[Abby]

Can anyone help me? I have agitated depression but i'm so much better than i was thankfully! But i've been having jiggling in my legs, i thought it was due to the medication i'm on so i've not given it much thought except at night sometimes when it has stopped me sleeping. But i thought i should tell my pdoc just in case and he said that he doubts v much it is the meds but maybe repressed agitation. Well that was a shock because to be honest i really don't see myself as an anxious person, although i guess i must be considering the diagnosis!! Of course i worry, like everyone else....but i didn't realise to the extreme that i must do. I know it sounds strange but i've never posted in here because i honestly didn't think i had anxiety.

So if my anxiety is repressed to a degree - how do i get it out. And do i want it out? Maybe its best just being a physical expression? What do people think? Or am i just mad?!

[Perna]

I would do more physical activity if the jiggling bothers you, wear your body out more so it's tired :-) It's much harder to deal with repressed anything because it's repressed. You don't think of yourself as anxious because "you" aren't, it's unconscious/repressed. Your body has taken up what your mind isn't seeing.

Anxiety and depression are very closely linked; some people get sad because they can't respond to their environment assertively and so take their angers and fears out on themselves. When you joined PC you were talking about how your family "made fun" of you growing up because you seemed geeky/old for your age as if you'd been born for another, earlier era. There isn't a lot you could do with that information, you didn't "fit" but no one was abusing you or doing much negative about it; but there are pressures to fit in, and when we're painters or writers stuck in a family of actuaries or accountants, we feel those pressure keenly and the trying to fit in or trying to make our own way by ourselves can take a toll. If we can't figure out how to do that fast/well enough, leg jiggling is the result :-)

My stepson jiggled his leg, literally, when he was in high school, my husband says. He is extremely tall, over 7 feet, but didn't like sports/basketball, didn't have any hobbies, etc. and it was hard for him to find his place. He got good grades, had friends, etc. but bombed out of college because he hadn't figured out who he was and what he wanted to do/be yet and was still trying to copy his father's example. It took him until his late 20's and meeting his wife and discovering an occupation he could do well and having a family to finally get his ducks in a row.

I wouldn't worry too much about the repressed anxiety? I would maybe pay a little more attention to when I catch myself jiggling my leg or what-not and try to remember what I was thinking about. I know if I get anxious working on a project or reading, etc., I have the crummy habit of finding myself in front of the open refrigerator, looking for something to eat I know that now so can backtrack and see what "sent" me there. But repressed anxiety is just that, little quirks that show up somewhere "else" and can be hard to trace to their source. It doesn't mean you're an anxiety basket case (I use to be :-) just that you are misplacing your anxiety "into" your body instead of discharging it by dealing with whatever is making you anxious.

[Cyran0]

Abby, have you looked into restless leg syndrome? I have it (as well as sleep apnea and anxiety...God it's great being me) and what you describe sounds like it.

Cyran0

[BalishBun]

hang in there

[Abby]

Thanks guys,

I should do more exercise to be honest, it is pure laziness that i don't!!
Yeh i know that anxiety and depression are related although even with your explanation i still have problems understanding how/why. I have to admit i still worry about what people think of me, but i don't know how to really deal with this other than logically realise that i'm not that important that people are thinking about me that much and rely on the confidence i have been blessed with. If anything i now react completely the opposite if i do realise i'm anxious with people i talk too much, talking myself into circles trying to get them to realise i don't actually like myself that much even though i realise it will come across as i do and apologising profusely for this! I'm odd.

I will try and pay more attention to it - like now i am because i guess i'm tense about being online and replying....but gosh it is so hard to find things to be anxious about!! Maybe the stress of final yr is pumping around more adrenaline than i need?!

Sometimes i get the feeling where i just want to get outta my body. It goes beyond leg jiggling to intense feelings of being beyond my body parameters and needing to get out. But i'll deal with the jiggling for now! One step at a time eh?

I looked up restless leg syndrome. Ouch that sounds so difficult to deal with! I can definately relate with most of the symptoms - i will have to watch and wait. Thanks for pointing this area out to me, i appreciate! Good luck with your restless legs - i feel your pain! I'm not sure what sleep apnea is but it sounds brutal, i'll join you with insomnia?! Although i have to say i can enjoy the insomnia - i get the time to appreciate laying in bed, i hardly ever do that anymore!

take care all!

[Cyran0]

Thanks Abby. Sleep apnea is when you stop breathing when you're asleep. I have to wear what's called a cpap which forces air into my respiratory system all night. What's funny is that I found out I had this when I went for a sleep study about my snoring. When I woke up the next day they said I have restless leg syndrome and sleep apnea and that at one point I'd stopped breathing for almost a minute and a half. Good times. Anyway, glad the info was helpful.

I think a lot of us with anxiety have insomnia issues so you're in good company.

Cyran0