[RozG]

ok, this should prob be in the relationships forum...but...it's just threw my anxiety levels through the roof so...sorry to any poor mod who maybe has to waste time moving it...i post where i feel it's appropriate at the time is all.

well...oh blue bananas man...i just got a note shoved thru my door...from my baby sis saying she's just checked into a hotel in the city and she'll call back to see me tomorrow.

no "do i mind? do i even want to see her?"

and that shows just how little she knows me...with my ptsd which she knows about...i can't take things being sprung on me that quick.

and with my amnesia...which she also knows about...she's a stranger to me....and...bosh i don't need this atm!

[Rio_]

(((Kalamity_Jane))) I'm sorry, that must be tough. Is there any way you can contact her? Maybe you could set a date for seeing her yourself, so at least it'd be on your own terms?

Whatever happens, hope you feel calmer soon.

[RozG]

Thanks Rio but...she's already spent money travelling down here and money on a hotel...I'll be on a major guilt trip if i don't see her tomorrow. I just wish she'd thought to ask me first as we've only seen each other twice in the last 12 years...and each time she flamed me bad. Guess i just gotta bite the bullet, go and see what happens...just not looking forward to it.

Thanks for your support tho ((Rio))

[Rio_]

Sheesh...she could have said, you're right. Only thing I can think of is trying to keep it short - if you had a reason to leave, like a friend calling or an appointment, you'd know when it was going to end.

Thanks for the hug.

[pachyderm]

> Only thing I can think of is trying to keep it short - if you had a reason to leave, like a friend calling or an appointment...

Maybe K_J could set that up? Have it set up so that someone calls at a given time?

[RozG]

Thanks Rio

Thanks pachyderm

That's exactly what i'm gonna do...hate to be cruel but i didn't ask her to just land on my doorstep when i already told her i can't handle it atm.

[TaintedGoth1]

[ziggy1]

Sorry ((((((K_J))))) I hear ya about surprise visits....2 words!

They Suck!!!

Try to get a hold of her before hand and explain this to her?

If Possible...?

[RozG]

ty Tainted Goth

((Ziggy)) i'm gonna try but i already e-mailed her b4 and she just ignored it...i've explained i can't face her...i'll try again and see how it goes.

[onlymedid]

Can you post a note on your door saying that you don't feel like meeting or something? Then if she knocks you can do what I do....HIDE....

Just remember that you are an adult and you can make your own decisions, no matter how tough...you can do it.
As for her flaming you, that is just not cool. Sounds like she may do it again and that is concerning because you don't need it!

Sorry I don't have any other good ideas than that and the ones the others have given.



You know I am here for you...anytime.

BJ

[RozG]

LOL don't think that hiding bit hasn't entered my mind. Other solutions that have entered my mind...she doesn't know this city so just be out, she wouldn't know where to look...or...get a friend to fone saying i've been abducted by aliens (?) sorry if that sounds weird but if i don't laugh i'm gonna cry...lol.

you are right about not needing it though...i've sent her a text...again...if she doesn't respond i think i'll just ignore her. hate to be cruel but...she's always got an agenda you know?

[onlymedid]

It's ok to laugh at things when they get to be overwhelming! I do it too. I like the alien abduction...maybe I will use that sometime!
I think leaving for a while and maybe go somewhere you enjoy for a few hours might be just what you need.
I really think it would be toxic if you saw her.

Please take care of YOU first, ok?

BJ

[RozG]

don't worry i will take care of myself first on this one...i just don't want to hurt her in the process. but if she doesn't agree to a compromise then i'm just gonna tell myself she's being self-centred coz she already knows how i feel.

thanks for your input again ((BJ))

[onlymedid]

Not a problem. I'm glad you are going to take care of yourself. You deserve it.

[Doh2007]

Oh my gosh. I just posted about something similar. Let me know how it turns out?

[Perna]

I would have taken the guilt trip behind door number 2. I would have fired back with the, "You know, most people ask before they visit another, make sure the other is available/there; I'm busy and can't see you this week/month/year/life" (not her business what you're busy at :-)