[NYX78912]

It's a massive misconception that people who suffer with social anxiety like being alone, or at least that has been my experience. But I hate being alone. I hate losing all my friends because I can't leave the house, I hate never being able to get to know anyone new, and most of all I hate knowing that I will never find love because I can't talk to another human being.

Does anybody have any experience with maintaining or forming new romantic relationships when they can't even leave the house for fear of even being seen by another human being?

I have no one left in my life.

[Yaowen]

Dear NYX78912,

There is so much truth in what you say. As someone who is very isolated, I can certainly identify with what you write about. Wish I had some insight and wisdom to share, but sadly I am not doing so well myself in a similar situation. I hope that things could somehow be better for you. You deserve better.

Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen

[NYX78912]

Originally Posted by Yaowen

Dear NYX78912,


There is so much truth in what you say. As someone who is very isolated, I can certainly identify with what you write about. Wish I had some insight and wisdom to share, but sadly I am not doing so well myself in a similar situation. I hope that things could somehow be better for you. You deserve better.


Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen

Thank you for taking the time to read about my problems and respond. It means a lot that there is someone in the world that understands how I feel. It's nice to know I'm not alone but I am also deeply sorry to think that you (or anyone else) are suffering in the same way. I hope that you find your way out of this abyss, and if you do, I hope you will share your story. Until that time, I am here if you wish to discuss how miserable our lives are or even just to try help each other find a reason to smile.
Again, thank you.

[AzulOscuro]

I don’t think there is a misconception about us not wanting to connect. If someone think this is social anxiety, this person doesn’t know a bit of this.
In my opinion it’s just the oposite. We value so much connections that we are very afraid of them not going well or us, not being good enough. This is how I see it, at least.

In my case, if it can be help for you somehow, I met my partner online. So, I took my time to know him bit by bit and with enough distance to grow a needed confidence. In another way, it would be very hard to say the least.

[MsLady]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

In my case, if it can be help for you somehow, I met my partner online. So, I took my time to know him bit by bit and with enough distance to grow a needed confidence.

I tried online dating as well and married someone from a site. I suffer from social anxiety, too, and it can be debilitating sometimes. I've been fortunate to have children who "forced" me to be more social due to scenarios I couldn't ignore (daycare, school system, etc.)

Try online and practice social skills. Give it plenty of time and maybe a nice date will come of it. Filter very carefully!

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by MsLady

I tried online dating as well and married someone from a site. I suffer from social anxiety, too, and it can be debilitating sometimes. I've been fortunate to have children who "forced" me to be more social due to scenarios I couldn't ignore (daycare, school system, etc.)

Try online and practice social skills. Give it plenty of time and maybe a nice date will come of it. Filter very carefully!

I unluckily didn’t have children and I guess it would make me force to go out of my comfort zone much more. I do understand you.

Social anxiety may be so paralysing in many aspects in your life. Nearly everything has to do with relations with people: Most of works, University, friendship, love, many hobbies...
And yes, social skills and facing to these moments of anxiety by using them in the way you may use them in a point in time are helpful. Of course, you are not gonna get cured but you can progress and get some kind of desensitisation to certain circumstances.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by NYX78912

It's a massive misconception that people who suffer with social anxiety like being alone, or at least that has been my experience. But I hate being alone. I hate losing all my friends because I can't leave the house, I hate never being able to get to know anyone new, and most of all I hate knowing that I will never find love because I can't talk to another human being.

Does anybody have any experience with maintaining or forming new romantic relationships when they can't even leave the house for fear of even being seen by another human being?

I have no one left in my life.

I want to be a little positive with you because I do really believe it in spite of how hard this mental illness is.
I know it’s very paralysing when wanting to achieve many, many things in your life but romantic love is possible. Once we get to know the right person and get enough confidence with him, we may be pretty normal. I know our possibility to meet one of these right people is not very high in our case, but they are there. Keep your faith.

Another thing I would like to share with you. I had to be for a long time with my partner, being only friends, it was difficult for me to trust and it makes things easier for me to feel less pressure but I count this period as a very important one, too.

[mountainstream]

[NYX78912]

Thank you all for your support and kind works. I will certainly be practicing my social skills online before venturing out, and I think your idea of being friends first AzulOscuro is a good one. I think that would help me a lot too.

[Starving2death]

I have a lot of experience with being alone. I was in a few relationships when I was younger but no longer. I too hate the isolation;. Sure I don't want to get sick but I'd like to live my life too.

Do you talk to anyone when you go out? Even small talk helps to meet people. Try to talk to people when you have the opportunity. MAke sure that you get out enough. If you don't get out enough we all start to feel like shut-ins.

Sign up for a class or another activity that'will give you more opportunities to meet potential friends.