[BalishBun]

My husband was arrested today on a child support warrant. He wont get to see a judge until Thursday. I am worried sick without him and its making my stomache so sick, Im so sad right now, and the anxiety and panic is just creaping bad right now.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( BalishBun )))))))))))))) I am sorry that you are going through this. Is there anyway that you can come up with the support that he is behind on, I don't know how it works where you are but you can be bailed out and price of bail is what you are behind here. I know because my sister has been arrested a few times due to child support.

[cantstopcrying]

(((((((((bali))))) Been there, hon. It is very, very hard. When my S.O. was arrested for non payment, he had actaully been paying the kids money they needed for things and buying groceries with the rest (mom spent money on drugs and herself) but because it wasn't going through FOC, he was arrested. Gotta love the FOC system here in MI. Try your hardest to focus on you during this time...you need care,too!

[BalishBun]

bond is like 10,000 something, which is what he owes in back child support. to get him out is 2,500. I wish i had the money.

[Denise1011]

So sorry that you are going through this.But, you will get thought it. Keep coming here and posting your feelings. It always helps me if I can at least talk about it.

[BalishBun]

What doesnt help is that i dont like being alone, and im afraid of the dark. Somehow ive survived friday night, sat night sun night, and im working on monday night right now. Its so hard, i freak out a lot, the dog likes to bark at things outside (a leaf might blow by) etc, and i start to go into a panic because i think someone is outside (all doors are locked) but i freak out. I need to calm down, I have my Rottweiler with me, but somehow i still forget about being safe and go off the deep end. My anxiety has been so so bad.

[cantstopcrying]

Setting aside, for the moment if you can, the financial worries and everything else, think of this as empowering!! Empowering? Yes, empowering! This is something you didn't think you could do...and you are doing it!! If you aren't used to being alone, of course you're scared. Perfectly normal! Once you have gotten through this, it won't seem as bad if you are ever alone at night again. Still may be scarey, but not as bad. When I was first married and he was out at sea, I'd come home and check every closet, behind the shower curtain, under the bed, and someone asked what I would do if someone were there...I had no idea but the point was it made me feel safe...if I didn't do it, the not knowing would have caused me such anxiety. If you are uncomfortable in the dark, leave a small light on...heck leave a big light on!! It isn't silly. Try very hard, the next time the dog barks, to see what he's barking at. Maybe turn out the lights and look out the window, satisfy yourself that there is nothing there. The more you do that the more comfortable you will become. I'm so sorry you are scared...it's a horrible feeling. But you can come through this even stronger and therefore more empowered!!

[thelostone]

((((((((((balishbun)))))))))))

i am sorry for what you are going through. my H went to jail a couple times when we were much younger. it sucked, but it taught me that i COULD survive on my own. we lived out in the middle of nowhere, but i did have kids and a big dog. the nights were definitly harder, i would sleep in one of his dirty t-shirts and with his pillows. the smell helped.

and just for the record, i think locking people up to get them to pay money they don't have is bulls***. i understand locking up the rich guy who just doesn't want to pay it. that makes sense, but when it's not getting paid because you don't have it locking you up is not going to help you get it. good luck honey, i hope things work out ok.

lost

[gimmeice]

((((balishbun ))))))))))))))))
I struggle with being alone at night also. What has helped me is a baseball bat, I just carry it around everywhere I go if I am alone, I know it sounds silly but it makes me feel secure.

[BalishBun]

Well, its been 10 days. I am slowly getting better with the being alone (I am amazing myself right now). Thursday was my husbands meeting with the judge, and it went as bad as it could go. He was sentenced to either $2,500 or 45 days in jail. I was a wreck that day, I had a panic attack once I left the courtroom and started hyperveltilating. At that point I didn't care it was happening, I was too upset to try and stop it. I had a deputy near me, and my husbands court appointed attorney. I appreciated that they stood by me. The court appointed attorney walked with me outside, and admitted to me that she once had surgery (not heart surgery like mine) but she had a surgery, and she had the feelings of anxiety (and even described some of the things non-panic/anxiety people would not know), so I knew right then that she knew what I was going through. It was amazing to know that someone with such a promising career admitted that to me. Well, they already set a date for hubby to be released, and that would be december 19th. That is less than 45 days, so that is already good, and hubby is now a trustee at the jail, to help work (mop and things like that), and there is a 'possibility' that he could be released sooner for good behavior/overcrowding of the jail. I just wanted to update everyone, and thank everyone that has said something, its all been very helpful.

Today though, I had a few palpitations, but it makes sense with the stress ive had to go through today. I visited hubby at jail (behind a glass wall though), that was all well and good but i had to have someone come and get me because my car alarm is not letting me start the car, so I get to have someone try and help me tomorrow. Now Im at home with no vehicle, oh joy. Anxiety is a little higher because of my car stressing me out, and because my phone got turned off for non payment, and i had to call them and make a payment (money supposed to go to the mortgage), just so i could call people to have someone to get me. UGH.