Repressed Memories

This is a very debated subject in psychology and you get all things like false memory syndrome coming into play. But I have experienced repression of my childhood memories. I only remembered my abuse ten years after the abuse actually occured. The memory was triggered by attending a seminar on childhood abuse. Besides the abuse I still have no other memories of my childhood. The abuse has been confirmed by someone so I know the memories are correct. I have been told that this is definately repression.

So I was wondering has anyone ever experienced this or do you know anything else on the topic?

your right... about the need debate over repressed memories... and i think you need to be really careful... i had repressed some of my memories as a child.. and remembered them after i got married while i was expecting my first child... my mom called to tell me that my abusers brother had been killed in a plane accident... it was as if i had never forgotten... but hadn't thought about it for a very long time... my t has told me that is why he is very careful not to suggest memories or outcomes... during t... that because my memories came back the way he did he is pretty sure they are reliable... i know they are real... it's been kind of like putting the pieces of a puzzle together at times... connecting the memories... lyn

Well, I have never forgotten what happened to me. So, sometimes I think that repressed memories are not real. My abuse was bad- I was removed and put into foster care, so it is not a question of how bad the abuse was for whether repression occurs.

I flucutate on this issue. I think without corroboration of the memories, you need to be careful. Because if you are led to believe that things happened to you, it is very distressing having to deal with something that you do not know truely happened. It can ruin your life.

Most people I have met, in group etc, remember events. We dont remember everything like day, color of pants, etc, but they remember their lives and the major events. Most of them dissociate as well, but they have not forgotten everything.

I actually usually dont hang in this forum because of all the repressed memories that are discussed. But I thought I would respond to this with a different opinion.

Just my 2 cents....

riptide i agree that you need to be careful... and some of my memories i do remember... some i know are true... 100% no questions... others i question... i think that it also depends on how you processed what was happening and your ability to cope with the reality... i know that sometimes when i was being abused i had disassociated so much that what i remember is different then a really clear memory... but i can tell you exactly how many slats of wood are across the ceiling in my dad's bedroom and what my body was feeling... but other then that it's just flashes in my brain... while others when i was a teen... i could tell you in detail what happened...lyn

lots of thoughts
likewise, some memories i have and have had for ever - but i didn't know what they meant until now.

others i i didn't get until a lot later. but my family's reality changed by the hour (that i always knew) so i am not surprised.

I know that i can't possibly go from functioning well and being in my 30's one minute to being a mute, curled up ball of fear in an intimate situation, so somethere is terribly wrong. and it happens every time i try to be intimate with someone.

My first flashback came at 16. My second was in college. It just wasn't safe to "know" while my abuser was still around. I really believed he would kill me (when I was knowledgable of the events). When I wasn't knowledgable, i denied it often. then the flashbacks got worse until i confronted them. These days i just get memories (which have a different feel for me than the flashbacks which cause great terror). I have been able to document the earliest 2 abuse events (at least earliest that I know of). I fought back in both situations - which also caused me to split in to my first alternate self.

"Forgetting" or not knowing what was going on in my family was what allowed me to survive it. Literally. my abuser said he'd kill anyone who ever touched me - which would mean him - and i knew he'd kill me or my family before himself. I used to have nightmares about it all the time. I still haven't "remembered" all of it yet in full detail (though I think some of my alters have) because it just isn't safe. I know that the alters in this host will do away with the body at their first availability so i have to do more healing around the edges before it is safe for the system to know the whole. Small steps, small pieces relcaimed so as not to overwhelm and crash the system.

i am glad you survived your family kiya...take gentle care...lyn

(((((((((lyn))))))))))))

I've never repressed a memory so it's a hard one for me to relate to. I agree with those that stress caution and corroboration. That said, if someone showed up claiming satanist alien spaceships abducted them for sexual exploitation, I'd still just offer my unconditional support as real or not, clearly the person needs an understanding ear and a comforting shoulder.

Cyran0

Most of my childhood is locked up somewhere in repressed memories. I had mental & phyical abuse at the hands of my one grandmother and mental abuse from father. I have such little pieces of memories that it is like my childhood is a blank wall. I remembered the abuse late last year and wrote some about it, but still do not know where I was with my Mother. My memories are a lonely place and I try not to think about them as it makes me cry.

((((((((oxbow)))))))))))

Here's the American Psychological Association's take on it.

Some clinicians theorize that children understand and respond to trauma differently from adults.

Some furthermore believe that childhood trauma may lead to problems in memory storage and retrieval.

These clinicians believe that dissociation is a likely explanation for a memory that was forgotten and later recalled.

