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#1
Sep 23, 2004, 12:08 AM
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the Junerain I always knew and loved, and oh, how she loved herself and knew herself, the seventeen year old inside me the part that feels more like me, that part, I feel when i was diagnosed bipolar and had homeless problems and was fired from fifty-one jobs all as a result of bipolar I feel the very heart of me the seventeen year ols inside of me that always felt like me was banished from existence, that part of me is still in denial..it cannot br true, she is thinking..I had led a very charmed life up to that point!! What can I do to bring the old me and the new me up to date and back into one piece? My therapist says I am living on memories, of all my friends back then, that I do not have too much to live for in the present moment, but there are possibilities that it could change...
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#2
Sep 23, 2004, 12:14 AM
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(((June))) I don't know if this will help but we all have those times when we live in memories... this is why we seek out the "oldie goldie" radio stations or go through photo albums... and we all wish for those days back, to be able to change things (even though we reallydon't know what we would change in the same time-zone )
I never liked the dx you are operating under... but perhaps it's getting easier for me to accept... that you have connection to your 17 year old is encouraging... and there is hope.. we don't have to leave those memories... they can always be a part of us and our lives... but your T is correct in that we cannot allow the past to rule our present or we have no future.
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#3
Sep 29, 2004, 11:05 PM
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I finally found the route of my problem, I have found it impossible to exist as an adult which explains my obssession of the age seventeen I was living as a seventeen year old would. I read the book, "Changes that Heal.." and read the ways of thinking and worshipping God that weren't adult that were still childlike or immature it is a very good book that walks you through everything you're feeling step by step..I am ready to face adulthood, yes without all my high school friends, yet i am me not them and live my life as I do.
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