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#1
Apr 02, 2015, 06:54 AM
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does anyone else find that they find it difficult to be in an intimate relationship with social anxiety? i have a boyfriend but we haven't done anything because i'm too scared and i always overthink it and i'm pretty sure he's getting sick of it considering the fact that i cant even kiss him... this has happened in previous relationships....
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 kaliope, Ruftin
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 IchbinkeinTeufel
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#2
Apr 02, 2015, 09:34 PM
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hi losing hope
i think if the relationship is the right one, with someone who really cares for you, then you for one wouldnt lose the relationship because he would wait until you were comfortable enough and if her were the right one, your feelings for him would override that anxiety. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome 
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| losing-hope
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#3
Apr 03, 2015, 04:29 AM
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yes i have this too, it makes relationships so hard. hopefully it will get easier.
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| losing-hope
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#4
Apr 03, 2015, 12:15 PM
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What works is doing stuff that makes you uncomfortable. Don't over think it just kiss him or do it. For me, if my sleeves on my shirt are too loose or if one sleeve is loser than the other, it use to drive me literally insane as if people made fun of me for my sleeve being looser(of course this wasn't the case lol).
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| losing-hope
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#5
Apr 03, 2015, 05:55 PM
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Yes! I'm a guy, by the way. This very much has happened to me and likely will continue. I'm able to do certain things, especially things like kissing and hugging, but when it gets more intimate, is when anxiety becomes a problem. It's no secret that if a man and a woman are anxious as hell, ther'es a good chance they can't "perform", so then it obviously becomes a problem. I fear this for my next relationship.
As long as the women I hope to next be with will be understanding and patient, I think it will be OK... but if you aren't comfortable... if you aren't MADE to FEEL comfortable, then I think there's a problem. My last ex? Wonderful, she made me feel like it was OK to be my messed up self. Ex before her? Terrible, she made me feel horrible. Your guy should be working with you on this.
__________________
{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil [ `id -u` -eq 0 ] || exit 1 |
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#6
Apr 03, 2015, 06:00 PM
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Welcome to Psych Central (PC) losing hope. Sorry to hear you are feeling upset about social anxiety. I am not an expert on social anxiety but in my own case I was intimidated by my past bullying and dominating people. It was not an easy process to get over and I found it helped make it a little easier when someone was empathetic and willing to share intellectual intimacy like just conversation and understanding. Physical and emotional intimacy had to wait until I grew more comfortable with someone. Glad to see you joining PC.
Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com There are articles that go into more detail about coping What is Loving Self-Care | In Your Own Hands http://psychcentral.com/search/?Matc...nxiety&x=0&y=0 Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.
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Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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#7
Apr 03, 2015, 06:30 PM
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Hello
 and welcome to Psych Central (((losing-hope)))!!! It's nice to meet you. You said you think your boyfriend is getting sick of you not being intimate with him. So you don't actually know this for a fact I'm guessing. Some guys believe it or not find it refreshing to find a woman who is not throwing themselves at them. I have to say I agree with Kaliope on this one. If a guy really cares about you he will wait on you. If he is not willing to wait he is not worth your time. You may want to discuss it with him and let him know where you stand. I know that's not as easy as it sounds because you don't want to lose him. If he understands your anxiety however it may make him more understanding so that he doesn't think you're not attracted to him or that you're toying with him.
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| losing-hope
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| losing-hope
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#8
Apr 04, 2015, 01:35 AM
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Yes I have experienced this, although I tend to freak out about the emotional intimacy aspect of it rather than the physical intimacy aspect. I also push them away or end up breaking up with them because I fear getting close to them and they find out about my anxiety issues. Really hoping I break this cycle soon.
The right person will be there for you.
__________________
"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
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#9
Apr 04, 2015, 08:50 AM
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I tend to over think everything as well, I can't be smooth, feel like I ruin what could be a good time. I find it extremely hard, almost impossible to trust in a relationship. I finally did trust and open up, but my ex left me for another girl. I feel like my anxiety jut makes me impossible to around, I'm just not fun.
losinghope: As far as the physical part, hopefully he is aware of your anxiety and is understanding, if so, you two can slowly ease into it. He can sort of lead you. You say, you can't even kiss him, does he kiss you? Maybe first try to just kiss back.
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LostNgone4ever |
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