Thinking about time, death and meaning of life [long, pretty dark thread]

[Sorry for any mistake in my english, i'm not a native speaker but trying to improve]

Since I've turned 25 (don't know why) I've been thinking about death in a deeper way... I sometimes found myself (it's so weird that I hope i'm not the only one) randomly looking at biographies of 20s/30s/40s actors and actresses on Google and noticing how beautiful and -apparently- joyful they used to be and so on. Also I lost some relatives and during their funerals I felt more desperate that I used to feel -thinking about death- when I was younger. Back then it seemed more a misterious, far thing and now it's so certain and scary.
I'm agnostic, and, from my perspective... death is death (DUH). Of course, something remains... what we've done in life, our memories and love in the living ones... but being dead means one is not existing anymore, and slowly disappears. Eventually the living ones will also die so the memories will go, too... unless they've pass them to the next generation ._.
I know everything I just wrote may sounds so obvious but... I feel like I can't get out of this paranoia. Every early morning in bed I think about my grandmother... I saw her being buried and... it was such a strong image to me. And I feel like... "what's the point?", and, hopeless, I struggle to get out of bed. Someday it drives me crazy inside.

On the bright side (oh, is there one?) this makes me feel grateful for being alive. And i'm more "humanity goals"-oriented. x) I need to use my time better

Is anyone feeling the same paranoic way? I think it's just about trying to distract myself from thinking about it. Yep

sounds to me like you're dealing with Fear of death and having a bit of an existential crisis. Its very common. Every one goes through this phase. It passes. If you want to get over the fear of death for good, coz it'll never truly go away on its own, this is the book that can help you.

https://www.amazon.com/Fear-Essentia...7665725&sr=1-9

Hope that helps.

Hello Gasplessy: Well... the Skeezyks grew up in an elderly extended family. So I spent my whole childhood going from one funeral to another as each of my relatives died off one after the other. I don't believe in god, or life after death, or reincarnation... when you're dead... you're dead... period. I'm 68 now. So the reality of no longer existing is drawing ever closer. Personally I'm ready to go any time. I've had more than enough of life. After a while it just gets to be more-&-more of the same old thing.

There's kind-of a nice, short video on YouTube I'll link you to. It is a video by a portrait artist who's drawing a picture of astrophysicist Neal deGrasse Tyson. And the voice-over is Dr. Tyson talking about how he views his place in the universe:



I send you my best wishes...

Stop thinking at death if you do that you will lost your life for nothing .Death has a purpose in life and be sure that death its not the end trust me .This universe its to big to live only one life ,they are bilions of bilions of planets just thinking at this .In my opinion its that after we day we get another life but we dont rememebr nothing for others lifes .I think life never ens we are infinite like the universe