Scared to go back to College

Hi Everyone

The Winter semester begins on Jan.5/09! I am terrified to go back to school. I dont want to study, do homework, be around women that are catty and gossip.

I'm having anxiety attacks everyday now.

HELP!

Zen888

zen, i am really sorry that u are scared to go back to college. i go back on the 12th and i am scared too. i dont want to go back. i fear the depression and the lonliness i have to go through when im there...<3 ur in my prayers and know that ill always be here for you if u you need someone to talk to

Aw. I can relate to both of you. I'm headed back the 12th as well, and I'm afraid I'll flunk out, and I'm afraid of the kiddy-ness of the girls around me, as well as the lonesomeness that I feel. I also get very depressed in the winter, and have frequent anxiety attacks. I'm nervous to go back, but I keep in mind that as miserable as it is, it's going to give me a better future. It's hard, I know, but sometimes it just gives the extra push that wills me to keep going in school, instead of giving up. Another thing that is very helpful is coming up with a list of 5 or 10 things that are good in a very bleak situation. Say, for example, you're stuck eating a holiday dinner with people that you don't really want to deal with. Some things that might be positive in the situation could be - the mashed potatoes are good, I can go do something for myself after this dinner, even though there are people here that I don't like, I do like _________. I don't know if that's a very coherent thought because I'm not good at explaining it, but if you do understand, it really helps to clean up a bleak situation, and at least take some pressure off. Anyways, just know I'm thinking about you guys, and good luck. Hope this helps.
-Ella

Does anyone know of any good coping mechanisms to combat my anxiety about returning back to college? My anxiety is a full body reaction.....racing thoughts, paranoid thoughts, racing heart beat, stomach in knots, shaking, feel sick to my stomach, ...etc. I take medication but if I take too much it makes me sleepy.

Find some good grounding techniques to help you stay in the here and now---and not in the future where you conjure up impossible to handle scenarios. (Some are sticky posted on site)

Make a list of things that you WOULD like to have when attending college. Once you're there, talk to a professor or your counselor/advisor about finding what you seek. Sometimes joining a particular group that meets on campus will work.

Realize that many of the college attendees are quite immature and not very focused. (Just met a few thousand of them for the Orange Bowl btw.) Find some key phrases to use to let them politely and nicely know you're not there for gossip and backbiting. (Sorry, I really don't know the phrases to use these days.)

Meditate. Breathing is huge when it comes to anxiety attacks. Usually when we panic we hold our breath, making it worse.

College can be a great experience! Seek out what you want and leave the rest behind!

My semester begins on January 15th, and I can't wait to go back The depression and loneliness go away because I'm so busy with studying, reading and classes. Talking with other people means so much to me. I love absolutely every second of it
If anyone feels the opposite, please let me know and I will do my best to help.

EnglishMajor....I feel opposite!

Hoping that your classes go well for you.

For those of you who are anxious about going back to school, are you in your first year? I found that my first year was the worst, but there were other holidays that I did not want to return from every year. It seemed like friends came and went, which I think is pretty normal. Sometimes, I came back and felt lonely. But then I would make some new friends in my new courses. I would try different activities. College is a good time for you to find what you like. I finished within the last 5 years, so it hasn't been that long ago for me. I remember times of extreme loneliness. But I also remember good times, too. I think many people feel that way.

Feel free to talk to me anytime you'd like.

I have anxiety attacks before going to school over the catty...mean.. and immature women in the program.

Are they mean and catty to you or in general? This is the reason I've always always always had more male friends than female. My girls are the same way. Each only has two good girl friends, the rest are guys. This sounds stupid and horrible and probably a bit childish but I have developed, in my mind, a place I call "Stupid Island". It's...obviously...an island. I developed this because at work I can't just say, "Really? You are that stupid that you need me to come up and add paper to the copy machine??" So, when I get stupid calls like that, I hang up the phone, close my eyes and pictue the person being rowed in boat out to the island, where they have to live with other "stupid" people. How ever will they survive?? I don't know. You could do the same thing, you could have a "Mean Island" and when you hear the meanness and idiocy, you could visualize them being sent away, then they don't effect you any more. I hope you are able to relax and focus on your classes, hon.

for me one of the best things i can do for my anxiety, racing thoughts, etc. is exercise. i know everyone doesn't maybe wanta hear that but it does work! here's why, zen, you body is doing a lot of work and your brain can't be working just as hard at the same time. plus it relaxes the tension, gives you more energy-yep, and your mind gets it's needed rest so you can study.
by now you are already back at school i hope things are going better for you than you thought...sometimes our mind plays tricks on us. i call it the "what ifs" game.
let us hear from you and how you are doing. we care.

Tell us more about these mean women. Are they in authority over you? Can they directly affect your grade?

What are they doing and saying?

I recently read in a magazine about how to deal with various types of jerks. And I've dealt with a lot of them.

This is a college program. The comments or reactions arent always directed at me. They will say things like "I dont want to be in her group" or they will pout or roll their eyes........or just gossip. It makes for someone like me who is already anxious about working in groups more anxious. They arent in authority over me they are just fellow classmates. And yes they can affect my grade if we work in groups and they do a poor job...etc.

How do I relieve the morning stress and anxiety??

Some mornings it takes everything I have in me to get up at 6am to get to my 8am class!

Why don't they want to be in your group? Are you shy/quiet and they've misjudged your intelligence? Or did you do something to make them not like you?

I hate working in groups with girls. I was in a male dominated major so I could give them attitude, and they'd get over it - and the job would get done.

Each one of those girls individually is just a person with their own insecurities. They bunch up like that because it makes them feel less weak.
If it were me, I'd imagine myself giving them some attitude. Picture yourself facing them individually. They're just people.

I'm shy so I guess as I've been told it makes me an easy target. I did get all A's in the Fall semester...with a GPA of 3.8.

Can you take some time off?

I guess I could take time off but that would just leave me more classes when I come back.

Are you back to school yet? How is it going? I hope you are hanging in there. I know it’s hard. I can tell you are really struggling. I’m sorry.

My advice? Don't quit. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I know its hell. I've been there. Try as hard as you can.
Then see what happens. Then see what happens next. Then see what happens after that.

What I'm saying is...Try and take a step back and look at yourself and your situation, from a distance. Get curious. As if you’re watching a TV show and can't wait to see what those catty girls are going to do next. That might help you be more objective.

Those girls can only hurt you if you let them. I know it doesn't feel that way. But it's true. Don't let other people get in your way. This is your time. Take it. Take the good stuff (even if there isn't any, but the fact that you are getting an education so you can have a better future) and just take the **** those girls give out and throw it right in the trash can!!! Because that's what it is--garbage. Garbage isn't all that scary, right? You just put it the can and then take it out to the curb and then it's gone. What's scary about that?

I don’t mean to make it sound as if it is easy. And I am not trying to minimize your pain. I know it is hard. I know you are hurting. Like I said, I’ve been there. And if you just can’t handle it anymore, it’s OK to rest a while. It’s always OK to rest a while—whatever that means—a semester off or just a weekend away, or just a weekend in BED!.

--I bet at least half of those girls feel the same way you do, to some degree at least. They might just be really good at hiding it (behind their cattiness!)--