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#1
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Anxiety, for me, used to be a lot worse. I used to not only have severe social anxiety, but also hypochondria. Luckily, hypochondria has kind of worn away as I have gotten older. What has not worn away though, is my social anxiety.
I’ll always watch people be happy, and act normally, and it just upsets me. Why is it so hard for me to just live a normal life? I’ll try something new every now and then, and I always end up just wanting to go home. When I do anything, it’s like I’m seeing everything from a distance, and then I focus so much on that that I can’t walk straight without focusing on walking. When I walk, I focus on how I walk, I always try to walk normally, my posture straight up, and one foot infront of the other, but I always end up tripping over myself. On top of all of this, I have a friend, my best friend, who always laughs at me. She makes me so insecure about myself, and whenever I try and get her to stop, she doesn’t listen and just laughs even more. I try to be assertive, but I’m just passive. I don’t usually stand up for myself, but when I do, I’m not taken seriously. Sometimes, I just want to run away. I want to be me, I want to meet new people, and i want to live freely. Going to the same school everyday, waiting for the same people to walk together to class in silence, being humiliated for the same things. Though, sometimes there’s a little spice, and something I’ve long forgotten about is dug up, and I get in trouble for it. It’s funny how one day, we will all die. None of this even matters, yet all I can think about is “putting one foot infront of the other.” |
![]() Marla500, mote.of.soul, Skeezyks
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![]() Teemosfoe
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#2
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I'm constantly barraged with thoughts of things I've done wrong in my life, embarrassing situations I got myself into, & ways in which I failed to live up to the image I once had of who I was. It literally never ends!
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__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
![]() Marla500, Marylin, mote.of.soul
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![]() lily from paris
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#3
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I have started meditation.I struggle with anxiety and social anxiety I fear embarrassing myself when around people especially strangers or people I am just getting to know.I look back though and things have been a lot worse due to being abused by my narcissist sister I was agoraphobic for nine years back in the 90's,so even though things get bad I know they can be and have been a lot worse.Nowdays as I get older I lack physical energy and stamina and I have chronic physical illness like diabetes 2 and hypothroidism and sleep apnea I am always tired.I am trying to lose weight and get fit.It is hard.
I think The Realer Boss you need to stop mixing with that girl that laughs at you when you assert your needs ,she can't be good for your confidence and self esteem ,you need to show people that do that that you won't put up with them.You can be free and make friends that treat you like you deserve to be treated with respect,and not ignore you when you assert your rights.Next time you assert yourself make it clear what the consequences are if your friend ignores you tell her you will end your relationship with her and follow through then people will respect you more. |
![]() mote.of.soul
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#4
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Thanks for sharing....
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