[BBB2]

I feel guilty for even considering it! But, I might do it...

It's something to do with work. I've had this dropped on me at the last minute. Most people probably wouldn't have a problem with it, but I do. I need more time to build myself up for things. If I do it I'll have responsibilities, hiding in the toilets won't be an option.

I don't have to do it. But, I'll have to give a good reason.

Don't know what to do. I know I should push myself out of comfort zone, but there will be no where to hide if things become too much. I need to have more control.

I feel like such a bad person. Devious and unreliable and lazy.

[gothicpear]

It sounds like whatever it is you are being asked to do is causing you significant anxiety. It sounds like what you are being asked to do is something you do not feel capable of doing. It sounds like you are desperately looking for an excuse to not do whatever is being asked of you.

To answer your question, yes. I have lied to get out of something. Usually when I do that, it's because I do not feel the other person will "hear" me. They'll hear the sound of my voice, but they will railroad over my insecurities and deficiencies and then I will be doing something that I know I cannot and should not do [because of my own issues.]

You say you feel devious, unreliable and lazy. That's a lot of hate to put on yourself. If you're not doing something you should do, then guilt is a common response and is telling you that you should do the right thing. However, if you are being pushed into doing something you absolutely do not/cannot do, then you should not feel guilty for saying "no thank you."

[treevoice]

Personally, I think it sounds like maybe this would be a good opportunity for you to stretch out of your comfort zone, you may surprise yourself with what you're capable of. But, your mental health is as good a reason as any to say no to something. If lying will cause you to feel bad about yourself, just be honest about why you don't want to do it. I know a lot of people try to hide mental health concerns from their employer but I work in human resources and I see a lot of problems that could have been avoided with some honesty - if they know you have issues they need to be aware of and work around, they will be less likely to put pressure on you to cross those boundaries.

[BBB2]

Originally Posted by gothicpear

It sounds like whatever it is you are being asked to do is causing you significant anxiety. It sounds like what you are being asked to do is something you do not feel capable of doing. It sounds like you are desperately looking for an excuse to not do whatever is being asked of you.

To answer your question, yes. I have lied to get out of something. Usually when I do that, it's because I do not feel the other person will "hear" me. They'll hear the sound of my voice, but they will railroad over my insecurities and deficiencies and then I will be doing something that I know I cannot and should not do [because of my own issues.]

You say you feel devious, unreliable and lazy. That's a lot of hate to put on yourself. If you're not doing something you should do, then guilt is a common response and is telling you that you should do the right thing. However, if you are being pushed into doing something you absolutely do not/cannot do, then you should not feel guilty for saying "no thank you."

Thanks for your helpful insight. Yeah, I think going through with it would be the right thing to do, but I am looking for excuses to chicken out. It's the pattern of my anxiety.

[BBB2]

Originally Posted by treevoice

Personally, I think it sounds like maybe this would be a good opportunity for you to stretch out of your comfort zone, you may surprise yourself with what you're capable of. But, your mental health is as good a reason as any to say no to something. If lying will cause you to feel bad about yourself, just be honest about why you don't want to do it. I know a lot of people try to hide mental health concerns from their employer but I work in human resources and I see a lot of problems that could have been avoided with some honesty - if they know you have issues they need to be aware of and work around, they will be less likely to put pressure on you to cross those boundaries.

Thank you. You're right, it would be a good opportunity. I need to focus on the positives, like how good I would feel about myself if I went through with it.
Problem is, it going to set off a lot of my triggers.

[Sunflower123]

I've never lied to get out of something because dishonesty makes me uncomfortable MPO. I agree with the other posters that stretching beyond your comfort zone may be a sign of growth and you may have a good time and feel great about yourself to boot.

If you haven't been given enough time to prepare and this is going to set off triggers then no, you shouldn't go.

[BBB2]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I've never lied to get out of something because dishonesty makes me uncomfortable MPO. I agree with the other posters that stretching beyond your comfort zone may be a sign of growth and you may have a good time and feel great about yourself to boot.

If you haven't been given enough time to prepare and this is going to set off triggers then no, you shouldn't go.

Thanks. Yeah, I agree with you and am trying to focus on the idea that I might just enjoy myself.

