I normally post in the Depression areas on Psych Central. This is my first post on Anxiety, and I do have that.

This morning I got a message from the manager at where I live saying that the downstairs neighbors feel that I'm making too much noise. That I'm stomping and dropping things. The manager asked me if I would be more aware of it. I try to be as quiet as I can be.

The neighbors complained about me a year ago (I had just moved in) when I was working out in my unit. Since they complained, I quit doing that particular exercise and did something else. It seemed to have worked out better.

Why did it take them so long to complain? It's been about a whole year. And they never told me directly. The manager told me not to talk to them because they are shy. I wish they would tell me instead of going through the manager.

And now I feel like I'm running scared. It's too bad because things have been going very well for me. I like the place I live at a lot, but I'm not crazy about my neighbors. I want to move eventually, but I'm not ready for it yet.

[88Butterfly88]

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this. I agree the neighbors should have told you directly. I hope you can manage to be quieter without being quite as nervous about it. Though I have to ask, do you think there is any possibility the manager is making this up to try to evict you for some other reason, perhaps to charge someone else higher rent? I just find it so strange that they don't want you to mention it to the neighbors, it almost seems fishy to me.

[MsLady]

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Though I have to ask, do you think there is any possibility the manager is making this up to try to evict you for some other reason, perhaps to charge someone else higher rent? I just find it so strange that they don't want you to mention it to the neighbors, it almost seems fishy to me.

Oh, yikes. Highly speculative and anxiety provoking!

The neighbours below are "shy". This could mean they're non-confrontational, or anxious people, or scared to approach a stranger. Maybe they've had negative experiences in their past that they've now opted to speak directly to the manager. There's nothing "fishy" IMO.

I'd respect the boundary and be more mindful. Having said that, sometimes it's just a structural issue one is unable to avoid. So don't walk on tippy-toes. Don't second guess yourself. If you drop something, big deal. If it happens a lot, talk with your doctor.. or slow down a bit.

If the manager speaks with you again, let him know the changes you have made. If the neighbours are that unhappy, they can choose to live elsewhere.

Originally Posted by MsLady

Oh, yikes. Highly speculative and anxiety provoking!

The neighbours below are "shy". This could mean they're non-confrontational, or anxious people, or scared to approach a stranger. Maybe they've had negative experiences in their past that they've now opted to speak directly to the manager. There's nothing "fishy" IMO.

I'd respect the boundary and be more mindful. Having said that, sometimes it's just a structural issue one is unable to avoid. So don't walk on tippy-toes. Don't second guess yourself. If you drop something, big deal. If it happens a lot, talk with your doctor.. or slow down a bit.

If the manager speaks with you again, let him know the changes you have made. If the neighbours are that unhappy, they can choose to live elsewhere.

First of all, I want to say thanks to you MS Lady & 88Butterfly88 for replying.

I just want to give a little background about me and my place. A year ago, before I moved in, I asked my manager if I could work out with weights in my unit. She said I could. I did what I could do to try to make it less noisy. It went well for a while and then the downstairs neighbors (mother & daughter) complained about two months later. So I had to give up the weights. And now, just yesterday, they complained again; and it's been at least nine months I would say. Why did they wait so long?

I agree that they may have fears of confronting a neighbor making noise. I'm very much the same way. At another place I lived at, I reported people for making too much noise instead of confronting them. I don't feel comfortable confronting people; plus I didn't want to speak to them because I was alone and the neighbors were in a clan or gang. So I'd be outnumbered. And about a couple of years ago when I lived in a condo, I asked my downstairs neighbors to "tone it down". They practically threatened to kill me. There were no managers at that place to intervene if there was a problem.

OK, now back to this issue. I think I know what the problem is about dropping things and I have changed my ways about it. That's easy. But the walking around - I have been walking the way I do for over 60 years! So that's going to be hard to just change that. My friend told me he notices that I could be making a lot of noise when I walk. Because I walk on my heals. Instead I should walk on the balls of my feet.

I have always wanted to live on the top floor of places because I feel like the top floor has the control. I have lived below others before, and even the most quiet people can make a racket. They can't help it. Plus, I agree about the structure thing.

Stuff like this makes me want to live out in the sticks somewhere. I'm just so sick of living in apartments with other people. I've done it for over 30 years. I am planning on that someday, but I'm scared about it. Plus, I feel like I'm running scared of where I am now. I live in a nice place, but now I feel like it's been ruined.

[sarahsweets]

Maybe I am alone in this but I think you have made efforts to adjust enough already and they should just learn to deal with it. Unless you are doing laps at midnight or dropping your weights from a 10ft ladder when you live on the second floor you do that with the understanding that you will have upstairs neighbors. Is this late at night? Are you violating a noise ordinance ? I do not think so. and I do not think your landlord should have anything more to say to you about it, the next step should be for them to have the landlord tell them that people are allowed to walk around and do exercises and live their lives and it might make noise. My daughter just had a baby. The baby is a new born and cries during the day and night. She does her best but its a baby. Her landlord cant tell her to be quiet if the neighbors have an issue. If what you are doing is during the day then they need to chill out.

[unaluna]

Of course you walk on your heels. People dont normally walk on the balls of their feet.

Do you wear slippers or other soft shoes in the house? Are there rugs or carpeting? Can you add some?

Maybe get a white noise machine and place it near an air vent in the area where they might be getting the most noise?

Really they cant expect it to be absolutely quiet. I hear my side neighbors, but not up or down. We are carpeted here.

[88Butterfly88]

Hi again Will,

I'm sorry if I caused you any additional anxiety with my suggestion about your neighbors, honestly that was probably just my paranoia coming through. Once again I am sorry to hear you are dealing with this. I tend to agree with Sarah, and Una is right that people don't normally walk on the balls of their feet. I would recommend not working out in the middle of the night just to avoid waking anybody but otherwise I think it's possible your neighbors may be a little oversensitive. I hope you are able to relax.

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Hi again Will,

I'm sorry if I caused you any additional anxiety with my suggestion about your neighbors, honestly that was probably just my paranoia coming through. Once again I am sorry to hear you are dealing with this. I tend to agree with Sarah, and Una is right that people don't normally walk on the balls of their feet. I would recommend not working out in the middle of the night just to avoid waking anybody but otherwise I think it's possible your neighbors may be a little oversensitive. I hope you are able to relax.

HI Butterfly

Thank you. I've never worked out in the middle of the night. I couldn't do that anyways. I work out around 5:30 PM and it's only for a little more than a half hour. They are not weights that I work out with. They are band-resistance.

I think you are right about them being oversensitive. It seemed like the manager mentioned something about them going through a hard time, I guess. I figured out what I have done and will modify my ways. I hope there will be no more problems.

will19 it sounds like you aren't breaking any tenant laws in your building with your weight training. I think you should just let it go. You've talked to your manager about it and are in the clear as far as the noise goes from your weight training during normal waking hours. Its one of the downfalls of living on the top floors of apartment buildings. I have lived on every floor of apartment buildings and there is no one "perfect floor." It's mostly who your neighbors are. If they are jerks who live below or above you, nothing you can do except report them to your building manager and hope for the best outcome.

Your neighbors are just nitpicky people. You can't change that about them unfortunately. You are legally allowed to weight lift in your apartment during waking hours. They are just jerks.