[recluse1]

i have so much going on in my life right now i dont even know where to begin. i have chronic pain due to a back injury from 2005 and the pain seems to get worse everyday. it has cost me my job and i havent been able to work since september 06. i am just now getting all the paper work from the doctors top try and file for disability and am seeing a lawyer about getting workers comp payment. in the mean time i am on the verge of losing everything because i cant pay the bills. i also suffer from severe depression and anxiety/panic disorder and the pain and stress aren't helping with that. my mom also recently had brain surgery for an aneurysm and spent weeks in the hospital. she is home now, thank you lord, and recovering. i am trying to help her as best i can and take care of a 5 yr old son. my husband works all the OT he can to try and make ends meet so we dont see each other much. there is just so much on me right know i feel like my head will explode if my heart doesn't first. sorry to go on and on here but i dont know what else to do.

[alonelyangel]

I wish I had a magic wand and tell you it is going to be okay, but I know that it doesn't work that way and I also know that dealing with what you are dealing with AND raising a child, you CAN'T hear it is going to be okay. I know because when I have things compound, people telling me "it is going to be okay" just makes me angrier and scream at them "how do you know". BUT, I do hope that things start to fall into place for you, with the lawyer, your doctors, and I hope your pain starts to ease. I hope your mom comes thru recovery full force and you feel okay to dump. I am sorry you are missing your husband because he is working OT, I have been there, please vent if you need to because I do understand, even though I am new to anxiety disorder and panicking, I have dealt with situations similar to yours and I know how important venting can be. So until it CAN be okay, I wish you some ray of happiness and a strong ray of hope. I hope it goes better with all you have to deal with. You are in my thoughts, because I have been in your shoes.

[recluse1]

thank you so much for your kindness and undertanding. i feel like a mouse on a wheel right now. just running and running and getting nowhere fast. i appreciate your support.

thanks again
recluse1

[alonelyangel]

No problem any time........ I have been running and running and going nowhere, my anxiety has gotten bad lately due to going off a natural remedy for a med and I haven't been sleeping. I was really hoping you didn't take offense to me not telling you it was going to be okay.......Got all anxious again after I sent it, because I didn't want you to think I wasn't being supportive, but I DO know how it goes. Hang in there!!

(((((((((((((recuse))))))))))))))))))))

i wish i could help you.you dont deserve all this crap in your life you are such a wonderful person. all i can offer is a hug and a shoulder if you need one.

jin

[Soidhonia]

((((((((((((RECLUSE))))))))))))
I hope things get better for you soon. Please try to take care of yourself, and try to take things one day at a time if possible. Your mental health team may be able to provide support for your situation as well. Take care ((((((((RECLUSE)))))). Soidhonia

[recluse1]

thank you soid.and thank you jinny. your kindness means so much. i cant talk to my husband because he gets all bent out of shape because he worries about these things too. as well,he worries about me. thanks for listening, it means so much.

recluse

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( recluse ))))))))))))

[daisiesneverlie]

Well i hope that it helps to know that you are not alone! I am going through the same thing right now...who would have thought how hard it would be to get comp and disability for agoraphobia...i am same as you on the verge of losing all, thank god my husband is understanding. It is a big let down when you keep getting rejected. Only thing that helps me is I know that my family will love me no matter what happens financially. It helped me to talk with my therapist about this and with him and my husband about the GUILT that i feel in all this. Guilt is MAJOR!! You have to remember that you didn't ask for this to happen and things will get better! please talk to a support person! Congrats to you taking care of your mom it is not easy! god bless
Lisa

[recluse1]

thank you daisie. and i hope things work out for you as well. it's tough but i'm determined to be tougher. best of luck to you on your journey.

recluse1

[alonelyangel]

Recluse, I hope some things have started to work themselves out for you. If not, try and hang in there. Any word on all your paperwork and such? How is your mom doing? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that wrongs start to right themselves. I hope your "wheel" stops for a moment so you can take a breather. May your husband and child give you big hugs and give you strength. Take care.

[recluse1]

thank you angel. it does look as though some things are starting to move in the right direction finally. hopefully things will start to get easier. thanks for asking about mom. she is doing well and getting a little better everyday.

recluse1

[alonelyangel]

I am wishing you the best everyday and everyway. Glad to hear your mom is doing better and that some things are starting to move in the right direction. You are a star, just remember that. It seems really hard at times, but hopefully someday and somehow, things will fall into place. You are a HERO!! Keep chugging along!!! your paperwork and all you have to overcome!!!! Take care, recluse1.