Christmas=total failure

I just joined the community hoping to find others who could understand how someone could "fail' at a holiday that hasn't exactly sprung up without warning. It is late Christmas morning here in the Midwest U.S. and there still aren't any decorations on the Christmas tree (too much cleaning to do first, still so much time left to do it, and so many things more urgent to be done...), no presents under that pathetic tree (for the above reasons, and can't find where I've hidden them in the clutter), my ADHD teen son and I missed the Christmas Eve service at church (a BIG deal for me) because we were so late, and I've never managed to find the time or clean kitchen to bake any cookies. This stuff might seem very trivial to many of you, but keeping these traditions matters A LOT to me, as does trying to create happy memories in our screwed-up, chaotic, single-mom family of two.

I'm also trying-and failing BIG TIME-to model for my son how to keep trying and succeed in spite of ADHD. As I've lost my external supports (husband left and parents died all within a few years) it has gotten increasingly difficult for me to handle "life"-all the things that everyone else can seem to get a grip on. I'm on Straterra, the only drug my DR. will try, and it isn't doing any good. At age 50 I feel so beaten down by a lifetime of failures, some of them a huge deal to me or someone close to me, that sometimes I just want to stay down and quit trying.

Has anyone else had an epic failure when the stakes were "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?"

(((SoADD)))

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I don't have ADD---But I wanted to offer perhaps some support with a hug and maybe some words.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate two kids and being a Mom is a job that I can't imagine.

The day is not over, and yes while it is important to celebrate traditions, perhaps taking one thing at a time some times is the best thing.

Keeping a clean house I have issues with, with my S/O and I-- I am finding it is something I have to incorporate into my every day life with small things, or it all piles up.

Things may not go exactly how we want, or "how they should", but things usually work out, some how, some way.....

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I hope your kids and you have a wonderful holiday this year, I hope things start to look up today, and remember-- the most important thing is all of you together

Perhaps take this year as a tool-- things to improve on for next year

It is not a failure if you have tried and learned from it all

Welcome to PC and happy holidays

Thanks for the hugs and the quick reply beauflow. I really needed to hear from someone!

Hi,

Hope you are feeling a bit better now that 'Christmas' has passed and not giving yourself too much of a hard time. I too didn't make it to Church, managed to wrap presents 30 minutes before we were meant to leave for lunch. Still ended up 40 minutes late and as I was meant to bring the cherries and nuts for nibbles before the main meal, I wasn't too popular yesterday. I did manage to get a tree decorated of sorts this year - only because we've not had one up for 6 years and I kept it out for 3 weeks prior so we would remember to put it up. I also lost all supports (never had any really).

I was diagnosed with adhd last week. Ironically, I'm not sure if I have adhd or just add - don't think he was clear on that. Still not sure how a Doctor and diagnose after completing a 15 minute single page screening form. But it sure does sound like I have it as I tick all the boxes well and truly. I have mixed emotions of relief, renewed hope, grief at having lost 40 or so years of my life to this with every doctor and psychologist never picking it up. 40 years of trauma, failures, never being good enough all makes sense now. Apparently I survived due to a high IQ and the many varied survival mechanisms I had put into place (without even realising it) - just thought that was how everyone survived this tricky thing called life.

I think we may have a few things in common. Happy to 'chat' now and then. I understand your situation very well. Mine is quite similar. Single Mum to one child as well.

I commenced ritalin and productivity seemed better at first – oh to have had THAT focus 20 years ago when I started in the work place. Focussing on only about 10 things at a time now, not 1000. Creativity doesn't seem to have been affected (I was particularly worried about it being dulled somewhat ~ a good thing since I need it for my business).. Much of the sensory overload I was experiencing has lifted. Praise GOD! I now have a little peace inside my head - first time in about 20 years! Still working very long hours - but I'm tired at night for a change. I like it! Not much of an appetite - which is fine since I need to lose a few kilos.

Hope you are OK.

((((hugs)))))

now christmas day is over how do you feel?

Sorry, I didn't mean to go on and on about my situation. I hope you are ok.

Give yourself credit SooADD, You have a hard load to carry. Your Christmas sounds kind of like mine. Mine was a big botched failure and I was pretty depressed. I hope you are feeling some better today. It helped a bit to get back into the regular routine.