Hoarding

Since there appears to be no dedicated OCD board, I will post this here. As an Adult Protective Services worker I work with hoarders from time to time. Someone sent me this site at work which some of you may find useful:

http://www.childrenofhoarders.com/bindex.php

Thanks for posting that link, Topher. I have to admit that looking at it upset me a lot, though. Major trigger for me. Those pictures reminded me WAY too much of my place and I couldn't read much of the site. My place isn't nearly as bad as those photos, but it is a mess. I'm not a hoarder. I don't have any connection to all the clutter. There are very few possessions -- other than some photos -- that mean anything to me. I want the rest of it GONE.

I used to be very neat, but that stopped about 2-1/2 years ago when I recovered from agoraphobia. I became extremely lazy about my surroundings and I let things get out of control. When I think about cleaning it up (because I HATE it so much and it's on my mind all the time when I'm at home), I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to begin. I can't make myself get off my arse and just START... because I don't know where to begin and it makes me feel SO baffled and useless. I feel like I don't know HOW to tidy up anymore... even though I can still keep things tidy and very organized at work. It makes no sense to me and it's making me feel horrible and crazy. It causes me a lot of anxiety because I HATE clutter and I worry about my landlord seeing the mess and evicting me because of it. It seems so simple... Just clean it up!... but I tell myself I'm going to do it EVERY DAY and I don't do it... and I don't know why and I don't know how to change that. Why am I not doing it right now? Why am I just ranting about it again? It seems impossible and it seems crazy too. I dunno. It's my insanity.

I was talking about it with my parents this afternoon and they think I just need a new place -- because I have too many bad memories here. They think I would keep a new place clean. They think I would be all neat and organized like I was before if I were in a new, bigger place. I don't think so, though. There's something that's making me do this and I don't think a change of scenery would change what's causing this.

there aren't any geographical cures...........

i used to be the model of organization. now i can't even wrap my head around it. i thought i would be "better" in Texas. i'm a tiny bit but not much.....and i HATE it........

i stand in the middle of a room and wonder what to do.....

At least you can stand up. LOL. There's not enough room for me to stand up. My cat's shooting me disgusted looks every time he has to walk over something or can't find a clear spot on the sofa to lie down. Ugh.

I am not a therapist Juliana but your discomfort with your living space suggests to me that you may not be a hoarder. Those I have worked with have a serious distortion that all the stuff in their home is valuable and its removal is like a loss of self. While we sometimes look and live like we feel, remember it's what's inside you that counts as corny as that sounds. That you are so candid about a potentially embarassing aspect of your life makes you seriously cool to me, if you don't mind my saying so.

No, Juliana wasn't saying she was a hoarder; in fact, she said in her first post that she isn't. She was just saying that the photos triggered her own discomfort with her own situation.

I'm not a hoarder, either, but I really feel for hoarders. There was a show a few weeks ago on Dr. Keith Ablow featuring hoarders, and he made me furious. Not once did he mention therapy or treatment, but instead, asked families, "Is it like she thinks these things are more important than you?" and to the hoarders, "How can you do this to your family?" I wanted to rip his head off! People with OCD--hoarders and others--feel guilty as hell without him making it worse. Of course, all of us with anxiety, depression and other mental issues often deal with a lot of guilt. We don't need that crap.

I also hate how people react to hoarders. They see a mess, and they're like, "That's disgusting!" and "You're horrible!" and think the hoarder is lazy and disgusting. When the hoarding is about pets, I absolutely agree, the animals have to be rescued, because you can't do that, but the hoarder, too, needs rescuing and needs sensitivity. I love Animal Cops and the shows like that on the Animal Network, but I sometimes get a feeling some of the cops (not all) think it's wrong that pet hoarders/collectors can't be prosecuted (at least in some locations). It's just something about their tone and/or the look on their faces. I have no compassion for people who hurt animals, and, like I said, something has to be done in these cases, but I sympathize, because I know the people have skewed perception of the situation and it's extremely stressful for them when the animals are rescued and taken from their homes.

Thanks Topher. I'm definitely not a hoarder, but I am pretty cool. I'm also a slob. I hate all the crap in my flat. I wish someone would take it all away because I'm too lazy (or crazy) to do it myself. My mother suggested hiring Molly Maid, but I wouldn't inflict this on a stranger... and I certainly wouldn't let another person see it. I keep telling myself I'll be able to deal with it tomorrow. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll be right.

My office, on the other hand, is impeccably neat and organized -- not a file out of place. I also look fabulous when I go out. I'm very well-dressed and extremely competent at my job... which involves organizing and coordinating things, btw. None of this makes sense.

I know what you mean, Maven. I remember seeing an episode of Oprah a few years ago that was basically about -- "OMG, look at what a disgusting mess this woman's home is in!" It seemed that the whole point of the show was to SHAME this woman. The woman had been a very tidy perfectionist and then after something traumatic happened (a divorce I think), she started hoarding and her living space was out of control with clutter. The whole show was about how DISGUSTING her home was and what a SLOB she was. People came in and cleaned up the mess and then Oprah sort of reprimanded the woman and told her how important it was to have a lovely home and that she had better not let it get messy again. At the end of the show, Oprah had some sort of "lightbulb moment" where it occurred to her that this woman might have some sort of psychological problem she needed help with. Duh!

My home isn't as neat and clean as I'd like it to be, and I admit I hate cleaning, but part of it is, it's so stressful for me to clean, even though my OCD wants everything clean. I have OCD issues with the cleaning itself, so it's really something I don't want to deal with.

My whole life is pretty much a mess, but it's mine. (Semi-smiley face)