[waverider]

I've been dealing with anxiety regularly for the past year and sporatically in the past. I recently embarked on a new teaching profession coming from journalism and always wonder if I can ever be happy in any job. I wake up thinking about failure, what ifs, if I'm making good choices, and the possiblity that I may never get a job in a highly competitive market. I worry that I might be unable to handle the stress of it as well. Meanwhile, I wonder why employers don't call me back after what I perceive to be glowing interviews.

I way I have always handle stress is by action and adrenaline sports. Well, I herniated a disk a year ago which is now taking that away and also effecting my ability to work. I've also given Paxil and Zoloft fair chances in the last eight months, and have tried to digest the "Feeling Good Handbook." Now, I just find myself awake at 3 am every morning and feel that my fear of failure will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Thanks for your thoughts.
Ryan

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I've had racing thoughts before, it usually does not last long, it's just part of anxiety etc....

For me it seems like it always happens usually when I'm on the comptuer, why? Not sure.

The fear of failure can definatly cause sleep disturbances... why do you feel like you are a failure??

Take care, it's ok to worry over something like interviews, assuming the worse of stuff, of outcomes is something that will keep you from sleeping well..

Take care.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[waverider]

Thanks for the replies. They're very much appreciated. As for the fear of failure, it's something I've delt with for many years--never being happy in the here and now. Just looking ahead about five years. I've found it to be a problem recently as when I first enter a new job. I don't have a grasp on the anxiety and my sleep and job performance are greatly effected. It seems like I'm so concerned with failing--not meeting (my own) high performance expectations in stressful jobs--that I'll quit the desired and hard earned job and walk away. Wow, that sounds ridiculous.

Ryan

[Butterfly_Faerie]

it doesn't sound ridiculous, I think alot of people have that fear of failure, hell i've felt that way many times.

Have your tried postive self talk?

Do you suffer from low self essteem at all? sometimes that can be the cause of why you feel like you fail all the time..

did that make sense?

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[waverider]

It does make sense, but I'm unsure whether it's a self-esteem issue or not. Partly, perhaps, because I'm used to being physically healthy and active. But the low back injury has sort of taken that away. I was, in a way, like my father who would ride away on his harley when things got tough for him when I was a child (eventually leading to my emancipation at 15 years old, 13 years ago). I however would push myself hard in outdoor sports until I pushed too hard and injury resulted. Some things have caught up to me. My supportive wife believes it to be poor self esteem brought out by never having family support. At times I feel like I lean on her too heavily. Without her, I'd likely be homeless on the streets of coastal California. (Partly, in truth to the cost of living here)
Ryan

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I think your wife might have nailed it then, Not having support in your family can definatly be linked to that. The fact that you are afraid to fail, or think you will always fail makes me wonder how supportive your family was. Was there any praise when you did things good?

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[waverider]

To some extent, I imagine. But more so, my father wanted the hunter and captain of the football team. Instead he got a skater, surfer and martial artist. Or as his wife wrote in a note 17 years ago, a "short fat Chinese dwarf."

[Butterfly_Faerie]

there is nothing wrong with skating, or surfboarding, It's a good sport, I personally enjoy watching it.

Be what you want to be, not what others want you to be.

Do what makes you happy.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>