Dissociation means that a memory is not actually lost, but is for some time unavailable for retrieval. That is, it's in memory storage, but cannot for some period of time actually be recalled.

Some clinicians believe that severe forms of child sexual abuse are especially conducive to negative disturbances of memory such as dissociation or delayed memory.

Many clinicians who work with trauma victims believe that this dissociation is a person's way of sheltering himself or herself from the pain of the memory. Many researchers argue, however, that there is little or no empirical support for such a theory.
http://www.apa.org/topics/memories.html

A Cultural Symptom?
Repressed Memory
Harvard Magazine

are some experiences so horrific that the human brain seals them away, only to recall them years later? The concept of “repressed memory,” known by the diagnostic term dissociative amnesia, has long fueled controversy in psychiatry. During the 1980s, claims of childhood sexual abuse based on recovered memories led to a spate of highly publicized court cases. A number of the supposed victims retracted their allegations in the early 1990s, admitting that they had been swayed by therapeutic techniques. Yet the scientific validity of dissociative amnesia has remained contested ground.

In a recent study, professor of psychiatry Harrison Pope, co-director of the Biological Psychiatry Lab at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital, put “repressed memory” to the test of time. He reasoned that if dissociative amnesia were an innate capability of the brain—akin to depression, hallucinations, anxiety, and dementia—it would appear in written works throughout history. In collaboration with associate professor of psychiatry James Hudson, Michael Parker, a professor of English at the U.S. Naval Academy, Michael Poliakoff, director of education programs at the National Endowment for the Humanities, and research assistant Matthew Boynes, Pope set out to find the earliest recorded example of a “repressed memory.”

The survey yielded various nineteenth-century instances: best known were A Tale of Two Cities (1859), by Charles Dickens, in which Dr. Manette forgets that he is a physician after his incarceration in the Bastille, and Captains Courageous (1896), by Rudyard Kipling, in which “Penn,” a former minister, loses his memory after his family perishes in a flood and recalls that trauma only after being involved in a collision at sea. But the survey turned up no examples from pre-modern sources.

The researchers then offered a $1,000 reward—posted in three languages on more than 30 Internet websites and discussion groups—to the first person to identify a case of dissociative amnesia in any work of fiction or nonfiction prior to 1800. They received more than 100 responses, but none met the “repressed memory” criteria. Although many early texts describe ordinary forgetfulness caused by natural biological processes, as well as instances of individuals forgetting happy memories and even their own identities, there were no accounts of an inability to recall a traumatic experience at one point and the subsequent recovery of that memory.

In a report of their findings published in Psychological Medicine, Pope and his colleagues concluded that the absence of dissociative amnesia in works prior to 1800 indicates that the phenomenon is not a natural neurological function, but rather a “culture-bound” syndrome rooted in the nineteenth century. They argued that dissociative amnesia falls into the diagnostic category “pseudo-neurological symptom” (or “conversion disorder”)—a condition that “lacks a recognizable medical or neurological basis.”

The authors have also refuted a number of alternative hypotheses that might explain their survey results. For instance, they argued, the fact that pre-nineteenth- century societies may have conceptualized memory differently than we do cannot account for the lack of recorded descriptions of dissociative amnesia. “Our ancestors had little understanding about delusions and hallucinations,” Pope points out. “They didn’t know about dopamine in the brain or things we now know cause paranoia or auditory hallucinations, but descriptions of hallucinations [appear] in literature for hundreds of years and from all over the world.” Similarly, “If an otherwise lucid individual spontaneously develops complete amnesia for a serious traumatic event, such as being raped or witnessing the death of relations or friends,” the researchers explained, “a description of such a case would surely be recognizable, even through a dense veil of cultural interpretation” such as spirit possession or some other supernatural event.

What, then, accounts for “repressed memory’s” appearance in the nineteenth century and its endurance today? Pope and his colleagues hope to answer these questions in the future. “Clearly the rise of Romanticism, at the end of the Enlightenment, created fertile soil for the idea that the mind could expunge a trauma from consciousness,” Pope says. He notes that other pseudo-neurological symptoms (such as the female “swoon”) emerged during this era, but faded relatively quickly. He suspects that two major factors helped solidify “repressed memory” in the twentieth-century imagination: psychoanalysis (with its theories of the unconscious) and Hollywood. “Film is a perfect medium for the idea of repressed memory,” he says. “Think of the ‘flashback,’ in which a whole childhood trauma is suddenly recalled. It’s an ideal dramatic device.”

