What to do with this repeating fear?

I don`t know. have tried many times.
I know i didn`t except my feelings enough and without patience jumped straight to GETTING RID of them.

but regardless..even when i am %#@&#! crying...even now...free to feel
This time for real

I don`t want to stay with the fear
Hey what do you think it`s about?

STUDIES!!!!!
yes again! damn it.
but i feel like that what can i do?
I have home work for tomorrow. and for the whole week.
but my room is so messy and i hate it and i started to clean everything and i know it`s Gonna take a lot of time

i know that after i am done it will be a good feeling for me becasue I HATE MESS. but i know it will be somewhat late and i don`t know how the illustration will go. but if i don`t clean my rood RIGHT NOW it will stay messy for the rest of the week as long asfar as i know myself.

HO GOD
it is SO STUPID because my feelings and thought will not change reality. it is either a matter of doing or not doing THAT`S ALL!

Why the %#@&#! is it such a horrible drama for me?

I have been experiencing all this bad self asteem becasue of luck of success in class when the works are hanigng next to each other adn mine used to be WORSE

then there was always that problem with HOW TO DO IT BOTH FAS AND GOOD quality???

But at least not to live with the fear of loosing control again?

i an just so sick of those "side effects" of studies that i am so used to create.
i am aware of everything. it`s my 3rd %#@&#! year.
but what the heck does it help

all i wanna do is LIFE
feel NORMAL?
why is it like that?

(((((((((((((((( lady ))))))))))))))))))

Maybe you can try to do a little bit of one thing...then a little bit of another thing....then take a break and go back to the other thing for a bit. Try breaking it down into smaller pieces instead of stressing yourself out with the "whole" thing that looks unsurmountable??

Of course going through all this anxiety over it stops you in your tracks and then you get very little accomplished right? So if you can break it down for yourself...maybe you will see the things getting done and that will help motivate you to stay on course and feel less of the anxiety.

I hope you find something that works for you hon. I know it's no fun to feel like you are feeling.


sabby

If you can't stand the mess and cleaning it is keeping you from your school work; go elsewhere to do your school work (library) for a bit. Alternate! Do a good chunk of school then a chunk of cleaning, back and forth. Don't let the "mess" distract you from the fears you imagine about the school work. More than half our fears come from imagining the future, which we can't do because it's not here yet! Break down the school work so the chunk is doable and not scary and just do that. Then break down a piece of the cleaning so it's doable and just do that, back and forth.

I can relate-in college I couldn't study in my room because I got distracted when I saw other things to do.

I'd go to the library where I had to concentrate on ONLY MY STUDIES!

Happy holidays and hope this helps!

OCDC

Thanks you all guys.... for the understanding..

(((((((((Sabby))))))))))))
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Perna said:
Don't let the "mess" distract you from the fears you imagine about the school work. More than half our fears come from imagining the future, which we can't do because it's not here yet! .

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Yes this is so true, we imaigne. my T used to say it too.

Ocdhcick. i see you have been throught the same....great for you it`s OVER. i am dreaming about it! i will try what you say.