Driving/ riding in the car anxiety

I'm afraid to drive or ride in the car, especially on freeways. I live in a big city and the freeways go pretty fast.

I have seen a tdoc about this. We have worked on CBT. She had me make up a chart of -10, with 1 being easy places to drive that are close and 10 being driving on the freeway.

I'm supposed to drive at least every other day, but I am not. I even considered taking driving lessons to get me going again. (I am 58 and have driven 40 years or so.)

I have a BAD fear about parking between two cars. I am scared I will back out too slowly and people will honk at me. Or that I will turn the wheel incorrectly and hit the car next to me. I try to find pull through or very open parking.

I was depressed a few years ago, where I was so ill I could barely move and was on a ton of medications. My husband got in the habit of driving me everywhere. I also was on a long freeway trip and the driver pulled out to pass a truck. There was another truck coming right at us. Our driver was safe and he pulled right back but I was still terrified. I think some of this trouble can be traced to that.

What do you think? Is this hopeless? I hate to quit driving at my age. I have driven around some lately but I shake. My feet shake so bad I am afraid my foot will slip off the brake.

Well to some extent I think I understand.

I have been without a car for two years and drive extremely rarely. Now when I do I am very nervous. I seem to have lost confidence. I get you about the parking. For me it isn't the highway that is the problem. My fear is driving at night. I too worry about what others might think.

Have you done a "Decatrastrophizing Worksheet" for this fear? I learned these in my own CBT and found them to be quite helpful. I forget about this tool though - thanks for reminding me because I will be driving tonight with a stranger no less and I am really upset about it.

Here is a link to such a sheet. Why not give one a whirl and see if it helps.

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&sourc...8RSoFbF9QuGcQN

I'm not driving much anymore. Just turned 54 years old, and in the last 18 years, I’ve stopped driving on expressways and even unfamiliar routes.
My therapist wanted me to go on the expressway, just one exit and face the fear. I finally did it, and afterwards decided that I’m just too anxious to keep up with that experiment. Keep me posted on techniques that work for you.
Thanks Sans

I have a fear of driving as well. I've had panic attacks while driving and, quite honestly, people drive really aggressively around here. We're near a military base, a university, a hospital, a freeway, and a large shopping mall. That's a lot of traffic! My husband does a lot of the driving but I need to be prepared in case he goes to the hospital or has an MRI done while he's sedated.

I do drive around our neighborhood once in a while to keep myself familiar with the car. Just take a few turns and get used to parking. I think prolonged exposure therapy would help.

Thanks for the support. I am glad to know I am not alone.
One thing that has saved me is Uber. At least if I really want to go somewhere and can't get a ride, they will take me. Whoever invented it had a good idea.

Hi lilypup,
the good thing is that you could have developed this fear of the car earlier in your life, but luckily you didn't. And the fact - I assume you live in a rather large city, so public transport is probably well developed - that you don't absolutely need the car is a good thing too.
But I get what you mean - it probably feels like some sort of impairment, especially after you've been driving without any problem for so many years. Taking driving lessons again doesn't sound like a bad idea at all. You'll feel safe knowing that you're not the only one having the pedals and usually people are gentler when they see the driving school sign on a car. If you feel up to it, perhaps try to follow the plan your therapist and you set up, for example by taking short drives in residential zones, peripheral roads - wherever and whenever you feel comfortable, but as you would eat for a diet (less but more often). I think asking someone for company could be of great help too. They could help you see things more objectively, e.g. when you're pulling out of a parking, remind you that the other cars have brakes too!

Is there someone close to you or in your support network you feel comfortable enough to take with you?

So I am going to hijack this thread. I absolutely feel for the original poster.

Well I bought a car three days ago - and I am nervous as hell to drive it. It is new and I am afraid of doing something to it. It is new and I am unfamiliar with it. I am new to the City and don't know my way around. I am out of practise of basic skills like parallel parking. So, in three days I have had the car out twice for a total of perhaps 15min. She has sat collecting dust basically since it was delivered to me.

Nervousness barely describes the problem.

Now, back to the original poster...

How have things been going? Were you able to drive this week and how did that go for you? Has doing so with a supportive person been helpful?

If you are determined to keep driving, I would definitely consider getting driving lessons! For your own safety and the safety of others on the road. Maybe there are even instructors around who have experience with anxious drivers.

Great advice and something to think about.