[mak62184]

Sorry, I didn't know where to post this, as it is not positive really.

Anyway, as I mention a lot, I'm 24, but I have never been in a relationship before, had sex ever, or been on a date. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I'm too afraid to talk to guys. I've never had any guy take me seriously as more than a friend, or the girl to take advantage of with sex. Granted, I have never had sex, like I mentioned, but I really feel those are the only guys I can get.

I don't know, it's also disheartening to want to date, but not being able to because I think there is something wrong with me, like I'm not pretty enough or popular enough. I think those are the 2 reasons, which I know make no sense to why I can't get a date. Sure, maybe in high school those were good reasons, but as an adult, I sure hope they aren't good reasons. I also look at couples, and see the trashiest of all people with someone, and it makes me feel bad. What I mean by trashy is people who are physically dirty, gross, have no life goals, and don't care about that stuff at all. I mean, if they have someone and get married, why can't I? It just makes me feel so much worse off than them.

[Sannah]

Hi Mak, I never had a serious relationship until I was 28 (and that includes sex)! He is my wonderful husband now! I wouldn't let anyone get too close to me (until I worked through my issues). Please don't be too hard on yourself. For myself, looking back, I am glad that I didn't get involved with anyone when I wasn't pulled together yet. It wouldn't have been good! I have always believed that anything worth doing is worth doing right and this is exactly what I waited for on this. By waiting on a relationship I was able to be healthier and, therefore, able to have a healthy relationship. So get to work on getting healthier and don't be too hard on yourself?

[Junerain]

I, too, waited on sex and dating until I was twenty-seven......I got more and more confident, and now I have my pick of guys...haven't settled down to just one...and am very. very happy.....these things take time...........

[mak62184]

Glad to know I'm not alone on this. It's terrible because practically everyone else I know has had sex before they turned 18, and that means I'm a freak for not doing anything yet. But then, I can look at it in the positive light that nobody has to worry about getting an STD from me or I can't get pregnant, which I really never ever want anyway. I guess I'm also freaking out because I know so many people my age and younger who are getting married or already have, and I just feel like it will never happen for me.

[Sannah]

You are not a freak for not doing the wrong thing! Please believe in yourself!

[Junerain]

Did you know, there was thread in the sexual forum, where everyone who waited a long time for sex posted and there were many, many virgins who simply hadn't met the right one yet The culture is so filled, today, with messages of sex and sexuality, but if you study the forums here, you'll find you are not alone.....

[Timgt5]

Good way to put it. Everyone has there time and place when they are truly ready for their first encounter, I would not rush or push it, when your time truly does come and you are completey comfortable with yourself and the one you are with, it will be a special moment indeed

Hang in there, find the Goddess that resides in you, and introduce her to the world, and all will flow accordingly

TJ

[Lenny]

If I tried to tape a flower upon the stalk I would be playing at a game that the plant knows full well...

If I was patient and waited I would be gifted with what was always there wating for the time and place...

Go about growing young woman and fret little about spring...your Rose will bloom...

IMHO.

With care,

Lenny

[JimWriter]

As a guy growing up with a ton of anxiety, I also felt I wasn't good looking in the eyes of other women. I felt that there was something the matter with me, or that I wasn't deserving of having a girlfriend. But I was wrong and I learned in my mid-twenties, which is when I started dating seriously, that I could have a relationship. Now I'm in my forties , and with good bit of therapy behind me . I've been married from the 15 years. Hang in there. You'll meet somebody. Maybe a counselor would help?