Sometimes I don't even realize it.

I don't know if any of you experience this but sometimes I don't even realize how much anxiety I live with on a day-to-day basis. I think this is partly because it used to manifest itself as panic disorder-- I would have sometimes up to five full-blown panic attacks per day. Once this stopped it obviously made the anxiety seem a lot less, but then it began to manifest itself in different ways. With the panic attacks the anxiety was so obvious and in my face. Now with the generalized anxiety it doesn't keep from functioning the way the panic attacks did.... and I guess I'm so used to living like this now and glad I'm not having those panic attacks, that sometimes I don't even notice how bad my anxiety is. I live with such a constant level of anxiety and I feel it mentally and physically... but it is only sometimes that I stop and say-- holy %#@&#!-- this is bad, or this is interfering. This just came to mind because I'm sitting at my desk eating lunch and I suddenly realized that I was obsessing over how something just doesn't feel right-- or things don't look right... and I know it's all anxiety but then I end up getting anxious over the anxiety. A double layer. Then I just stop and think for a second about how I wish I could just calm down and enjoy my lunch rather than having my mind racing.

I hear you pinksoil, I just wish my mind would turn off sometimes without me having to take copious amounts of pills to feel calm right now.

I worry about stupid things, then get physical signs like pins and needles, and recently earache and nick pain, I also get optical migraines a lot with zigzag lights nad they leave a headache.

jinny x

pinksoil,

I can completely relate. It does seem like when I don't have strong "symptoms" I sometimes overlook the anxiety. Of course, it always catches up. It's almost like I turn around and feel like I've forgotten to breathe for a little while....my chest is heavy, but it just stays there, no attack, no tears, just a heaviness. But we ARE breathing and we ARE functioning.....there's alot to be said for that some days!!!

Wishing you a peaceful, mindless lunch tomorrow

Goldi

I think it has to do with the spectrum of anxiety.. and.. well maybe this metaphor will make sense..

Sort of like if you were standing downtown, and a building collapsed, and then shortly after a couple of windows broke in the building next door. You would probably be so focused on the collapsed building that you wouldn't pay much mind to the broken windows... doesn't mean it wouldnt still affect you though in some way, you just might not be focusing on it.

I do experience the same thing though.

I'm there with you, pinksoil. It always seems that when I finally get a breather, the anxiety kicks in. There's the heaviness in the chest and the feeling that something is amiss and must be fixed. In the quiet, my mind races, sometimes running away with me. I focus on the smallest of upsets; the pressure builds. Soon, I'm focused on the anxiety itself, frustrated that I can't just turn it off.

I often think I could easily accept the periodic bouts of anxiety if I were focused on the really big stuff, not the trivial daily trials and tribulations. I mean, there are certain things in life that should provoke a little anxiety, right? A new job. The health concerns of a loved one. But those things don't deter me, not in the least. Nope, it's the little stuff. I'd compare it to having a splinter in your finger. The splinter's small. It shouldn't do a lot of damage. But, man, that sucka really stings. ; )