I'm getting stuck in spiral though. I try to think positive and then I remember everything that's worrying me...then I cry, have to calm down and start all over again.
I have a headache from crying and stressing over it.

I have bent the truth. For instance, when I fell down a stair case I was bruised but okay. But I had been looking for an excuse to get out of something that was giving me a great deal of anxiety so I told them my injury was worse than it was.

I recently stretched the truth about being sick in order to avoid another situation giving me a great deal of grief. I really was experiencing nausea (likely due to the anxiety) but I made it sound worse than it was too

[MistMoon]

Originally Posted by BBB2

I feel guilty for even considering it! But, I might do it...

It's something to do with work. I've had this dropped on me at the last minute. Most people probably wouldn't have a problem with it, but I do. I need more time to build myself up for things. If I do it I'll have responsibilities, hiding in the toilets won't be an option.

I don't have to do it. But, I'll have to give a good reason.

Don't know what to do. I know I should push myself out of comfort zone, but there will be no where to hide if things become too much. I need to have more control.

I feel like such a bad person. Devious and unreliable and lazy.

Let me just say that you are definitely not a bad person, nor are you devious, unreliable, or lazy.

The thought of ever being promoted or getting more responsibilities at work always made me anxious. Fear of failure or screwing up, all of those unpleasant thoughts.

I would say go for it and try straying from your comfort zone. Give yourself the chance to mess up, because no one is perfect!

Good luck to you.

[Unrigged64072835]

When my job became stressful I was lying quite a bit. I wouldn't recommend it because it caused even more anxiety.

Trying a new thing will always have some stress, so take the plunge.

[Mountaindewed]

When I worked at my last job, I would lie a lot and say I was sick and wanted to go home. I was actually just really anxious and I felt like I couldn't function.

I also lied one time and said that I had an appointment and couldn't work on a day I was scheduled when I really was just to anxious to work at the grocery store on a Sunday.

At my current job, my boss is pretty understanding, and I have explained what my issues are and he will let me leave early if I am struggling. Which I rarely do since the job is so much less stressful then the last one. So I don't feel the need to lie to them at this job.

[defyinggravity65]

Originally Posted by BBB2

I feel guilty for even considering it! But, I might do it...

It's something to do with work. I've had this dropped on me at the last minute. Most people probably wouldn't have a problem with it, but I do. I need more time to build myself up for things. If I do it I'll have responsibilities, hiding in the toilets won't be an option.

I don't have to do it. But, I'll have to give a good reason.

Don't know what to do. I know I should push myself out of comfort zone, but there will be no where to hide if things become too much. I need to have more control.

I feel like such a bad person. Devious and unreliable and lazy.

Yes. I have extreme anxiety and try to avoid my triggers whenever possible so I have lied to get out of things in the past. The feeling of getting out of something initially causes pure joy and bliss and an immense sense of comfort, but later I am always crippled by regret and saddened that I was dishonest for my own benefit yet again. I have said anything from being ill or having an appointment to saying there was a family emergency (when really the only emergency was the anxiety in my head).

[janeausten1231]

I've lied to get out of things many times. I like because of many reasons but mostly because I have severe guilt regarding the "why". Having anxiety or any other mental health condition is always understood by others. Alot of times I myself can't help but ask "why can't I just be normal and do this". Regarding your work situation, you know in your heart if you can do this project without a breakdown and if you know you can do it, then do it!! If you know it's beyond your mental ability to handle it say no and depending on your relationship with your boss the answer could be, it's not a good time for me to take on this task but thanks for the opportunity, please consider me again on the next time or if your boss knows about your anxiety them you could be more specific. I would just try to think about longevity in your career. Good luck!!

[lilypup]

I also have lied many times. Usually to get out of social commitments or work things. I will tell people I have a migraine or some sort of flu or something. I don't beat myself up about it. Nowadays most of my friends know I have depression so I just tell them the truth.

[battlesymphony]

I have lied plenty of times to get out of things that make me anxious. It's hard because then you have to feel the guilt of lying to someone. Are you able to tell someone that you feel anxious about doing this thing? Just noticed this is a bit of an older post so you might have already been through it. Hope you're doing ok.