[TheletterA]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this or not. I've always felt a strange feeling of being alone and immediatly depressed when I see a group of people hanging out in public, working out together, or in online pictures. It doesn't take much for me to be happy then very sad and bitter.

This has only gotten worse once I graduated from college recently. Now I avoid going out at all, my dream job that I was supposed to have fell through and I've been stuck in this perpetual feeling of being a loser. It has come to the point I avoid going to any family parties, dinners, etc. I just stay at home. When I'm at home I feel alone, but when I'm in public I feel lonely and sad.

I grew up being severely bullied, and have always had a terrible outlook on myself about my image and have forced myself to be thin. I am currently seeking to get rhinoplasty too. My nose is not bad, but I always find myself worrying about it when I am in public. It is only worse when I see a group of jock type guys hanging out. I feel much worse about myself from being unattractive and alone.

I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm not handsome. I'm 22 and look 14. There are no defined facial features or anything. I'm also very short and it's impossible for me to gain any muscle even after spending money on personal trainers.

I hate living like this, I want to feel good, but I cant. I don't know what will make me happy.

Always remember that nobody else's opinions matter. You shouldnt worry about what people think of you when you are out and you definitely shouldnt let yourself be bullied. Im sorry that you went through that growing up. Its truly awful. But now the things from the past are making you crazy and anxious. Don't let the bullies win. You survived it! You are better than they are because you don't do the things they did to you. Go out and have fun. Get that dream job! Do it because you matter and you deserve everything you want out of life. Get your happiness. You matter.

[Daniel87]

Your first step towards happiness is self-acceptance. You have to accept who you are so you can move on to a better life. Once you have accepted yourself with the good and the bad it will be easier to make friends and be more social.

Another thing is to stop trying to impress others. You need to accept that no matter what we do, there are some people who doesn't like us. And that is not necessarily a bad thing because this is how you can make the difference between friends and the others.

I know this is easier said than done but you need to change your mind set if you ever want to be happy.

Take care!

[Symbolic]

I used to go through the same thinking pattern. I was bullied relentlessly throughout school, and it made me think very poorly of myself, and I assumed everyone thought the same of me.

It wasn't until this past year I was finally able to get over it, and push those thoughts aside. I came to the realization that we spend 99.9% of our time in the blind spots in other people's thoughts. How many faces do you see when you go to the store? How many of them do you remember the next day? When you see someone and a judgemental thought crosses your mind ("What an awful haircut that girl has."), do you obsess about her bad haircut for weeks, or is it a fleeting thought?

When you realize no one cares, because they're too busy thinking about their own stuff, it's like a weight being lifted. I lived with agoraphobia for years, and that simple realization was all it took for me to go out and not worry about what other people think, and to just go out and do things. Even if I make a complete fool of myself, are people really going to obsess over what I did every minute of every day for the next 5 years? Nope. They probably won't even notice, or still be thinking about the thing that made me uncomfortable & embarrassed 5 minutes from now. So why waste so much time & energy worried about it?

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by TheletterA

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this or not. I've always felt a strange feeling of being alone and immediatly depressed when I see a group of people hanging out in public, working out together, or in online pictures. It doesn't take much for me to be happy then very sad and bitter.

This has only gotten worse once I graduated from college recently. Now I avoid going out at all, my dream job that I was supposed to have fell through and I've been stuck in this perpetual feeling of being a loser. It has come to the point I avoid going to any family parties, dinners, etc. I just stay at home. When I'm at home I feel alone, but when I'm in public I feel lonely and sad.

I grew up being severely bullied, and have always had a terrible outlook on myself about my image and have forced myself to be thin. I am currently seeking to get rhinoplasty too. My nose is not bad, but I always find myself worrying about it when I am in public. It is only worse when I see a group of jock type guys hanging out. I feel much worse about myself from being unattractive and alone.

I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm not handsome. I'm 22 and look 14. There are no defined facial features or anything. I'm also very short and it's impossible for me to gain any muscle even after spending money on personal trainers.

I hate living like this, I want to feel good, but I cant. I don't know what will make me happy.

I get how you feel.take life one day at a time, and conversations one sentence at a time. slowly, you'll be able to come out of your shell of anxiety. You don't have to start a convo around people, just be there, as a third wheel or fourth wheel or an eighth wheel, it doesn't matter. just be there and smile. go for a run in the morning, when you are feeling up for it, you'll see that it brings a lot of positive changes in your thinking.you can't be happy within a split second, if you did,then it wouldn't be happiness. Rome wasn't built in a day. so, step by step you can get out of this too. You're young, you've got years ahead of you to conquer your dreams. your dream job may seem far away now, but success tastes better with sweat, and bitter without it.

you're not a loser, everybody is insecure about something. you'll see that if you just observe people from a distance and think about it.

so don't worry. call someone you're comfortable with, and just ask them how they are, what they're up to, or just say hi, and hang up. it takes a lot of bravery to do even that, you are capable of that and lots more.

be brave.

[mountain human]

Originally Posted by Daniel87

Your first step towards happiness is self-acceptance. You have to accept who you are so you can move on to a better life. Once you have accepted yourself with the good and the bad it will be easier to make friends and be more social.

Another thing is to stop trying to impress others. You need to accept that no matter what we do, there are some people who doesn't like us. And that is not necessarily a bad thing because this is how you can make the difference between friends and the others.

I know this is easier said than done but you need to change your mind set if you ever want to be happy.

Take care!

Agree 100%--especially this part--easier said than done