[done with it]

Dear any reply would be appreciated!

I was known as an unstoppable kid whom had enough energy to worn out a whole group of people etc.

Today i am 24 years old i had some serious drug related (weed and anfetamine) i figured that, that was a way for me torun away from things or to keep myself busy.
After a while my brain could not take the substances anymore therefore i stop doing it all! By not being able to take it i mean i had the feeling of losing control over myself, like i will pas out etc.
After that event o got seriously depressed that was some 4 years ago where i also wanted to finish this whole journey well luckly i found a person whom helped me out of that mind state but since then i am experiencing in periods of 2-3 months being super energectic and doing 2 jobs and more at the same time if needed giving a lot of work on my shoulders and then just like that i fall back into depression etc.
In the last 1.5 half i started experiencing panic attacks (crowded places, things i don't have control over), super low self estem etc.
I've seen thearpist whom have me antidepresive pills whom made me feel even more depresive than i was, i was traveling at the same time when i was experimenting with them so you can imagine how my trip was like .

The point is that it feels like that i can't control what is happening in my brains like i am fighting a war against my brains, in the morning when i wake up until when i go to sleep and it super tring especially if i am being super active and then this pops in.

My therapist said that i am dealing with:
panic attacks
depression

in my opinion this might be result of ADHD but i am not sure...

Ohh when i feel like that i always want to get away...where...don't ask...just away living in the woods as when i feel like that i have the feeling that everybody that are around me i can feel what they feel, think i can see the terror coming (until now it didn't happen), it's just all teh impressions that are around me are coming in my head without me bing able tp control the amount i want to take in and then the show starts.

Don't know what to expect from you but if you have a nice thought or advice please!

[Travelinglady]

Hi! I encourage you to tell your therapist about the antidepressants not working. But I think you already know you need to stay away from these other recreational drugs. I'm sure they are not helping the situation.

I encourage you to keep working with professionals until they and you see what is happening. It sounds a bit like bipolar disorder to me--or the results of using those other drugs for a long time, if you did.

Things can get better. Often it's a matter of finding the right drugs in the right dosages. Hang in here!

[avlady]

Yes stick to a regular schedule and quit the recreational drugs. It is most likely panic and depression, you can get meds for that too.

[Maus5321]

It seems a little to my like there is some Bi polar floating around in your words you posted. If you do not get far with the therapist you currently have. Try to find one who has a specialty in what you think is the issue. Add and Bi polar can be really close in the symptoms. But they will be able to decipher. You just gotta find that one person you connect with. It can be a long road but is O so worth it.

For me my anxiety and depression was a result off my own ADD. I was using drugs and alcohol to cover it up. But I had to quit. Things were getting bad for me. I finally found a PDOC who is helping me out quite alot. And I have no urge to drink or do drugs as it stands right now.

Keep up the strong will and things will get better. then the world will be lifted.