[StarPonysMama]

Oh, this is going to be long. But #1 - I need to vent. #2 - I need to know if some type of anxiety medication may help me to chill out about this stuff, it just seems like I"m always soooo tired, and stressed and quite frankly always P.O.'d.

First, for those who don't know, I had my last drink 01/26/08 and I am still happily sober. I know that I have used drinking to cope with the following and I don't have any desire to use it as a crutch again. However, I'd like a little help maybe.....or to know if I'm just overreacting.

#1 - My mom.....on top of feeling like the world owes her something (and this is no joke) has a rare disorder that causes leaking in her retina (I think?) and it is causing her to loose her central vision. The injections cost $750.00 every 10 weeks to stop the bleeding and save as much vision as possible. We've started donation jars but now, it has all of a sudden become my responsibility to handle all the money, finances, etc. And my EX boyfriend is selling cakes for her down at his store. Which throws in an interesting thing of obligation. I also do the ex's books which rarely becomes a problem. I go to the store, get the paperwork and the laptop take it home and return it the next day. That simple. ON top of this my mother makes me feel like everytime I take a day off work or do something for myself that I'm being selfish. She lives in a 25 year old mobile home and mine is a 2000. While I was in Texas visiting my dad's side of the family, she let my brother take my $3500 four wheeler and total it. She claimed she was going to get the neighbor to pay half since it was actually HIS son that was driving it. She never followed through with anything and now I have the wrecked $3500.00 four wheeler in my yard.

Now the next situation. My ex has a store in the small town we live in. He hired a friend of his that is female to be his delivery driver. I tried to express that this was a bad idea but, lets just say, that I was not "around" when all of this took place. NOW, the girl has stolen from him. And she's always broke and asking him to borrow money or get advances on her check. It's every single week. She took a $50.00 bill to buy them lunch one day and never returned the change. Now she took the company credit card and withdrew $30.00 cash from it without permission. He won't stand up to her. And I refuse to clean up the books due to her mess and trying to figure out taking money out and putting it back in for no reason. Also the cash drawer is $60.00 short. He gripes because he says he asks her to do things and she never does them. But, then he never stands up to her about any of this. It just drives me nuts because I can't understand how someone can just let someone run all over them! And when I ask him WHY he just says, "I guess I'm just a nice guy." After all her theft of company time, not doing what she is told, and asking for advance after advance, he GAVE her the company credit card to put $40.00 in gas in her car. HOW IS IT THE COMPANY'S PROBLEM THAT SHE HAS POOR MONEY MANAGEMENT?

It just stresses me out and I don't know HOW to let it go. I think awwwwww, don't worry about the 4 wheeler ........it's just a 4 wheeler. But, then I think my bejezus, that was my hard earned money and now look at it. And my mom did not follow up out of laziness, or the social anxiety that I think she suffers from. But why should I have to pay for it. The damage is nearly as much as the 4 wheeler's worth. And why should I DEAL WITH IT when SHE was the one who let it happen? I was 916 miles away when it happened. Oh yeah, and when I got back she tried to push it off on my boyfriend to fix - would you believe that?

And then I think I can let the business things go with this girl but then it angers me because at the end of the day I am the one who has to account for the money. She does nothing and makes my job harder and his too and he won't stand up to her! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? I'm getting ready to just dump it in his lap and say he can do his own books if he wants to keep people like that. She's been there a month and has stolen. IT is only going to get worse and I have to figure out how to account for it?

[gimmeice]

((((((starponysmama)))))))) I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time right now.

[lilkat05]

I'm sorry that things are so messed up right now, but you should be given an award for being so nice. As for the books at you're ex's that you do, I'd just tell him that you can't legally "fix" the problem. The family situation is another story, I've learned that no matter how hard it is, that its usually better to just let it go.

I wish I could be of more help, and I'm hoping that things improve.

[splitimage]

Sounds like you've got a lot of crappy situations that are completely outside of your control.

That totally sucks about your 4 wheeler yes it's just a 4 wheeler, but it's your 4 wheeler. It might be a pain since your Mother isn't following up, but can you go after the neighbour for some of the money.

As for you ex-bf and his problem employee, I hate to say it but this is the time to take a live and let live approach to the problem. If he's willing to be taken advantage of you can't change that. As for cleaning up the books, set her up as an accounts recievable and keep track of the money she's taken, borrowed whatever. At some point it will be his choice to either collect or write it off as bad debt, but you'll have done your job of looking after the books and keeping him informed.

And don't let anyone make you feel guilty for taking time out for yourself. We all need a break once in a while for the sake of our own sanity,, so you should feel to take as much me time as you need.

splitimage

[StarPonysMama]

Thanks to you all. It just makes me feel better knowing I'm not NUTS for feeling the way I do.

(((Splitimage)))) I know you work in accounting too and how frustrating it is to keep up with other people's screw ups.

It's just aggravation.

I guess I'll just do the best I can with what I have to work with. It's all I can do. And if people want to give me crap about taking a day off - I just wont listen and I'll chalk it up to them being jealous.

I've worked HARD for my days off - LOL - and they're mine to enjoy. I suppose I just have to learn when to STOP and take care of myself.

I hate to say this - but sometimes I feel like my mom is a child. It's sad, but true. She is very co-dependent. Thus, one of the reasons I am nearly 30 and still have no kids. It's not the ONLY reason but, it certainly has alot to do with it!

UGH

I'm going to try to start working out again tonight. Maybe it will relieve some of the tension.

Thanks to all.

[splitimage]

Working out is a great idea. I find it always helps me relieve stress, and even better if your gym has a hot tub or sauna, then you can sit in it as a nice treat for yourself. I hate exercise but when I do it, I always reward myslef with a soak or a bit of a bake in the sauna.

[StarPonysMama]

I also told the ex last night about his books, I said, "She is trouble, you should fire her, she makes my job harder and the longer you let it ride, the worse it is going to be. That is how I feel about it. Now I am going to drop it and you can do with it what you want. I will make you aware of money she owes the company and my job is done. What you do with it after that is up to you and I'm not going to stress over it.". YEP, just like that.

He didn't like it much, but it made me feel better.

I also told him since I'm not getting paid and all this has been an upheval for me, I'm not stressing about this business. I did not choose to start it. He said I gripe at him all the time and I simply told him that I already have a full time job and that the last thing I wanted in a part time job was chaos because the owner uses no methodology to any decisions. Don't think he liked that either.

I told him he could put me on the payroll instead of doing me favors.

That would make me feel better.

Little does he know I'm just going to have him pay me as an independent contractor and I will take care of the taxes. I don't want him to think I am HIS employee. Too much stress with that.

Ahhhh,

I feel better already.