[lucami]

I used to have a problem with this when I was on meds. Couldn't be alone for like 5 min because it triggered panic attack.. After dropping meds I had a year without this, but being alone triggers my panic again.. How to cope with this? My father is going to work in like 10 min, so my friend supposed to visit me.. But he just called that he can't come today, and my heart started to beat like crazy, I feel so heavy and scared, my head feels strange... To make things worse it's raining now, rain always makes me feel little dizzy... I'm so scared that I could have full blown attack or die while being alone..

[lucami]

I know panic comes from my catastrophic thinking, automatic monitoring my body, and from avoidance of staying alone.. but yet even if I know this, I'm freaking out ;c

[Skanzi]

Do not try to resist the fear, as tough as that may be. You have to let it pass through you, you have to be with it. That is the only way. Fear is just that, fear. See the fear for what it is, observe it. Allow yourself to feel the fear, and see that it is not fear that is the problem, but you resisting the fear that causes the problem. Your emotions cannot kill you.

When you look at fear subjectively, reacting to it, anxiety happens.
When you look at fear objectively, non-judgemental, insight and awareness happens.

[healingme4me]

How did it go? Being alone?

[lucami]

yeah Skanzi but like Yoda in Star Wars said, 'fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate' hate leads to suffering' and I can say it's very true..
healingme4me I had mid heavy panic attack, yesterday too. but tried breathing, took valerian.. and got so angry for my friends that when I was in quite good health I could go help them even in middle of the night.. but when I need just someone to be around, no one has time little bit of time for me.. I feel kind of hate for everyone right now and like my heart would bleed, mentally... I don't know what I should do with my life, it's not living, it's just existing from attack to attack, from fear to fear, from hope for ppl to being disappointed in ppl..

[CrystalSteph]

Hey Lucami,

I use to have this fear as well,at times I still do. It started out when I was younger where I didn't have much of a choice and had to stay home alone. I feared many things while being home alone and slowly over came this by doing things that kept me occupied so I wouldn't have time to think about my fear. I would listen to music,sing,dance,watch movies,draw,clean ..anything to keep my occupied and time went by faster as well.
I now stay home alone almost every day. I recently became timid again because there was a break in in the neighborhood and I just recently moved here so every little noise I hear I make sure there's nothing wrong and honestly 90% of the time there really isn't anything wrong, our mind tends to play a bit role in making us feel things that aren't there. As I type this, I hear noises..and it's most likely just the neighbor's house,wind, even the fridge makes weird noises. Fear will make the smallest things appear bigger than they are. Sometime we have to take a deep breath and actually believe that everything will be fine. Even chatting with people online made me feel not so alone, believe in yourself and know that you will overcome this. I know it is easier said than done, but I hope you are able to

[lucami]

hey CrystalSteph, my fear of staying alone is probably so big thanks to fears of having attack/passing out/dying/being possessed when I'm totally alone and nobody would help me in situation like this... And I fear I could go crazy, like start to scream for no reason, talk with walls, and nobody would tell me wtf I'm doing... maybe it's like you said, fear and crazy obsessive thoughts will make the smallest things appear bigger than they really are even now I struggle with fear of going to psychiatrist tomorrow, even if I know this doc already, been there, it's about 5 min from my home... but no, my mind has to create the worst scenarios
I've tried cleaning, singing, watching movies, playing videogames..At first it worked, but now it's something automatic, like eating everyday.. I used to be very creative person before, always doing something new because I was easily bored doing the same stuff all over again, and maybe I'm kinda going crazy like this because of lack of new experiences.. but then again, how I can do something new when fear and panic attacks keeps me like in a cage :c
Thanks to my family I never had faith in myself, now my own mind and body stands against me.. But I'll try to start believing in myself, just don't know how :/ my mind keeps thinking only about scary stuff like 24h, not about solutions eh :c