[bellaviolet]

met with new t today..... she gave me ocd dx along with gad and depression (i was expecting those 2). i was like, are you sure? she says yes i'm sure. i never would have thought it was ocd..... i thought it was just anxiety. i thought my checking was just me being a worrier. i thought my number issue was just a quirk. so........ ocd? feels weird to think about that in relation to myself. i meet with the pdoc in 3 weeks...... t is suggesting luvox. i'll have to do some research on that.

anyway still kind of surprised its ocd. i never would have thought it. my "homework" she gave me is to tell myself everytime i want to check the door or the stove that its "just my ocd trying to trick me." i told her i dont think thats gonna stop me from checking. she says i can still check as long as i tell myself its ocd and not real. she says eventually, with the tx and meds, it will start to work. but i couldnt imagine not checking. i ALWAYS check. why does it have to be ocd? maybe its just me. anyway just typing thoughts here. anyone else get a surprise ocd dx?

[Buckeye]

My T also thinks I an OCD I don;t see it nor does my wife. still trying to figure it out

[bellaviolet]

welcome to pc buckeye (saw that its your 1st post)...... i think for me i just felt blindsided, maybe because i thought the gad (which i was expecting a dx of) explained the checking and worrying. but a little while ago i took the ocd quiz here at pc and scored very high (maybe try the quiz, just for the heck of it?). i still think of ocd as involving major germophobia, having to close the door a certain number of times, etc...... but also, looking it up in the disorders section i gues i have some symptoms. maybe its just a mild case, though t seems very focused on it. anyway i'm glad you found pc, this is a good place, hope you will stick around........ good luck with the figuring out, i think we can all relate to that.....

[sunrise]

bella, there are different degrees of everything. Sometimes I think getting a diagnosis can make us think we are worse off than we are. If you have mild OCD (it seems like it must be quite mild if it the dx was a surprise to you) and check the iron and stove sometimes, is it a problem for you? Maybe it is just being safe and doesn't negatively impact your life. If that's all, does it require medication? It seems there is a line somewhere beyond which medication might be useful. If you don't feel you are over the line, maybe you don't need meds for OCD? What is the harm in occasionally checking to see if the iron is on? Heck, I sometimes return to the house after I've gone out to my car just to check if I left the stove on. There have been times I indeed found the stove on and it could have caused a fire if I had left it that way all day. No one was hurt by my behavior, certainly I wasn't. Now if I did this multiple times each day, it might be a problem. But I might do it a couple of times a month. Unless OCD is really a problem in your life, I hope you won't focus too much on the diagnosis. Sometimes I think psychologists who are eager to put names to all of our quirks and "problems" do more harm than good.

[bellaviolet]

sunrise........ i check every day, usually more than once. i check the door (thats my big thing), i check the stove, i check that the blowdryer is unplugged and the doors are shut on my pets' cages and i didnt leave the coffeemaker on. i've been late to work a couple times but so what? and yeah, i have number phobias, some numbers i just dont like, big deal. i wont deny any of it. i just never thought of any of it as ocd. i think of ocd and i think of people who have to close the door 3 times, or have to wash their hands constantly, or have to have their stuff in perfect order. so is it ocd or is it part of the gad? am i in denial cause i don't want to have ocd? i dont know. i was surprised is all. i dont know if shes right or wrong. does my checking interfere with my life? sometimes. but is it ocd? thats all i'm wondering.

[pachyderm]

OCD is an anxiety disorder. And I agree with sunrise: don't pay too much attention to diagnoses. Pay attention to what your symptoms mean to you.

[LizardL8y]

OCD can stand alone as its own anxiety disorder, or can be a symptom of generalized anxiety. Movies like As Good As It Gets and The Aviator show a very small idea of what OCD is and often we think those are the symptoms. They can be, but every OCD is different. The key is anxiety that causes you to obsess about things (in your case obsessing that you have checked everything) and compulsions (in your case going around AND checking those things) are what OCD is all about. Phobias are extremely common with this disorder. My mom was so sure I didn't have OCD when I was diagnosed because I didn't show those common symptoms - my room was always a mess, I never openned and closed doors or spent hours writing and re-writing homework. But digging into it and finding out how MY symptoms related to those things made me realize that yes, in fact, it IS OCD after all. I've been in treatment for years (both meds and behavioral therapy) and now my OCD is very minimal and totally livable - it only gets bad when I am sick or have severe anxiety about something.
You say "so what" but being late to work to check things isn't good. Your boss will eventually probably have a real problem with that. You will be amazed how much better you will feel if you get past it! And know, you are not alone. This is a very common and totally treatable disorder. Some don't even need meds for it... that depends on severity.
Take care,
LizardL8y

[AAAAA]

The same thing happened to me! At first I was shocked. As I became more informed on the subject a lot of the things I do and the way I do them make sense now. I had thought that OCD meant someone that compulsively cleans, that is not me unless I'm off my antidepressants and am in manic mode. I thought everybody had a way of doing things and got frustrated and irritated when things weren't done the right way, ie my way.