Shortly after publication of their paper, the investigators awarded the $1,000 prize to the nominator of Nina, an opera by Dalayrac and Marsollier performed in Paris in 1786. (Forgetting that she saw her lover apparently lying dead after a duel, the heroine waits for him daily at an appointed spot. When the young man reappears, Nina first seems to recognize him, then doubts his identity, and only slowly accepts him for who he is.) Pope says he and his colleagues were a few years off their threshold of 1800, but he believes their argument holds: “The challenge falls upon anyone who believes that repressed memory is real to explain its absence for thousands of years.”

~ashley pettus

I had an objection or two to the implications Pope was intending to draw from the lack of examples prior to the 1800's. He has (rather unsurprisingly) focused in on the ones that are easily answered, however.

Glad to see that someone won the prize... I was trying to find the link to that but seems to have been removed...

Hi Sherryanne, I remember a lot of abuse and neglect--some of it is in vivid detail, some of it is kind of foggy. I have huge segments of my childhood missing--times where I have no memory. So far, I have not regained any memories. I am not sure what happened during those times...if my current memories are an example of the things that I have forgotten, then I think I don't want to know about the other times.

So, I understand the frustration of not remembering large chunks of your life. I am sorry the memories you have regained are horrible...

I can recall certain things in my childhood, but certainly not a day-by-day, minute-by minute account of things. But I have always had a memory of an event when I was about 6. I can remember every minute, every detail except for a bit in the middle. (The memory covers about 1 hour). The memory was triggered and became more insistent- up to the point that I broached it with my t in the hopes that by talking about it aloud it would go away. I believed up til then that it was innocent. Then as my t and I began talking about it I began realising that there was more to the memory than just an 'innocent' hour... It has taken over a year to talk about it, and because the crucial bit in the middle is still not clear I cannot accept that anything happened without proof. I made up 2 scenarios to fill in that blank; 1 innocent, 1 not. I now have flashbacks of the not-so-innocent scenario but until I have proof that it is the right one I will not admit that anything happened for sure...

It is a hard place to be, and I wish you all the best in this journey.

When I was in the 5th grade, I was held against my will in a cloakroom outside our classroom one morning. The boy who cornered me, evidently he held a knife to my throat and threatened to hurt me if I did not say we were boyfriend & girlfriend.

Today, I am 52 years old and I do not have a memory of the knife on my throat....I only know this happened by the accounts of the teacher and students who found us in the room. I do vaguely remember the words this boy spoke to me, but not the actual attack.

Every now and again through the years I have tried to remember the scenario....but it just doesn't come to me. I have come to terms with the fact that I cannot remember it....I have decided that it doesn't really matter that I cannot remember it...that my brain has repressed it for a reason. For me, personally, I don't think I need to remember how I felt at the time....I can well imagine the fear that must have been there. I am ok with not having complete memory over this situation. But I can understand how other folks may want to remember in order to deal and understand and work past it. I think that if it's meant to come forward....it will....when the time is right.


sabby

((((((sabby, sujunew))))))))))

ANd one thing to account for - when we're kids we don't have a full working knowledge of things we've never come across. If we've never had a knife to the throat, we cannot process that at an adult level. There is no comprehension and the brain says "sorry, worng number". Same goes for other things as well - as kids we cannot have a rationale around something that isn't supposed to happen to kids and the kid has no experience of it. So when it is repettitive, it had to get stored somewhere where the brain can still maintain control through the fear.

I was molested when I was 11 years old. I had no awareness of it until the memory suddenly came back to me about 15 years later. When it happened, I didn't understand, and I guess I didn't think that much of it. I think that I liked that an adult paid attention to me, wanted to sit by me, etc. I had no clue what he was trying to do to me by touching me that way.

When the memory came back, I felt sick. Suddenly I knew what it was. I don't know what made it come up when it did, but there were some details that came up that I was able to use to establish that it was a real memory. Details that my mother and my sister remembered when I asked them, although they didn't understand at the time. Such as the landlady telling my mother that we couldn't go over and visit anymore, although due to the language barrier, mom couldn't understand why.

Case examples aren't considered good emperical evidence, but when you actually expereince something yourself, you know that it really can happen. I can't verify that all recovered memories are true, but I know that it happened to me.

I was molested by my older brother when I was about 8. I repressed all of the memories for about 15 years until they came out during a consentual sexual experience with a boyfriend. I remembered details, a certain dress I was wearing once, and many other details. I didn't just imagine it all suddenly, it really happened. Looking back my mother must have been blind ot to see that something was happening to me because I started acting out, my grades dropped, I withdrew,started talking about death. But there was never any questions or looking into the changes in me. My mom was too busy with her depression and my dads schzophrenia.

