[fineday1]

How to start discussing my anxiety...I don't know if this thread will be read or if anyone will relate to having anxiety around other people who are going through difficulties. I don't know why I started avoiding my support group (not wanting to be vulnerable with people I barely know). I feel like the anxiety about showing up to group in a positive way to be there for other people puts pressure on me not to be myself and then I don't go, when I really should. Are there better ways of coping with things other than avoidance?

[dwfieldjr]

I haven't found very many but I'm not going to stop looking.

[ThinKing87]

I used to attend a support group back in college... I was so anxious I eventually just started to "perform". I.e- crack jokes, pretend I was someone else.. Sure, it got laughs from time to time, but I ended up being more anxious after I got out of it. I tend to use avoidance pretty frequently now, with every event masked with every excuse possible....

[shabur]

I have an idea of how you feel. I was in a support group for 5 years. I remember not wanting to open up for fear of vulnerability, but I kept going. Before I started the group I had a meeting with the facilitator to go over what to expect, group rules, ... I told her how much I struggle with trust and feeling vulnerable. She calmed my fears by letting me know that what I do is on my time frame.

As I listened to the other members I found I had a lot in common which gave me comfort and confidence. And as I listened I started to trust the group members and eventually I started to open up. They got me through a lot. To this day we remain in contact with each other and get together every other month. They have become my confidants.

If I knew I needed to ask for time, but thought I might back out when I got there, I would send the facilitator an email letting her know I needed time.

I have a few suggestions:

1. Talk to your facilitator outside of group to let her know what you are struggling with. She should be able to help you through this.

2. Breathe, breathe and then keep breathing. When we become anxious our breathing is the 1st to go and we tend to only use the upper part of out lungs. When I feel that anxiety I focus on my breath - I breath deep into my abdomen, picturing my breath enter as I inhale, counting to 4 and the out as I exhale again counting to 4.

3. I also have a medallion a friend gave me that I carry with me always - I will hold that medallion as well.

4. If the breathing is not working I will write out what is causing the anxiety. Sometimes seeing the cause written down helps me realize it's not that bad. Or I write what are the worst things that can happen and what are the best that can happen.

Having a group of people who support you is wonderful. It will take time for you to trust them and it will take time to open up, but it is well worth the struggles you face now. Please talk to your facilitator.

[summerblueskies]

Originally Posted by fineday1

How to start discussing my anxiety...I don't know if this thread will be read or if anyone will relate to having anxiety around other people who are going through difficulties. I don't know why I started avoiding my support group (not wanting to be vulnerable with people I barely know). I feel like the anxiety about showing up to group in a positive way to be there for other people puts pressure on me not to be myself and then I don't go, when I really should. Are there better ways of coping with things other than avoidance?

I also have anxiety esp socially. I feel like everything I say comes out sounding totally moronic. Is it mandatory for you to have to go to group therapy. It sounds like you would feel more comfortable in one on one sessions. You could also try to see why you might find it hard to open up to people and see if you can get better with it. Best of luck, anxiety is a b**** but it does get easier

[fineday1]

Thanks for your feedback shabur, summerblueskies, and thinking87, and dwfieldjr. It's not mandatory for me to go to group, however I did intensive group therapy this summer and then decided that I needed to have a support group because of all these difficult emotions that I am going through. I do feel like I'm acting in the group, or just listening to them. It's not a requirement for me to attend, but I have a difficult time making myself go. So I get depressed about not going because I feel I should be going, but then I end up doing something else like reading, watching tv, or talking to my dad. I'm going to try going this week, don't know if it will help me to discuss my difficult issues with others.