[Perna]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
bellaviolet said:
i still think of ocd as involving major germophobia,

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

There's two distinct aspects, "obsessive" and "compulsive" and they're not always both present in the same person. Not all people who worry/obsess about germs on doorknobs also compulsively check or count and vice versa. You said you don't think you'll stop checking; that's what makes a compulsion, when you "can't" stop, are compelled to check.

The GAD "worrying" isn't the same as doing. GAD is in your head, OCD is "action" :-)

bellaviolet... I know how surprising it can be! I didn't have a clue about me having OCD until I saw a doc in fall 2004. I got pretty angry... because I couldn't believe it.

Compulsions are both thoughts and actions... it's the thought that creates the actions. You can also have thought without actions... obsessions.
I have both compulsions and obsessions. My OCD is not at all as bad as it was back in 2004... I've gone through CBT ( Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and I'm taking meds. CBT is hard work.... but so worth it!

(((((((((((( bellaviolet ))))))))))))))) pm me if you ever feel alone in this...

[bellaviolet]

(((pachyderm)))
(((lizardl8y)))
(((aaaaa)))
(((perna)))
((((poetrylover))))

thank you to everyone for replying....... i really appreciate it....

i've been away for awhile, been reevaluating things. i've done a lot of reading on ocd and can't deny the dx anymore. i guess i didn't know as much about it as i thought i did. all those things i thought were quirks were symptoms. "obsessions and compulsions." the constant anxiety over the door and the stove and the building burning down, the checking, the number phobias, my need to have my dvds in alphabetical order and my books sorted by size....... even picking at my face, which i've been ragged on for by my sister for years.... i never knew this was what ocd was. i guess now i know. but even though the anxiety sucks, and that need to check things sucks, i'm really scared to change. it's been years and years that i've been doing these things. feels like it's part of who i am, and if it stops, who am i??? i'm still gonna try, but i'm scared. it's like changing myself into a different person or something. damn. i kind of wish i still thought i was just a freak.

[wickedwings]

((((bella)))) i grew thinking i was a freak when i had ocd. i had facial tics among other symptoms. over the years during high school, i figured out on my own how to manage it, and i didn't even go into therapy for it. sure, i fall into ocd when i'm in the midst of chaos once in a rare while, but i eventually get control of it. lol, i've been on a ton of meds for my depression that would have helped ocd (i didn't know they were used for ocd as well), and they didn't do the trick when my ocd went out of control once in a rare while.

[rebelchick]

bella, one thing you need to know, as others have mentioned, is OCD has many sides to it. I don't wash my hands 50 times a day, but you will NEVER see me use a towel that wasn't washed by ME &/or washed with someone else's items. I don't shut the door 8 times, but I WILL NOT get out of the "wrong" side of the bed in the morning or go to bed without closing my closet door. Just because you don't realize your issues as OCD does not mean that you do not have them. If you do not trust your therapists diagnosis, I would go for a second opinion before I would ever suggest not taking medicine if your doctor thought you needed it. Become educated about your issues. The quiz on here really points out alot you never realized before about OCD and anxiety and how they walk 'hand in hand.' I am not saying a doctor or therapist would never misdiagnose, but more often than not WE are the ones making the error by not researching what the doctors tell us. It is okay to make sure you turned off the iron, but I will go as far as to say that even thinking about it more than that could lead to some dangerous behavior IF you did several things this way. For example, you only checked things once (or even twice), but you had a certain routine you did it in every day that was even slightly disturbing to your lifestyle. Even "slightly" disturbing is DISTURBING. Do not be in denial about this. I am not saying you are, just warning you not to be. I have lived with severe OCD for years, going undiagnosed, which is COMMON, because YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW SERIOUS YOUR PROBLEMS ARE. We think they are 'normal' and have them all rationed out in our heads, but that is where the rational thought is QUICKLY stopped in its tracks. I hope you can find out what you need to so you can begin recovery. And remember, just because you have a messy room DOES NOT mean you DON'T have OCD! LOL ( I read that earlier and that is SO me! )

[rebelchick]

Sorry.... some of what I wrote was unneccessary... I am new to these forums... usually when it comes to a place you can reply, you have already read everything written... didn't know there were more pages. Sorry for the redundant things.