Likewise, i was incestuly r***ed at 11 and then by a neighbor at 12 with some other girls. the first one happened while my mom was gone for 6 weeks - so it happened a lot. I got quiet, cried all the time, turned within, was depressed,
****wrote about suicide in school - no one really knew what do to - they just clucked their tongues and left me alone. I remember teachers staring at me at breaks. i stopped caring about things and turned to fantasy. I read non-stop (to hide).... this is the only part i remember - everything else was told to me... I even forgot my mom left - she had to tell me***
The first flashback was at 16 when suddenly i saw myself as my abuser would have (long story) and that was really scary for me. when my abuser moved away for 6 months when i was 12, my grades soared! I made honor roll for the first (and only) time in my life.
then the next r*** (by the neighbor) happened to 3 us girls and we had been drugged. after that it was like I was as pure as the driven snow when we moved away- it was like starting over fresh. I couldn't have been more prim or propper if i'd been raised in princess school.
But slowly, things started surfacing.
oh and i wasn't told all that stuff about my mom and the depression until about 4 years ago. when i had the first flachback i did go back into depression then and my dr tried to get me treated. but my fam didn't believe in therapy (heh, wonder why, eh!?)

Regarding the Harvard magazine article, I don't buy the basic premise of the study.

Consider the wide number of things we now know exist that we didn't know about for most of human history. Are we suddenly supposed to doubt the existence of germs because Shakespeare didn't write about them?

How about the thousands of psychotic characters presented that may have been experiencing abuse trauma but because authors of the time had no idea this happened to people, they just presented the characters as generically crazy?

And let's not forget what culture does to the perception of naturally occuring phenomenon. When religion dominated perceptions of human behavior, a recovered memory could easily be confused with a religious vision, which again appears in literature throughout history.

Finally, how many other human characteristics or illnesses were never chosen as worthy topics by historic authors? Can I conclude that narcolepsy or the subconscious didn't exist prior to the 1900's because it was never seized upon as a worthy plot element in fiction?

As I see it the assumption of the study is flawed so, it's a bs premise in my humble opinion.

Cyran0

Thank you for all your replies. I think there is alot more work to be done on the topic and there are still alot of questions to be answered. As I said my memories have been verified by someone else so I know that generally it is true. Though we still argue on the details. But it good to know that I am not alone in this and I am not weird of strange because for a long time I did not remember. It would be interesting to understand what exactly triggers the memoy and if they could be buried into the subconcious again.

you know i asked my t many times about this... because to tell you the truth i would much rather believe that my memories are constructed... not true... i would much rather believe that it was my sick mind that was making up these pictures that flash in my head... or the memories my body holds... even the ones that i have always remembered ... i would much rather believe that it is me... not my dad... not my babysitter ... not my mom's boy friend... i would rather think i had sex with him... then believe that he was at fault ... that i made the men in my life do those things to me... that i really wanted them too... and if did happen... they are real i would much rather think that i did something to cause it to happen... after didn't i ... that's what i was told?...lyn

For me the triggers are words, expressionss, and mood, general of a person I am with or is around me. But most often it is an angry direct attack that cannot be prepared for or known about, a moment in time that I again face an unwanted attacker. the attack maybe something as simple as a mire arguement or an outright belittling moment that turns me back in time-------and I remember.

I don't remember a lot of the details about my abuse. I never really thought about it much until my children reached the age when I was abuse. Much of what I experience are general body sensations and anxiety when in various situations.

I think part of it depends on the age you were when you were abused, the extent or frequency of the abuse and who the abuser was. The closer the relationship of the abuser and the longer the duration of the abuse the greater chance there is of having repressed memories.

I am in counseling for the first time now at 34 years old. I was abused by 3 people, two were very close family memebers. I can remember everything right up to the point where its going to happen and its as if my memory goes blank.

I had always remembered those memories. Yet, I just recently had a memory return, it was so vivid and clear as day, I remember it like it was yesterday, the house, bathroom everything. I have not told my therapist about it yet, but will try to get the nerve to the next time I meet with her.

I will say that I 100% believe that repressed memories do exist. One because I recently had one come back and I know I am not crazy. Two, because I saw my little sister get abused when I was very young. She was even taken to the hospital after, yet, she does not remember it at all, and I have never told her about.

I have asked her if she was ever abused as a child and she said no, just that one time a man had asked her to do something, but never did it. It was a different man, than the person who I saw do something to her so she definately has that memory repressed.

Hangingon