Worrying over things that I have no control over.

Does anyone else worrying over anything that they have no control over? I do and tonight I am on a crying jag. My husband and my mother are just letting me cry. My OCD really kicks and a read and reread things that I don't need to know and worry about everything. I have taken a muscle relaxer ( for an old injury that is really hurting), a xanax and my blood pressure medication that is suppose to make me sleepy. That was over an hour ago.

I worry over things I have no control over, too. Sometimes I just have to get things out of my system.

If you feel you need to read something, try your Bible, Hon. Also, some warm milk and honey is supposed to relax you enough to make you sleepy. Maybe with the meds you've taken, it will take hold?

Good luck sleeping. I'm looking at a sleepless night, myself.

Thanks for the reply. I read my bible daily. I decided to learn the books of the bible in order and think on that when I start panicing. Any suggestions on if you are lactose intolerant? I appreciate your prayers.

People with anxiety obsess over things because they think sometimes that control means safety "if everything is under control, everything will be alright". This thinking results from growing up feeling insecure. I beat this thinking..........

How did you beat this kind of thinking, Sannah? It could help others to know what worked for you.

my son has this condition, lactose intolerance. you can purchase "special" milk at the food stores for this type of condition plus there are pills you can take, too, before eating dairy products.
sounds like the ocd is in overdrive. do u take meds for this? if so, can you call your pdoc for a med adjustment?

Thanks for the replies. I am going to make an appointment with my doctor for an adjustment in my medication. The paxil doesn't seem to be working. My aunt wants to know what I find out because the paxil isn't working for her either and our body chemistries act the same. Panic disorder and OCD run on my mother's side of the family plus phobias. My great aunt can't stand to be out after dark without wearing a hat to cover her eyes so she won't see the night sky. I have the same phobia. I hate the fact some people think we are stupid because of our phobias and disorders. I have college degree, my great aunt worked in the White House during the Carter administration, and my aunt is the mayor of her small town. We are just trying to make it. My grandmother is worried about us all. She lives in another state from me, but she has to hear from us once a week or she starts panicing.

Any suggestions are how to cope with menopause? On top of everything else, I have started going through it.

Hun, I used to be afraid to look at the night sky, too. I was afraid of what I might see. It all came from my anxiety. Once I got the anxiety taken care of, most of my phobias went away.

Paxil never did work for me, either. To me, it's just a sugar pill. I take Lexapro now and Klonopin for anxiety when the Lexapro doesn't get it. I'd rather be on Xanax for anxiety because it's so quick acting, but they say it stops working (one doze) just as quick. I don't remember. Also, it's supposed to be easier to get addicted, too. I never had that problem with any of my meds.

I sure would say you need a change of meds.

PS I have no experience with menapause. Had a hyster. long time ago.

Thanks for the reply. I have a doctor's appointment Tuesday. I used to take paxil years ago and it worked great but now as you said it's just a sugar pill. My doctor had mentioned Lexapro if the paxil didn't work out. I am also see if he can give me something for my sinuses. I know it is probably adjusting of all my medications including my blood pressure. My pastor and my church family prayed for me tonight. I wasn't the only asking for prayer. I am thankful for my church family and the friends that I have made on PC. Tomorrow night during bible study, I am going to have a friend seating with me while I am online. She is needing help, and I told her about PC. She wants to join, but she wants me to show her around first. I hope you don't mind. Donna

It's funny (not really, but hey gotta laugh sometimes right?) cause i'm not so much afraid of the night sky as when i look up and start to think about space and infinity and the foreverness that the night sky seems to display (ha-as i type thinking about it is making me freak. ah, well...)

When it comes to calming down once you're up there- it really is different strokes for different folks. I read in an article somewhere on this site (I don't remember. Too ADD) a breathing technique that i've tried many times even in the past couple of hours.
Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds.
Hold for 4 seconds.
Breathe out slowly through pursed lips for 4 seconds.
Take two normal breathes, and repeat.

I like to think about things that make me happy while i'm doing this, like kids playing in the rain and puddles or puppies running across the floor and sliding without being able to stop . Just think of whatever makes you happiest and feel the most tranquil.

ami.

Beating anxiety is long-term and multifaceted. Funny how you say that it could help others. From what I gather here many people just want a quick fix and don't seem interested in the long term work.

To begin with, the belief "if everything is under control then everything will be okay" to beat this you have to stop doing it. When you don't do it then it gives you a chance to realize that everything is okay even when things are out of control. You might have to do it slowly to be able to tolerate it. (I know someone who vacuums everyday. If she wanted to, she needs to stop feeding her anxiety with this obsession. To gradually do it maybe start with every other day). Our anxiety is from our insecurity while growing up. Many of us are secure today in our lives. The trick is to convince our minds that we are secure. Our minds and feelings are still in the past when we were young and powerless.

One of the biggest things is to be self-aware. You have to understand yourself to get better. This understanding yourself includes understanding how you got to where you are (how your upbringing affected you).

