn't very convincing. Since I thought I was in an okey mood, I was rather puzzled by this person's response. I have been getting that more lately because of my odd problem. I sometimes think customers expect me to always be happy and know the answer to their questions. I sometimes have to ask someone else because I work mostly in food, the cash register, photo and answering phones.
As for pets, I have a cat with diabetes. I get all my hugs at church or from my cat. I sometimes do miss physical contact with humans though. I really enjoy my cat, Taffy. She even sleeps with me despite the fact that I spend almost half the night awake.

i don't want to get off topic. but hopeful said something about missing human contact. i do too. but sometimes it comes at such a price that i would just rather sleep with some cats and dogs. and i also have the problem at work of everyone thinking i'm the one that has the best people skills. if ONLY they knew what i'm thinking part of the time. it goes like this: "what the hell were you thinking, you moron?" "coming in here today and expecting something to be custom framed for you for Christmas?".......i hide it...but occasionally i know a bit of it creeps through. i gave a man all the hardware he needed today to frame his own oil painting so i could get rid of him and i told him that. he died laughing and i also did. but i could tell that he had humour and was self-sufficient. most of them wouldn't know humor if it kicked them in the ***!