dealing with the fear of "bad" days during my "good" days?

content note: mentions of depression, mentions of anxiety around death/illness of others (not detailed)

lately I've been having some "good" days (good as in I feel like I'm feeling supported, or I've worked through some things with my T, etc). but one thing I've noticed about my "good" days is that it often comes with the fear of crashing and returning to one of my "bad" days.

for example, I'll have a good day because I'm feeling supported by my friends even though I'm struggling. I'll think about how grateful I am for my good day--but then I'll suddenly get anxious about something awful happening to my friends, like illness, death, accidents, etc. then I either spend the rest of my day being anxious/sad (good day ruined), or I continue on but now carrying the fear of crashing into a bad day again...

part of me feels like I shouldn't be dividing myself into "good" and "bad" days anyway... but sometimes I do wish I could have one "good" day without fear.

does anyone else experience something similar? how do you usually work through this fear of crashing? hope this all makes sense.

I think we all, or at least most of us, have this experience to one extent or another. I certainly do. My all-purpose remedy for intrusive thoughts, as well as anxiety, fear, & other disturbing emotions is a technique referred to as "compassionate abiding". Perhaps you're familiar with it? If not, here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit.

thanks for this, Skeezyks! the link is really helpful--I've heard about this kind of mindfulness in various capacities but it's hard to find one this accessible. I appreciate it

I can relate to this so much. I’ve had several times when everything felt “good”. I’ve had one of those “good” days or nights and I’ll feel like something bad will happen. One time, I went to a dance at my college campus and it was a great night. The music was great and energetic, the people were awesome, and there was a lot of positive energy in the room. But later that night, there was a feeling of doom that something bad would happen. That feeling sucks. Even when I felt that something bad would happen, nothing bad really happened so it really shows me that anxiety is an illusion. Anxiety gives the illusion of doom and terror but it is really just a feeling.

My anxiety goes up and down. I wish I could manage it properly but things seem to get in the way. I think talking to someone may help. But don’t feel alone because I have experienced this on many occasions.

thanks for sharing your experience with this <3 yes, that particular experience is relatable--I'll be having a great time with friends and walk home all happy, but once I get home the worries begin. and your point about anxiety being an illusion sticks out to me because it definitely makes me doubt my emotional responses.

echoing your comment that I/we shouldn't feel alone in this. I'm not sure how to manage the anxiety either to be honest. but it's nice to remember I'm not the only one out there!