There are so many facets to beating anxiety. It is hard to explain them in one post. I worked on self-worth, personal boundaries, social skills, meeting my needs, living in the present, empowerment, my feelings, etc. After all of this work I just had to stop the habit of being anxious by always being aware and consciously making the disconnect from the past so that my feelings were coming only from the present. (For many this would include purging past feelings in therapy. You have to work through feelings from the past. They aren't just going to go away.)

Thanks for the reply. I know that there isn't any quick fix. I appreciate your advice. I striving to overcome this. Donna

Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help......

At the risk of offering an unrequested (quasi-)psychoanalytic response, perhaps why you are really crying is your inability to tolerate your feeling(s) of powerlessness? I mean intellectually you know you can't control the things in question (and know that feeling that you *should* be able to is also "irrational"), but often it's still the *feelings* that get us, and what need to tackled head-on.

The Serenity Prayer if you know it has incredible wisdom for things like this (IMO)--but it's not a quick fix (unfortunately).

I worry about things I have no control over, because thse fears will eventually become reality. All I manage to do is delay the events.

It's funny that you say that, pessimism...you see the glass half full and believe that if something bad is going to happen it will. Tell ya what, 17 years ago I was diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder...no one told me much about it including my Ts.

Very recently my wife came home and said we were done, she didn't love me and there was nothing I could do change that. I went OFF! I have never felt such physical and mental pain in my life...3 previous fialed marriages, I was never really in love with my partners...anyway... I had started seeing a new T because I was angry all the time and anxious again. I was doing fine before my family moved to the UK (wife is in the Armed Forces). Until yesterday, altho I did have one really good T who was helping me, I never got to finish with her...I found out a lot about what was up with me and what happened to me for my wife to come home and say such things.

Exactly what you said, I had it in my head that I wasn't good enough for her, and someday things would end with her, and I was just putting it off, because of my insecurities of her leaving me, I got controlling (I didn't know anxiety/panic peeps had to have control), and I was very angry all the time, yelling and hitting things (I didn't know this anger was the flip side of the coin for anxiety/panic disorder). I never mentally or physcally abused anyone, but I would go off. Again, I didn't know that anger, and even to the point of me lashing out like I did, went hand-in hand with anxiety. Now, I do. BUT, if I had not worried about my faithful, beautiful, loving wife, who now btw is staying, and we are working on the marriage (there are other factors on her side with her mental health...but that doesn't matter here). She stated she couldn't stand the anger and my conrtolling her anymore. So, you see, I did just what you said, I believed that things would some day end, and they almost did, because I let my anxitey become controlling and angry. If it wasn't for my T and him letting me know that I was very insecure, and that the anger was the flip side of the coin for my anxiety yesterday, would I have ever know? I don't know...I had an idea that this was what it was, I am not totally ignorant to the fact that hrrrm, I was really anxious, and very angry at the same time, and when I am not anxious, I am not angry. I didn't listen to myself but someone else telling me yeah, I need to listen, because it's what it is.

I no longer feel anger, I have to control that, don't and won't lose my wife, and I have to remember that every time I call her and she doesn't answer, or I call her and she doesn't call back for an hour, or I email her and she doesn't respond right away, that NOTHING is going on, she's working, that's what she does, she's not cheating on me, or leaving me.

I have to work on my self esteem, my insecurities, get out of the past, and think just like Sannah. You can't think that everything is going to be bad, yes, some things will be bad, it's life and you can't change that, but if you are a positive person, can learn to deal with what you are feeling, and get past it...you're well on your way. BTW, the only drug that works for me is Kolonopin, I have tried a lot, but I am a normally laid back guy who let 7 years of insecurity build to where I almost lost everything, and that's just not gonna happen again, I belive it won't, I believe my Lord and Saviour won't let it happen, and He's the reason we are still together...he showed me the right T, he took away my anger, yeah, I still get anxious, I'm human, but I can learn to get better, and stop thinking everything is going to be bad, coz since she told me last Monday (week ago), that we were over, every day has gotten better with her, we are getting closer and hopefully she'll make a break through with her therapy and things will slowly but surely be great again. Now she has promised to never leave me and everything will be ok. I just have to be who I am, and not let my anxieties change me.

I totally agree with Sannah, but do see a T, you have to work through this stuff, and you can't do it on your own!

GL to all! And don't be surprised Faylowell, you find the right T, you'll be feeling a lot better, a lot faster than you expected!

The doctor has put me on zoloft for my ocd, panic disorder, and now depression this week. I receive counseling from my pastor which helps a great deal. I am doing better. I am making changes that count. I am also working on breaking the obsession / compulsion. I got book that has exercises for it. I am working on changing my thinking. Thanks for the reply.

Zoloft is one of the better ones for panic, I know that, and good for you, sounds like you're taking the right steps...but I would still suggest that you see a T, not just a doc for drugs, you won't get to the root of your problems, which will go a long way in healing you. See, now that I know the root of my problems, I can manage them, and even better, learn to control them and get better!