[aziza_akos]

Okay I really don't like it when women hug me unless I know them and know I am safe.
But men forget it don't touch me and please don't even stand too close. If it happens one does I jump away, panic, run or just stand and shake. Even with me I know. Now I can manage to shake hands but that's about it. Even male doctors are a issue one poor doctor even though he was SO handsome I started crying when I was in the room with him waiting to be checked. They had to have a female nurse come in (my normal doc was gone)
Now recently a older man I have known for a while started to touch me first it was is hand on my shoulder or back and I just grinded my teeth and walked away any kept distance between him. This last time I was in a hallway and he put is arm around my waste I jumped back and hit the wall then got outside when the space opened my friend saw and I told her it upset me. It actually led to a flashback and I sat shaking for a long time alone. My friend mentioned to him and he said he was sorry and I believe he meant it but then said later on he thought I should of hugged him after the talk making me believe he got nothing out of it. I felt bad because I felt I hurt him feelings he IS a good person and I don't really think he would hurt me but it has come to the point I don't really want to be around him. So I feel guilty for hurting his feelings, guilty for feeling I don't want to be around him and anger at myself I am like this.
It also leads to the deeper concern that while I am straight and more then likely asexual I miss the emotional connection with a man and do at times wish I had someone to snuggle up to hold hands and hug my flashbacks and fears are getting in the way. I have no desire to have sex and the thought is both scary and repulsive. I did while married but never enjoyed it and I think it led to a lot of problems and was probably a good part of why he was abusive and killed my animals

[not quite right]

Though mine is nonspecific in relation to the gender, I myself hate to be touched & if someone caught me off guard I've been known to hit. I don't want to be held at night by my husband, makes me feel restrained. And I love on my children, but, it is in limited doses. I definitely have an issue with personal space. I just want a barrier. My friends are aware & when I'm having a crisis and sit before them weeping they have to fight the urge to bug me. I have panic attacks if I'm in public and it's too crowded. I just cannot bear sharing my personal space with anyone. I realize it's not exactly the issue you're struggling with, but I hope maybe knowing you're not alone may at least give you some comfort. I wish you well and will gladly listen if you need an ear.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

That's some rough stuff. No help from me, I'm afraid, just appreciation for what you're going through, and thanks for your posting what you did. Unfortunately, some people (men and women) are too touchy-feely for everybody's tastes; it annoys me too, but not to the extent it does for you. I'm just not too great with intimacy and any physical contact, unless under my control, feels unpleasant. (some exceptions, but there's always that little bit of discomfort)