irrational thoughts again....

hi everyone
i was doing well for awhile. and than when life is not perfect is there such a word. i start to get anxious. this time it's about my son who is 9... he developed some kinda of allergic reaction... he is better now, but now he is said his leg hurts, my nephew had leukiema so of course that fear runs in my head to the point where i am almost convinced he has got cancer or some kind of disease, when really it could be just a growth spurt.

has anyone here successfully overcome thinking this way... and when i get like this is starts to affect me at work and i start making errors there or my work gets slowed down.... .. yes i am worry wart ....right now he is happily playing outside, while his momma is a nervous wreck right now.

I can relate very well with what youre going through. I too suffer from Health Anxiety. A constant fear always looms in the head that something bad will happen, and doesnt matter how hard i try to convince myself that everything'll be alright, i just cant shake off that feeling that something is wrong. Mind looks for signs that might signal an impending sickness.

I've made this rule that helps me a lot. Ever heard of Okham's Razor, its based on the prospect that the simplest answer is the best and most probable answer. Theres always a simpler explanation for all the 'symptoms' we perceive as signs of fatal diseases. For example if my head hurts, normally i would jump to the worst conclusion like maybe i have a tumor or something. but now i go with the simpler explanation that fits , like my anxiety and stress are causing Tension headache. Simplify your life. dont look for the most complicated answer.

hi ravdeep
no i have not heard of that but i will look it up.... i used to be a worry wart when it came to my own health, still am but not so bad. now like you if my head is hurting, than i know it's a tension headache, if i have pain in my leg than i say to myself maybe its a pulled muscle... now i just need to think these same thoughts when it comes to my kids.

i lost my mom so suddenly when i was still in my teens, so hence the fears....

thanks again for you reply.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom Leyla. That kind of loss at such an early age can turn our world upside down. In Buddhism they have this concept of "No death", which in simple words means that we were always here, way before we were born since the beginning of time, and we will always be there till the end of time. We manifest different forms throughout our existence. You have your Mom's genes inside your every cell of your body and the same genes are now in your kids as well. If you practice mindful mediation you'd be able to see your mother in you, in your kids, your thoughts. This whole idea of no death is very comforting.

hi ravdeep, yes i need to work on mindfulness meditation..my problem is i lack consistency and when i start something... life gets in the way or ... i find it hard to stay on track, and than i get really down on myself, and say i am so lazy and i don't want to work on getting better, not very comforting... need to work on the self love and esteem issues as well besides the anxiety...it's hard to break old habits or change my thinking when i have pretty much been like this all my life.

but one day at a time right...

We're not perfect leyla, no one is. I myself often find myself being hard on myself over many things. We need to give ourselves a break, we need it now more than ever. Self compassion is a vital element to heal us. Start small, 5 mins a day meditating. Be gentle with yourself during meditation, if you get distracted during, gently come back to your breath. Feel gratitude with every breath ( coz you're alive). if you miss it one day, thats okay.Remember that you're a child of this universe, no less than the trees and stars.
There's this book "Fear" by thich nhat hanh. Its given me a lot of peace and strength by generating the energy of mindfulness. Maybe it can help you too. Give it a shot.

live, One breath at a time

Have you tried thought stopping. That has worked for me when I get stuck on thoughts.